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Men seem to be strikingly different from women. Which is completely fine unless you live with one of them. This is how it seems to go.

My girlfriend Alex was oh-so-kind to loan me a few baby clothes for our trip to Florida. 13 month-old Summer balked at wearing her long T’s and cords in 80 degree weather. High maintenance, that girl.

So here are the directions I gave my husband Rick.

Me: Can you please pick up a small, blue bag from Alex’s doorman? She’s loaning us a few shirts and a couple skirts for Summer.

Rick: Yeah, no problem.

This is what Rick (a very smart, talented and successful guy) brought home:

A gigantic, tall, white kitchen garbage bag, with the name, “Ellen Goodman” taped to the side, stuffed with something soft. Definitely could have been clothes. Like someone’s entire sweater drawer.

Me: That’s not THE BAG. It’s not small. It’s not blue.

Rick: Well, I never heard you say anything about blue.

Apparently, he heard bag and he, indeed, picked up a bag.

And further proof that we are a bit different…

This past weekend I cleaned and organized our computer desk. That newly clutter free, smooth, polished and buffed desk fills me with unbridled, exuberant joy. It’s so CLEAN. AND. ORGANIZED. As for Rick, when it comes to the desk, he’s not even close to anything unbridled or exuberant. Unless I put a seasoned pork chop on it. Or his iPhone. Or maybe some chicken parmesan.

And if you are still not yet convinced…

There’s the HDTV. Oh, you know, that life altering, high definition, it’s jumping into your living room, experience.

Rick: Look at that. Isn’t it incredible?

Me: What?

Rick: The picture. The detail. It’s like you are at the stadium. You feel like you are on the field. God, it’s amazing. Look at that.

Me: Wait, I’m watching it right now?

Rick: YES. It’s HD. Don’t you feel like you are on the sidelines?

Me:I don’t see it. And I’m sorry for this because I love you very much. But I just don’t.

Rick: How can you not see it? (Sigh)

Rick is dumbfounded that I still record my fave tv shows on the NON high definition channels. But why?! It would take me a whole 4 minutes to reset my recording preferences. Actually, about the same amount of time it takes to pick up the correct, blue bag from a doorman.

mama bird notes

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13 Responses to the difference between you and me

  • Lisa says:

    Laughed out loud at this one! My husband did something similar at the grocery store this week…..and gives me s—- b/c my shows are also recorded on the non hi-def channels. I told him I didn’t want to risk messing anything up to change them. 🙂

  • Susan says:

    I laughed out loud with this story. We closed on a new house on a Friday and my husband got a new HDTV on Saturday. I never new we had channels in the 800’s (HD stations) for six months.

  • sam says:

    this made me laugh so hard i was crying, coming back with the goodman bag!! (sorry rick, but it is freaking hilarious!) thank you so much for the belly laugh, made my day! xo

  • Jennifer says:

    Ain’t that the truth. Over the weekend I sent my husband out for a Hannah Montana doll for my daughter’s birthday and he came back with…Barbie. Um. Men! *grin*

  • Love it, Kelc! It took us a few years in to realize that we speak different language. Once we cleared that up, things got a lot easier. Enjoy Florida…it’s 1 degree here this am!

  • Tully's Mama says:

    I side with Rick on the HD bandwagon. Total snob I am about the picture now. Coach Taylor looks THAT much better if you can believe it. I picture myself on the sidelines with him. But that’s for another blog. Great one today, Kelc. Thought you’d be Boca-tized and not with us this week. Nice.

  • Betsy says:

    I was crying I laughed so hard. Having just moved I was subjected to standing in front of the wall of TVs at the store trying understand why one looked better than the rest. (I think JUST PICK ONE was my main thought.) Mantha wasn’t impressed either. Apparently, Dora doesent look much better on the bigger HD tv.

  • mommywindow says:

    LOL get out of my house! My hubby John and I have the same conversation about HD… John: “look you can see thier sweat”
    me: “that’s nice dear”

    Have fun in FL, Come visit me in Tampa!!

  • Auntie T says:

    Hi Kelcey, I'm a week behind but got quite a laugh. I TOTALLY don't see the HD thing! Dana just can't believe it, either. And for the blue bag, it;s just like "refirigerator blindness", goes like this:

    Dana: "where's the mustard"

    Me: "top shelf, right side"

    Dana: "no, it's not"

    Then I go and get it on the top right side of shelf and he responds: "oh, that mustard!"

  • Kristen says:

    I love the book… The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. He writes about how each of us has ways in which we receive love. It is great. It is also helpful in knowing how to best love your kids (and anyone for that matter).

kelcey kintner