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I remember a time when my husband (then the guy I thought was cute that I might date) listened to all the voice mails I left him and read all the emails I sent him. Probably multiple times because my voice was so angelic and my prose so uplifting.

It was this very complex process that worked like this… I would leave a message on his voice mail, he would listen to it and then call me back.  Apparently this is part of the courting period. The very same one where I pretended to like Chinese food and Les Misérables.

But then, “the guy I thought was cute that I might date” turned into my boyfriend and then into my husband and then I began to notice something.

I would leave a message on his voice mail, he would see a missed call, he would call me back and say, “Hey, what’s up?”

And I would respond, “Well, what you do think?”

And he would say, “About what?”

“About what I said on your voice mail.”

“Oh I didn’t listen to it. I figured it was easier to call you right back.”

“But I took the time to leave you a message because I wanted you to listen to it. Not so you could ignore it.”

“Why don’t you just tell me what’s up.”

“But I already did. ON YOUR VOICE MAIL.”

So after having that conversation 745 times, I stopped leaving him phone messages. I emailed him instead. Until this kind of thing started to happen…

I recently sent him a very thorough email with details and links and and lots of important information. Over the weekend I referred to this beautifully crafted email and he said, “I never got it.”

Except he did. I know because he wrote back, “Sounds great!”

Apparently, he was responding to the first sentence of the email and not the lengthy text that followed.

He never read the rest of the email. Or maybe even realized there was a rest of the email. Or whatever. And all too often my emails to my husband are ending up in cyberspace with no one to lovingly respond to them.

So now I just text. And he responds. It’s very gratifying.

That’s right. The future of our marital communication now depends on texting. And of course, those in person conversations. But those are usually interrupted by our 17 children and rigorous TV schedule. So really, texting is our only hope.

16 Responses to technology in the modern day marriage

  • HonestMum says:

    Oh no, I’m exactly like your husband. Hate listening to voicemail-what’s the point when you can just call right back. Sorry. I do love a text though. See, great minds and all that…

  • Marinka says:

    Wait a minute. A few years ago, I read a post on YOUR BLOG (yes, J’accuse!) that said you read in a magazine that young and beautiful people do not listen to voice mail messages and just call back the person whose number they see pop up. And that therefore it makes no sense to leave a voice mail message. I feel all sorts of betrayed now because after I read it, I stopped leaving voicemail. And aging.

  • Christina says:

    Wait, so you don’t like Chinese food?

    I’m with @HonestMum, I am one of those annoying people who won’t answer a call but if you text me say a microsecond later I will respond to that. I mean, it is extremely difficult to pick up a phone while I am slapping those frozen tater tots on a cookie sheet in an attempt to ensure my children are consuming nutritionally sound food.

  • Mexmom says:

    If I see a pattern here, would texting end up just as voicemail and e-mails in a cyberspace not read? what will the future hold for communications then?

  • Princess Judy says:

    One of my duties at work is to transfer employee’s long distance calls out since not all phones have long distance capabilities. If there is no answer they leave a message with their direct phone number. However, 99% of the time the person calls my number and asks why I called and of course I tell them I didn’t and to LISTEN TO THEIR DARN VOICE MAIL MESSAGE ANYWAY!!!!!

  • Sarah says:

    My husband doesn’t listen to anyone’s voice mails ever – his last phone’s inbox was full and I’m sure the new one is close. He rarely responds to texts I send him. He has never responded to an email I’ve sent (granted I stopped trying about midway through wedding planning when I realized I was getting zero response). If I try to talk to him in the morning before I leave for work he forgets it as soon as he falls back asleep.

    So I have to make sure he’s been awake for at least 30 minutes and doesn’t plan on falling back asleep, I’m talking to him verbally, and there’s nothing shiny around.

  • Angi says:

    It’s an epidemic. Mine doesn’t listen to voice messages. Neither does my brother. I’m sure my sons wouldn’t, either, if they were old to get them. We do text in the same house. We have 3 floors and there’s poor sound transfer from floor to floor. Not to mention that my husband spends an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom. I think he’s hiding from our sons in there. Maybe that’s what I need to do… anyway, I digress. Sometimes texting is the only way to reach him. I have texted him when he’s in the same room to remind him that I’m in the room with him and would like his attention.

  • Loretta says:

    I would copy and paste this post and send it to my husband so he would understand why I get so annoyed sometimes for the exact same reasons, but he wouldn’t read it. However, I have to try to remember, while I’m banging my head against the wall, to thank my lucky stars that he calls back when the cell phone “dings.”

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kelcey kintner