New York Mom|The Mama Bird Diaries

09 Oct

talk your way to a happy marriage!

I’m writing a book about how to have a successful marriage. Well, actually I’m not. But I figured you would take me more seriously if I was a soon to be published author. So just pretend.

Everyone knows that communication is one of the secrets of a successful marriage. And Rick and I are totally making that happen.

At about 7:50 this morning, I got home from the gym and as we rushed to get the girls ready for school I said to my husband…

“So what do you think about this situation in Afghanistan?”

“What?” he says a bit bleary eyed.

“I mean, it seems like a lose lose situation for Obama. If he sends 40,000 new troops, everyone calls it the next Vietnam. If he doesn’t, he’s soft on terrorism. Don’t you think? I mean, what is the guy supposed to do?”

“Why are we discussing Afghanistan right now? Don’t we have other things we should be talking about?” he asks.

I guess he gets enough Afghanistan analysis at his TV day job.

“What’s wrong with Afghanistan? What do you want to talk about? Health care? Gossip Girl? David Letterman’s libido?”

“How about the Phillies? They’re in the playoffs. Look, there’s Brad Lidge on the front page of the Times.”

“Yeah, well, that’s cool. Alright, I’m taking the girls to school.”

And thus ends, another successful morning of communicating. You should try this at home.

mama bird notes:

Having a baby can put serious stress on a marriage. Just ask contributing mama Erin Butler. So she is giving dating a try. Click on contributing mamas to read more.

I want to wish my sister Quinn a very happy 30th birthday today. If she wasn’t so cool and fabulous and divine, I would hate her for being so young. Happy Birthday girl. We love you! XO

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October 9, 2009 @ 12:22 am, by Kate Coveny Hood

I can’t think of one conversation I’ve had with my husband in the morning that didn’t start with one of his “have you seen my” questions.
October 9, 2009 @ 2:43 am, by Kathy

Morning conversation here usually are grunts and uh? followed by whats? Pushing each to get coffee first!
October 9, 2009 @ 2:54 am, by Stoneskin

We’re pretty good at communication too. How about you and I write a book together?

‘What did you think of the Cameron interview?’

‘Dunno’

‘You can’t not know, you watched it.’

‘Ssh’
October 9, 2009 @ 6:55 am, by KidSafe Mama

Blue Bunny Update:
This month’s delivery was Peanut Butter Panic – and it is wonderful! Thanks Kelcey for our monthly fix!
October 9, 2009 @ 7:04 am, by A Mom on Spin

There only one reason I would EVER have another child.

So I could name her Quinn!
October 9, 2009 @ 7:44 am, by Marinka

Happy birthday to Quinn!

And let’s not forget that silence is golden.
October 9, 2009 @ 8:04 am, by Terra

Communicating can be good, if it is what you want to talk about right? Too funny! and happy bday to your sis!
October 9, 2009 @ 8:28 am, by Wendi

Just play it safe and talk about bagels before 9 am
October 9, 2009 @ 8:37 am, by Crystal

You know, hubs and I don’t usually talk in the mornings…of course, that may be because he’s gone at 3AM to his job and I get to handle the kids all by myself…WITHOUT a cup of coffee! But yes, a book about marriage communication would come in handy!
October 9, 2009 @ 9:17 am, by christy

Good for you for getting to the gym so early! And we NEVER talk about anything other than ourselves and our baby first thing in the morning. Go Phillies!
October 9, 2009 @ 9:34 am, by Nicole Feliciano

We don’t attempt advanced conversations until the kids are in bed or via text msg. Have a great weekend.
October 9, 2009 @ 9:35 am, by MN Mama

We don’t talk about a lot in the morning but the other morning. If we do see each other we often talk about random stuff but nothing significant unless we talking Twins! Go Twins! Happy Birthday Quinn!
October 9, 2009 @ 9:50 am, by Quinn

I SO loved the Birthday shout-out. When you combine divine with 30 it doesn’t seem so bad.
October 9, 2009 @ 10:01 am, by Daphne

I’m impressed you’ve got that much chatter in the morning.
October 9, 2009 @ 10:55 am, by Jen

Ha ha, loved this post — made me laugh! Our first bleary-eyed discussion this AM was about the Nobel Peace Prize–Eric asked me to guess who won and my head is like fuzz, and I’m trying to guess and I’m like, I can’t even think right now!
October 9, 2009 @ 11:54 am, by Hip Mom's Guide

Nice! Gotta admit, I’m the one who’s brain isn’t working early in the day. I’m all “bah humbug” until much later, which, as you can imagine, doesn’t do much for the marital conversations.
October 9, 2009 @ 3:58 pm, by ShallowGal

I’m teaching a class in having a successful marriage.
October 9, 2009 @ 4:23 pm, by anna see

i’m impressed about the whole gym thing.

no one talks to me in the morning before i’ve had my special k.
October 9, 2009 @ 5:03 pm, by Oz

Our morning conversations consist of, “Bye honey,” as my husband heads out the door at 6 am, followed by “SHHHH don’t wake the baby!” The baby sleeps next to our bed. I would say, “Shhh don’t wake the wife” but that just seems a little rude.
October 9, 2009 @ 5:05 pm, by suburbancorrespondent

Last year I became a newshound (I blame the election). Larry got really tired of my coming to bed and chattering on and on about Obama, Palin, McCain, campaign strategy, electoral votes, etc. Not an aphrodisiac, I guess…

But I haven’t been able to shake the habit. Now I’ll start discussing Obama’s options in Afghanistan, Holbrooke’s qualifications, my impressions of the job Clinton is doing, the latest Palin tidbit, you name it – I’ll talk about it. Poor Larry, this is not the girl he married.
October 9, 2009 @ 7:56 pm, by Domestic Goddess (in training)

I find communication between my husband and myself is always best when it involves a sex act and a chore. For example I say “Mark, do those dishes and I’ll give you a blow job.” And he says… nothing because he is too busy doing the dishes.
October 9, 2009 @ 8:45 pm, by Chris

When we TRY to communicate, it sounds similar to your conversation. Funny!
October 9, 2009 @ 9:48 pm, by Merrily

At least you get answers! I yap and yap and there’s no reply at all – no reply at all…
October 9, 2009 @ 10:15 pm, by Ann

This is my one complaint about you. You’re constant need to discuss foreign policy.

I want those strawberry shortcake dolls back.
October 10, 2009 @ 12:53 am, by jessica

I’m sorry, I’m still stuck on the part about how you got HOME from the gym at 7:50 in the MORNING
October 10, 2009 @ 3:40 am, by Diu

I keep want to start this comment with ‘good’ or ‘nice’ or ‘great’ but none of these seems strong enough, or appropriate enough for what you just posted.Just fantastic and mindblowing blog keep it up..!!!
October 10, 2009 @ 2:44 pm, by Nap Warden

Every morning, Husband and I sit down and dissect the paper. Does that mean we’re communicating?
October 11, 2009 @ 12:42 pm, by anymommy

This is very familiar. I think it may have been overheard at our house.
October 11, 2009 @ 9:22 pm, by Denise

We have very similar intense conversations in my household (Haha)…
October 13, 2009 @ 4:39 pm, by LT

I find that talking about the Phillies (but not during a game) helps. Great post!

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