Don’t you miss those days when you had an endless amount of time to leisurely linger over each and every page of the New York Times? Er, uh, I mean the New York Post. The other day, I was skimming the Post because I don’t want to miss one sensationalized, over-dramatized, gossipy beat in this city and I saw this…
A brother and sister, touring a South African safari park, crossed paths with this six-ton elephant. I showed the photo to my daughter Dylan.
“Honey, look at this huge elephant. He’s resting his… um… He put his…” I point to the picture. “What’s that called?” I ask.
“Trunk,” My 3 1/2 year-old responds.
“Oh, yeah. Now why couldn’t I think of that? He’s resting his trunk on their car. Isn’t that funny?!”
I am hoping that my inability to think of the word “trunk” is a symptom of my 6:30 am wakeup calls, rather than the slow deterioration of my brain. But there is something just a tad unsettling about your toddler reminding you of the name of something you’ve known since your toddler days.
By the way, that duo, with the elephant, is totally fine. The ginormous animal just kind of hung out there for about 6 tense minutes and then wondered off into the brush.
But seriously, couldn’t they just drive away? How fast could an elephant possibly run? He weighs 6 tons for gosh sakes. But what do I know? I couldn’t even come up with the word “trunk” so I’m obviously no elephant savant.
I don’t know how to segue from elephants to really anything else in my life, so – head’s up – we’re done with elephants. I mean, for now. They could totally make a come back. I like to keep things spicy and unpredictable around here.
So yesterday, that THING happened.
You know, when a complete stranger or maybe someone you know walks right on up to you and says those lovely, touching words, “When are you expecting?”
Umm… expecting what exactly? A baby? Oh you see, really super funny story, I’M NOT PREGNANT. But heck, LOOKING pregnant is just as fun. Maybe I’ll kill the afternoon registering for some layette.
So let’s just all agree that unless you see a delivery table, no need to ask a woman when she’s due. If you actually see the delivery table and a woman is laying on it and she looks reasonably uncomfortable and there are a lot of people in white coats and scrubs, then go ahead and ask. If not, skip it.
Jeesh… Way to make a girl feel like an elephant. Oh, there you go. I told you those animals would pop up again.
mama bird notes
We have a guest contributing mama today! Diane LeBleu’s husband has a knack for getting in fender benders and this mama is getting fed up. Click here to read more.
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