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With Dylan happily in camp (her early days of hiding under a table long forgotten), I decided to sign Summer up for a music class. You know, one of those 45 minute mini musical munchkin maestros classes or whatever the heck they’re called. Otherwise known as This-Money-Would-Be-Better-Spent-On-Coffee-And-Wine.

But in the pursuit of summer enrichment for my youngest daughter, I called to sign her up anyway and they instructed me to print out a form from their website and send it in with a check. And I was all like – a what?!

Where’s the Paypal button? Or if you want to do the retro thing, can’t you just take my credit card info over the phone? I seriously have to print a form AND write a check AND find a stamp AND an envelope AND mail it?! Do they want me to TEACH the class too?

Meanwhile, when I’m not being so obviously lazy, I might be totally crazy.

Because a friend recently gave me a small photo album from my bachelorette party. Yes, that bachelorette party from 7 years ago. Apparently, an album of me, my girlfriends and a male stripper can’t be rushed.

She was sort of upset over the photo borders she chose but I’m thinking that when there is a guy, with a leopard print banana hammock, in a photo – who’s noticing the borders you picked out?

Anyway, I decided to bring the album down to the basement so that my girls wouldn’t stumble on pictures of me with this other… um… gentleman.

And since I was going to the basement, I decided to throw in a load of laundry.

Except I inadvertently threw the album into the washing machine too. And then started it.

Please tell me you’ve done something like this.

Later on, I opened the washing machine to find my girls’ clothes covered in clumps of wet paper and about a gazillion pieces of stripper photos. Which I’m still picking off their clothes.

My apologies to my friend for destroying her carefully crafted album with the beautiful borders.

My apologies to Rex the stripper because he gave us his all that night (everything but the full monty) and he deserves better than to end up a soggy mess in my washing machine.

And my apologies again to Rex, because I’m pretty sure that wasn’t his actual name. But due to too many sake drinks that night, I can no longer recall.

28 Responses to that lazy, crazy lady

  • Abby Siegel says:

    Omg that is so funny! I have many pics from that night if you need them. The guy’s name was not Rex-i also can’t remember his name-but for a stripper he was cute!!!! That was a fun party.

  • Tamsin says:

    My sister washed a whole binder full of her son’s Pokemon cards. HUNDREDS of cards in plastic sleeves in a big 3 ring binder. They did not survive, and once her son found out, she nearly did not survive either.

  • Jennifer H says:

    I wouldn’t worry about the photos stuck to the clothes…unless the girls mysteriously start tucking dollar bills into their princess outfits. THEN you should worry. πŸ™‚

  • christy says:

    Oh I’ve totally done things like this – just recently I washed my husbands new phone. So we got him a new one. Then I washed that one. AND his wallet. argh.

  • Halala Mama says:

    OMG. Okay 1st. I can’t seem to pay a bill on time if it requires a check and/or stamp. Not gonna happen. and 2nd. I won’t even go there with what I have found in the washer, but stripper photos would have been more interesting!

  • mackbeth says:

    HIlarious! I have found a toothbrush in our fridge. My first year of preschool last year involved all kinds of check writing, I had to order a new box of checks! Does Prada still sell pretty check book covers? I love how you were just going to put it away, BUT had to put a load of laundry in first…a true mom!

  • Inna says:

    I actually like sending checks. I hate writing them though. I think its because I really like to receive snail-mail, so I always assume other people do too.

  • HaB says:

    You have to right checks for everything where I live. Can you believe one of our auto loan companies does not do bill pay? You HAVE to pay the old fashion way – and boy is it frustrating.

    On the other part about the photos – I rarely do laundry so I don’t think I have ever had that happen to me.

  • jean says:

    And I thought I was the only one who had days like that! lol…pretty funny.
    Why don’t I ever learn to take my cell phone out of my jeans back pocket before I sit down to pee?? I’ve already ruined one phone; I can’t afford to ruin another!

  • Cathy says:

    as a scrapbooker, I would be completely devastated if you threw my masterpiece in the washing machine. No, not really, πŸ™‚ 7 years–this gives me hope that i’ll eventually finish my baby books.

  • Suzie says:

    “Otherwise known as This-Money-Would-Be-Better-Spent-On-Coffee-And-Wine.”

    The quote of the year! Love it! πŸ™‚ Thanks for making me laugh. Glad you are settling into suburban life! See, it’s not so bad! Although I must say, I am a bit dissapointed that you washed Rex’s photos….

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    My gun (fully loaded with bullets) went into the PUBLIC washing machine that I use. My gun was where it always is kept; in my bed close to ME. I took all the flannel sheets off, rolled them into a ball and put them in my laundry basket. Never noticed how ‘heavy’ the load was; till things started ‘clanking’ in the machine during the wash cycle. My gun was retrieved; cleaner than before and I was thrilled to know it didn’t ‘go off’ while being washed; and shoot some poor guy doing a load of wash there also. Sorry ladies; but we all have guns here in California…and some other enlightened states who know ‘people kill people’…guns are neutral.

  • Kim says:

    Yep, I’ve done something just like that! If you put the clothes in the dryer for a little while, the clumps of paper, and fuzzies come right off! They end up in your fliter, but they come off! Well, at least you have your memories of good old Rex in the banana hammock!

  • JennyMac says:

    Rex’s subliminal messaging to destroy all evidence since he is now a politician. πŸ™‚ I have never done this but oh…there is plenty of time. Great post!

  • Karen says:

    Too funny! Not washed anything quite so damning, but have definitely have done it. It takes ages to get those bits of paper off the laundry too.

  • anymommy says:

    Countless tissues, money and, wait for it, my diamond earrings that my parents gave me when I graduated from law school (they were in a pocket). I cried buckets, one was lost forever.

    This post cracked me up. We’re doing that crazy music thing this summer too. Every time I go I think, I could do this at home and save the money for lattes.

  • Madge says:

    put my phone in the cup holder of the car where a paper cup had sat to long and water had leaked out so i submerged the phone. oh yes i did.

  • Rebecca M. says:

    Ok – my mom once washed an entire Costco size box of fabric softener sheets with a load of laundry. We couldn’t figure out why there were all these fuzzy scraps and brown bits all over the sheets. Then we realized my mom had swept the box of dryer sheets into the washer with the clothes from on top of the dryer.

    I couldn’t figure out for the life of me how my mom actually did this… until I washed a costco sized bottle of Downy with my towels. For real!

    The bottle had some how ended up inside the washer, and I threw in my sheets right on top and never noticed the bottle. We are all carbon copies of our mothers.

    God help us.

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kelcey kintner