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So I was stoked (that word is so underutilized) to see a big jump in readership lately and then (gasp!) someone goes ahead and unsubscribes from the mama bird diaries this week. Oh, snap. You didn’t just do that!?!

Was it the condoms?

Was it the elephant’s penis?

Was it the building pipe that looked like a tampon?

Is it because my eldest daughter uses a portable potty on the street?

Maybe that reader is just incredibly, ridiculously old and she thinks I slighted 104 year-old’s in my last post when I mentioned I did not want to buy the same bathing suit as a woman who looked 104. Yes, I’m certain that’s got to be it. She must have been thinking… “Gosh, that mama bird chick is so funny, smart and sassy. If only she didn’t go and bash centenarians, I would have been a life long reader.”

Apparently, you can’t please everyone. But I hate to alienate the centenarian sector.

Well, let me tell you, that defector is going to miss out on some awesome stuff. Like… um… like, oh I know. Like this rat in front of my building.

Because two mammoth construction projects and mega amounts of scaffolding isn’t enough to beautify our little street. What we really need is a gigantic blow-up rat.

If you live in New York City, you probably know the rat. If not, let me introduce you.

He likes to protest non-union workers at construction sites. I think he may do birthday parties on the weekends for extra cash.

You know what that mama bird ex will also miss out on? 3 1/2 year-old Dylan’s summer fashion preview… called ‘find a stylin’, fresh look right in your very own closet.’ That’s right. For example, after I got Dylan completely dressed this morning, she stripped down and reconfigured her outfit a bit.

Yes, the sleep sack/ sun hat combo is the IT thing this summer. Completely, blowing short shorts out of the water. And I’m sorry to be the one to tell you that short shorts are actually back. No, I’m definitely not going there either.

After we redressed Dylan, she added some winter accessories.

Speaking of that girl, Dylan graduated this week from her first year of preschool. This is a snapshot of her on the very first day, back in September…

And here she is on the last day…

Well, trust me, she smiled A LOT in between these two photos. But now she’s all grown up, a year of preschool under her belt, ready to head off into the world… what? Oh, right. Next week, she’s starting camp at the same preschool. And it’s pretty much the exact same schedule. So you can skip that fancy graduation card.

mama bird notes

My friend Lauren, a writer for BusinessWeek, has a great piece on working parents and illness. Check it out here.

Know anybody having a girl? This is the last chance to win a fabulous girlie baby bundle including…

the must-have book for any new mom, “Mama Knows Breast,” a beginners guide to breastfeeding by Andi Silverman, an adorable Marie Chantal onesie from Posh Squeaks, too sweet, polka dot pediped shoes and teething bling from Smart Mom (seen here).

To enter, just leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week and send a post to friend. We’ll have a baby boy giveaway next!

38 Responses to the defector

  • Jordana says:

    LOVE Dylan's outfit and also love that necklace. I think if I don't win I may have to buy one. Who cares that Lila has no teeth yet?

  • Turbokittykat says:

    What I think really sets off the first "look" is the bulb syringe. What that says to me is "Gotta boogy? I got yo' back!"

  • Jennifer H says:

    I love the before (pre-school) and after photos! Hilarious.

    Ah, the rat. Always a nice addition to a tree-lined city street.

    Also, I still can't believe the elephant penis wasn't just a freakish fifth leg.

  • brooke says:

    i love your blog, so id like to think that the person didnt unsubscribe–but is just going through some changes including their email address! im sure theyve already re-subscribed with their fancy new @whatever.com address.

  • kristen says:

    those rats…when i first moved to NYC, i thought those rats were exterminator companies way of advertising.

    i said to my husband who was my boyfriend at the time, "there sure are a lot of extermination companies in NY" and he still has a good laugh over that one.

  • Kimberly says:

    oh do i miss those rats..not many hee in the burbs…and have i mentioned how hard core josie is teething??? just saying;) can't wait to see you this weekend.. maybe dylan can give her little cuz some fashion advice (or maybe not:))

  • Angie says:

    Greetings from Charleston, SC! If you want some inspiration about how the word spreads… my husband was looking for an editor or something for his production company, somehow tripped across a guy who did some artwork for Jen Zobel Bieber, he sent me the link to her website because I am also a life coach and he thought her site was pretty cool (it is), and I subscribed to her newsletter. Jen promoted you in her newsletter, and I subscribed to the mama bird diaries, then passed the link on to my MOMS club. Crazy!! Don't let the unsubscribers bring you down. Although, I send out an e-newsletter once a month, and I'm always afraid to look to see if anyone has unsubscribed!! Keep it up… you're an inspiration (and a hilarious one at that). Angie

  • Memarie Lane says:

    I think Feedburner is more fickle than readers. According to them I'll lose ten readers one day and the next I'll gain 12. I really don't think that can be right, because I'm quite sure the majority of people are just plain too LAZY to unsubscribe. It's so much easier to "mark as read."

  • Erin says:

    That girl, Dylan, sure loves her winter accessories. Well, I don't blame her, they do look smashing on her. Hope she enjoys summer camp. Your defector is sure missing out!

  • Cathy says:

    That picture of Dylan crying on the first day of school is so funny. It's like–please don't have a nervous breakdown on your first day of school, because I don't need to have one either.

  • kelsey kleiman says:

    maybe you should brand Dylan into a store and she can start designing cool outfits for pre-schoolers (did you read the article about the "Russian Princess" in this month's New York?)

    Also, yes we know newborn baby girl. In fact we're off to see Dennis' sister Lauren who gave birth two days ago. They haven't named her yet! Will keep you posted.

  • wa says:

    Any subscriber who doesn't enjoy elephant penises and condoms isn't one you'd want around anyway. At least that's what the editors of Newsweek always tell each other.

  • Sally says:

    I've been a casual reader for months now. I will subscribe. Mostly because I love to read the blog. Moreover, to offset the 1 person downward trend in subscribers. Thanks for making this 40-something mama grin.

  • liz says:

    i don't know nothing 'bout no subscription stuffs…i'm the philistine at the blogging gate. i have to have these things spelled out quite plainly to me. i's dense like that! 🙂

    i love that pretty necklace and i'm due to have my baby girl any day between, well, TOMORROW and June 16th–am I too late to enter your giveaway?

    also: who can be frightened by talk of condoms and/or elephant penises? i mean, this IS the internet…

  • HeatherK says:

    I was confused at first. I thought….A rat's a$$?? Yeah, can't imagine walking out my door to that in the morning! Dylan and my 2yo would have a blast 'coordinating' outfits in the morning. I'm not allowed to put away the winter fleece hat/mittens as those seem to be the latest in Spring fashion this season. Isn't crazy how much they change in a school year?

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess W says:

    Maybe the person unsubscribed because I didn't 'expose' myself to them when they wanted to know, 'Who's Aunt Marcia'? Well, everyone needs one, picture a combination of Auntie Mame and Dr. Ruth.

  • Deb Ringold says:

    HI K…

    I've been one of your long time readers, but never posted a comment, so here I am. Amazing job on your blog. I love it and I laugh all the time at your delivery…I'm glad the rat moved from our temple on evesham rd. to your building…no offense. Although my kids loved waving to him every morning on the way to school. Also, Kelsey Kleiman, is this how I have to find out whats going on in your family? By reading Kelcey F's blog comments? WTF girl? Also, I love seeing the pix of the girls since you never come to see me when you're in the hill…(insert guilt here.) Love you all !! "Deb on the Hill"

  • Gabriella's mom says:

    I thought the big rat only lived in Boston, maybe he is a twin, for fun take a safety pin.and see what kind of noise it makes?

    Dont feel bad about your unsubscriber, she might've clicked on "hit here to unscribe" by accident or if she's one of my employees I made her do it because it violates company computer usage policy. Blame the employee handbook, that always works. But in that case she should be using her personal email and in that case it probably was the elephant's thingie.

  • Gabriella's mom says:

    PS: just read the great Business Week article by Lauren Young re Cancer in the Workplace, and more tribute to Mario, your playgroup (and nice plug for mamabird diaries too). Thank you.

  • Madmad says:

    OK, OK, you caught me; it was me. But you shouldn't be making fun of my swimsuit. Some of us really do need to be covered down to our knees!

  • Aimee says:

    OH THE RAT–what fond memories of my NYC days with that thing infront of my building! (glory days)

    Anyway…shame on anyone backing out of our blog–what the hell are they thinking?

  • Kim says:

    That dang rat is everywhere on Long Island too!!

    PS. I did not go anywhere.. and I am so nearing 104.. or so I feel.. 🙂

  • Jessi says:

    Just now back to the computer after 5 days away. I'm so sorry about your friend's husband. I never know what to say in moments like these. Makes me thank God everyday for what I have.

    condoms! LOL The things the kids would find in my drawer…maybe I better invest in a lock (or different place) before they ever look.

    The rat is beautiful…okay, so he's not. How long will he hang around? And, btw, I use the word stoked all of the time – I get funny looks from some people, but only those who don't understand the true meaning of the use of certain (important) words.

  • An unsubscriber?! It can't be true. If it's true, it must be a man. He was probably scared by the big, bad tampon. Such wimps, men.

    And now he's missing THE RAT?! Definitely his loss. You have the best sidewalk entertainment I've ever imagined.

  • shay says:

    That's one big ass rat! WE did find one almost (okay not quite) that big in the wall at Christmas…YUCK!!!

    And my 4 year old sported her red and pink striped baby hat with her swim suit to the creek today. Rock on you fashionistas!

    ps: who knew you could subscribe let alone Un-sub – wow!

kelcey kintner