I have one of those hacking coughs right now.
The kind where people stare at me on the street and are either…
A) Panicked because they think I am choking and are contemplating whether they have time to save me because they’re already late for a 2 pm blow-out appointment at their hair salon so they can look extra sassy for the holidays or…
B) They curse me because they think I am spreading some kind of nasty, dangerous virus or…
C) They judge me because I absolutely must have a 2 pack a day cigarette habit to sound this horrendous.
There’s a lot of phlegm involved with this cough. It’s super sexy. Just ask my husband. He mentioned that I coughed in his face last night. Look, if he can’t recognize a little foreplay, his loss.
So despite this cough and the crazy cold weather here in New York, I headed out this weekend to get a pedicure. And then I walked home in the freezing hail in my flip flops.
Yeah my toes were cold. But it’s so much better than ruining a perfectly good pedicure.
That color is black onyx.
The guy next to me at the nail place was getting the very same color. That’s how life usually rolls in the West Village.
Anyway, it’s been so darn cold the last couple days, that I’ve actually been going out like this…
How ridiculous and dorky do I look? As I get older, I’m getting closer and closer to that pilly ski hat a certain relative of mine always likes to wear when the temperature drops.
Mom, you know I would never out you or your fashion choices on this blog.
Anyway, my dumb winter hat kind of makes me long for the days of the summer visor.
When I looked just as dorky, but I was so much warmer.
But I am gratefully headed for warmer weather tomorrow. We are flying to Memphis for the holiday. You can bet my Jewish husband never thought he’d one day be celebrating Christmas in Tennessee. He’s just praying for some tasty southern BBQ.
I can’t wait to show everyone my black onyx toes.
And if I don’t see you at Graceland, Happy Christmas to all.
mama bird notes
These days contributing mama Karen Palmer Bland is trying to explain to her kids why Santa won’t be stopping at their Jewish home this holiday season. To read more of this hilarious post, click on contributing mamas.