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I have one of those hacking coughs right now.

The kind where people stare at me on the street and are either…

A) Panicked because they think I am choking and are contemplating whether they have time to save me because they’re already late for a 2 pm blow-out appointment at their hair salon so they can look extra sassy for the holidays or…

B) They curse me because they think I am spreading some kind of nasty, dangerous virus or…

C) They judge me because I  absolutely must have a 2 pack a day cigarette habit to sound this horrendous.

There’s a lot of phlegm involved with this cough. It’s super sexy. Just ask my husband. He mentioned that I coughed in his face last night. Look, if he can’t recognize a little foreplay, his loss.

So despite this cough and the crazy cold weather here in New York, I headed out this weekend to get a pedicure. And then I walked home in the freezing hail in my flip flops.


Yeah my toes were cold. But it’s so much better than ruining a perfectly good pedicure.

That color is black onyx.

The guy next to me at the nail place was getting the very same color. That’s how life usually rolls in the West Village.

Anyway, it’s been so darn cold the last couple days, that I’ve actually been going out like this…


How ridiculous and dorky do I look? As I get older, I’m getting closer and closer to that pilly ski hat a certain relative of mine always likes to wear when the temperature drops.

Mom, you know I would never out you or your fashion choices on this blog.

Anyway, my dumb winter hat kind of makes me long for the days of the summer visor.


When I looked just as dorky, but I was so much warmer.

But I am gratefully headed for warmer weather tomorrow. We are flying to Memphis for the holiday.  You can bet my Jewish husband never thought he’d one day be celebrating Christmas in Tennessee. He’s just praying for some tasty southern BBQ.

I can’t wait to show everyone my black onyx toes.

And if I don’t see you at Graceland, Happy Christmas to all.

mama bird notes
These days contributing mama Karen Palmer Bland is trying to explain to her kids why Santa won’t be stopping at their Jewish home this holiday season. To read more of this hilarious post, click on contributing mamas.

32 Responses to super cold toes

  • Terra says:

    I get that same cough…had it so bad once I had to get my ribs xrayed (doc thought I broke one I was in so much pain from coughing) – my biggest ICK about that cough is that since children, well lets just say I often sit on the potty to cough. 

    HANG IN THERE and Happy Holidays.

  • Kristin says:

    I came home today in flip flops too – no hail though, just some crazy cold toes!  I like the Black Onyx – maybe next pedicure.  Enjoy the warmer weather!

  • calikim says:

    Wow…I am impressed I can Now chose to bold or italicize my comment!!! So I think I will!!!!

    But back to the point. Nice toes, the color makes you look like a vampire, but is awesome at the same time. AND…I wear that hat to bed these days. Okay, not that hat, but Not 1, BUT 3 knit beanies. Its THAT cold. Thank God or Jehovah in Rick’s case I am in bed alone! So NOT a turn on!!!

  • Robin says:

    Christmas in Memphis – is that a song?  Well, it should be. Chanukah in Memphis might be even better!
    Have a great one, love to the family and happy New Year!!

  • kristen says:

    safe travels my friend. i do the same thing with the pedi- a girl can’t have skeevy toes, especially in memphis.

    i was looking for a hat like yours yesterday – instead i picked up a sweet skull cap with a flower (very flapper-ish) that i loved and my girl laughed at when i got home.  clearly, i’m already in parent-dork stage, esp. because i thought it was cute.

    happy holidays! xo

  • Marinka says:

    So, did your mother yell at you for going out with bare feet? That is a big no-no.  
    I hope that you’re feeling better.  I always fall into judgmental camp#2–fear that the cougher is spreading the plague.

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Is Dylan really so attached to that doll she sleeps with and carrys around with her all day?  Do you think she’ll want a real baby when she figures out at 11 she can have one? 

  • ErinB says:

    oooh i want a pedi now!!!!….all this damn holiday baking had gotten in the way. spreading cheer is just so fricken time consuming! 
    Oh I would totally take a day where a visor would win over monster fluffy hat :-}
    I too am excited about the posting options now….do you like the way I underlined all my text…yeah I am pretty sure you are now going to remove this feature from the comment page
    Have a safe trip and Merry Christmas!!!

  • Rhea says:

    That hat is something alright. lol  What kind of dead animal is that on top?!  hehe

    You could be naked under that coat, for all I know.

    And those toes are awesome.  I need a pedicure…I want a royal blue or purple.

  • jessica Bern says:

    OMG – I remember those days when I lived there. I also recognized the park you’re in with your snazzy visor and adorable kid.  God, I miss NY so much. That being said, I would be happy to stop by for some BBQ- my favorite. 

  • Jacki says:

    I would have done the same thing with the flip flops.  I don’t worry about freezing for fashions’ sake.

    Merry Christmas to you and your adorable family!

  • Auntie T says:

    Merry Christmas and Happy Chanukah! I tried calling at least 3 of you on cells, if you check this tonight, I’m up.
    Love to you all! Have Fun!

  • Karen says:

    Hope you’re feeling better.  Love the sassy toes though!  I just had to redo mine myself — it’s suddenly 80 degrees again here in Florida and I need to put my flip flips on too!

  • Pearl says:

    Ugh, my husband has that hacking cough right now.  I made him sleep on the couch last night, I’m not kidding, poor guy. Hey, you know what they say… if mama aint happy…

  • wendi says:

    lol – you are hysterical, and as you can see i’m catching up on your blog.  Love that color and besides being extremely witty, you have fabulous toes!

kelcey kintner