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I now see that our trip to the ER on day one of Boca was just a hazing ritual to join this way cool Florida fraternity. Ricky and I are officially Pi Boca Psi’s and enjoying all the perks.

I haven’t had to wrestle my girls into puffy, down jackets in days. florida-boob-shirt.jpgThanks to my very energetic and loving in-laws, Ricky and I spent a night, sans kiddos, in Miami at the hipster retro Catalina. Despite that strange feeling that we’d mistakenly left our children somewhere (Did we leave them on the roof of the car? Doesn’t someone need dinner?), we relished some chill time alone.

And at long last, I’ve found the solution to small, post-nursing breasts. This tee is bodacious and classy. A combo that tends to be elusive. The eco friendly boob sweatshirt is on backorder but I know people in the industry if you are desperado.

So in South Beach, we went to a really yummy steak and fish place called Prime 112. I could not decide between the crab crusted grouper and the sea bass. So I immediately texted the Julie McCoy of Florida, Ms. Wendi (yes, with an “i”) Lipsich. She is the gal about town and she steered me to the grouper, which was delish. As for Ricky, he ate a piece of steak the size of my carry on luggage.

All was perfect EXCEPT for this brawny server that insisted on calling me ma’am, not once, but a WHOLE three times. So at the end of our meal, I wrote on the feedback card, “Great food. Great service. But no one over 30 likes to be called ma’am, including me.” Take that SIR. I am trying to wipe out this ma’am thing one person at a time. So futile.

florida-the-walker.jpgThis week, we’ve also had a chance to spend time with Ricky’s grandmother, the smart, funny, ultra cool Mom Mom Sylvia. Unfortunately, Mom Mom broke her hip recently and is temporarily living at a rehabilitation facility. 1 year-old Summer (far more gregarious than her reserved sister) put on a half-time show in the lobby with Mom Mom’s walker.

And I, too, was enjoying myself until a nurse, who noticed Summer crawling on the floor, said, “You might not want your baby on the floor. There are lots of staph infections and leaking catheters around here.”

OH MY GOD. How gross is that?! I’ve never even thought of combining these two words, “leaking catheters,” never mind saying them to another person. Lady, that is so nasty. I prefer to live in a world called DEE-Nial.

florida-singer-guy.jpgSummer wasn’t the only performer at this place. This guy had one smooth voice and blew away the crowds with comments like, “Ladies, yes, I’m single AND I can drive at night.” Where do I sign up sexy song boy? Don’t worry Mom Mom Sylvia, you will be out of there soon (even if Ricky and I have to smuggle you out ourselves).

Meanwhile, did you know that 12 year-olds are drinking coffee?! We were behind this pint-size girl at Starbucks and I HAD to ask how old she was. TWELVE. Turns out, she’s a regular customer. Her parents wait for her in the car. What?! So I’m thinking maybe it’s time for 3 year-old Dylan to start drinking espresso. She’ll love the buzz and she’s a big girl now. Speaking of Miss Delicious D, that girl is quite recovered from her trip to the ER. A follow-up visit to a Boca pediatrician, with a Jackie Mason accent and panda bear obsession, and she is back in action.

So unfortunately, it’s time to return to nyc where the temperatures are frigid and Ricky goes by plain ole Rick. But hell, at least I won’t have to worry about leaking catheters. I can’t leave you with that image. So instead, I’ll leave you with this one.


mama bird notes


It’s time for another mama bird giveaway and this is a rockin’ ride. One lucky birdie will win the stylin’ Mutsy Spider Stroller. Beautifully designed, light weight, folds easily and an amazing travel stroller. Best of all, it’s clean and new! No crushed raisins, cracker bits or ice scream stains.

To enter to win, you need to forward a mama bird post to a friend this week (girl’s honor, no spamming!) AND you must be subscribed. Not a subscriber?! It’s easy. Just enter your email address under the menu bar and follow the directions from there. Free, funny and fabulous. Really, what more is there? I’ll announce the lucky winner at the end of the week.

14 Responses to the boca rebound

  • wendi says:

    omg – you are hysterical! maybe because i've had two martinis or most likely because you speak the truth!! I am definitely setting up some blog signings next time you are in town – maybe at the rehab 🙂

  • pamela says:

    I absolutely loved what you called wendi!!!!omg!!!she's my best friend and smartest person i know!!!she is the one who turned me on to your hysterical diaries!!!!hope ya'll had a fabulous vacation!!!

  • Kimberly says:

    VERY funny! i hope this wasn't the guy who dropped his pants at the end of his performance??? if so, i bet a lot more people are walking around that rehab place these days!

  • No, no, no – I much prefer being called ma'am by waitstaff than being addressed as "you guys." My husband is threatening to confront the next waiter who does that with "That's no guy – that's my wife!"

  • Madmad says:

    Awwww. Nothin' better than a sleeping baby… though that shirt is coming in a close second! Think it would go over well at the next museum auction fundraiser? 'Cuz I'm thinkin'… hm… maybe with a belt?

  • Jennifer says:

    I love the comment you left for the waiter – perfect!

    But leaking catheters?? NOT PERFECT. Holy grossness.

    Sounds like a really fun trip though. I'd love to ditch the puffy jackets for a few days!

  • Jacki says:

    Ewww….leaking catheters and staph infections! Did you bathe him in antiseptic after that?

    But thank you for the adorable picture. And for stopping by my blog. I hope you come back!

  • Marie says:

    Well, since I just found out I'm having #3 I'll have to enter your contest.

    I agree on the ma'am thing, I will never forget the first time someone called me that. It was a bagger at the grocery store. If everyone just said "miss," even to the very old ladies, everyone would be happy.

  • magpie says:

    Ew – leaking catheters!

    We were visiting my mother in the hospital, and my child was on her knees watching the bed go up and down – fascinated. I was grossed out that her knees (in jeans) were on the floor.

  • Kristen says:

    The boob shirt is just too much! By no means to I claim to be a fashionable person but it is truly tasteless. About the leaky catheters and staph infections… gross. I had a friend who got a staph infection presumably from a pedicure (watch out for a cheap place that does not strerilize) and she could not get rid of it. It literally took months and many rounds of antibiotics. Gross gross and more gross! Thanks for making me laugh!

kelcey kintner