You know what gives me stress? When I’m stuck at a doctor’s appointment on the Upper East Side and I realize that there is no way I can possibly be back downtown by 11 am even though my babysitter absolutely, positively must leave by then.
Oh and it’s freakin’ St. Patrick’s Day. And all 8 million New York City residents are suddenly Irish and celebrating which means traffic is maddening.
Look, I love the concept. Wear a green sweatsuit, drink green beer, unleash green puke on your friends and raise holy hell in the streets of Manhattan. But it just makes it a bitch to get downtown when there’s a parade in my way.
So I’m in the waiting room hyperventilating about who is going to watch Summer (Dylan is at school) in my absence. I make a few calls to friends in the neighborhood but no one seems to be around.
I call Rick at work who of course can’t help me but I like to burden him with my troubles. Once he’s sufficiently stressed out about the situation, I tell him I have to go.
I actually consider whether our super friendly and slightly irritating doorman could temporarily take care of a 2 year-old because opening doors for us and helping with our luggage and caulking our bathroom is sort of the precursor to taking caring of a small child, right?
Then I talk to my friend Jen whose husband Eric happens to be at home. He’s a great dad. So I call him.
“Hi Eric. It’s Kelcey. Dylan and Summer’s mom. Jen said you might be willing to take Summer for like a half hour? Is that ok? I’ll get there as soon as I can.”
“Yeah, sure. No problem.”
“Thank you so much. Oh by the way, she’s DEFINITELY going to cry. Just let her watch Sesame Street and give her sugar and carbs. That’s your best hope.”
We hang up. I call back immediately.
“Hi Eric. It’s Kelcey again. Umm… do you have any cash on you?”
“Yeah, I do.”
“I hate to do this but when my sitter drops Summer off, could you give her $48 bucks and I’ll pay you back?”
When pawning your kid off on some poor, unsuspecting guy…. always ask him for money too.
This guy is seriously a dream.
Turns out, Summer does cry. I know because I call from the car and can hear her sobbing in the background. Her St. Patrick’s Day is totally sucking.
But things quickly turn around for her. Because Eric the Savior gives her chocolate cake to calm her down.
And obviously, any day with cake just can’t suck that much.
mama bird notes:
For NYC area mamas… I’m giving away 4 tickets to the Broadway show SHREK THE MUSICAL, the story of a swamp-dwelling ogre who goes on a life changing adventure. It’s part romance and part twisted fairy tale.
To enter, just leave a comment on the mama bird diaries and mention anyone you dated in the past who resembled a swamp-dwelling ogre. Ok, fine. Just mention SHREK THE MUSICAL.