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You know what happens when you try to get a few minutes of extra sleep in the morning?

You walk into your children’s room and find your 4 1/2 year-old attempting to change your 2 1/2 year-old’s diaper by lathering on an enormous amount of diaper creme.

Except it’s NOT diaper creme. It’s actually SPF 30 sunscreen.

Which is a slight but important distinction.

So you decide that you’ll start waking up a little earlier you’ll teach your 4 1/2 year-old the difference between the words “diaper creme” and “sunscreen.”

There are many different ways that a love of reading can be born.

After diaper creme and sunscreen had been applied to the right locations, the doorbell rings.

I look outside and there is a teenage boy standing there. I assume he’s there to tell me I’ve been awarded “Cutest New Neighbor” or “Best Westchester Mom.” I’m an optimist like that.

But no, he’s here to sell me some eco-friendly cleaning solution.

I immediately feel sorry for this kid because who the hell wants to knock on people’s doors and hock detergent (earth friendly or not).

And then he literally tastes some of the cleaning spray to prove to me that it’s natural.

So now I’m ready to toss a few dollars his way – at least so he can go eat something that doesn’t make your hardwood floors shine. But then he tells me the price for a bottle of this stuff.

$48 bucks.

But it’s concentrated. So it lasts 3 years.

Dude, I like a different nail polish color every 2 weeks (Sure, they are all different shades of brown and maroon but still….). There is no way I’m using one kind of cleaning spray for 3 years.

So I politely tell him no but I feel guilt ridden like I probably just killed his dreams of going to college.

And then he’s off to swallow more cleaning solution for some of my neighbors.

P.S. My husband just read this post and told me he would have absolutely bought the detergent. Now I feel even worse. I gotta go track that kid down.

mama bird notes:

I recently told you about a 5 year-old boy in NYC, Kai Anderson, who has a rare form of leukemia and desperately needs a match for a bone marrow transplant. And unbelievably, his father has been diagnosed with cancer as well.

If you are a blogger, would you please please please consider putting this Hope for Kai button on your sidebar. Here’s the code:

<a href=http://www.hopeforkai.com>
<img border=”0″ src=”http://www.mamabirddiaries.com/images/banner.jpg”>

And would everyone please make sure you’re registered as a bone marrow donor. It’s so easy.  Click here and find out how you can attend a donor drive or order a self test kit. I would be so grateful.

promom t-shirtAnd finally, summer giveaway on The Mouthy Housewives! And you thought you only could find hilarious, spot-on advice there.

Just click here to enter to win a cool summer tank from Promom Couture It’s super cute and now I want it too.

31 Responses to summer jobs can really suck

  • Abby Siegel says:

    Um, hello? When I see you this week I will leave you some business cards and brochures, so when my future clients come to your door and you are worries abt killing their college dreams you can give them my info. College counselor needs teenagers please!

  • Nancy Walton says:

    Just wanted you to know again, how much I enjoy your posts, Kelcey. This little daily or several times weekly view into your world and today’s post with the request at the end for the 5-year old who has leukemia; it’s all just perfect. Although I’m always a little uncomfortable when people say “thanks for your radio show” or “thanks for playing my request” because I think, why should I be thanked for doing the thing that lifts my heart and energizes me, I want to thank you for doing what you do. You always enlighten – and brighten – my day.

  • christy says:

    I wouldn’t have bought it either and your husband is so nice to say he would have!

    The diaper cream and suntan lotion switcharoo is too funny!!

  • Cathy says:

    we had someone from Tru Green come to our door to sell us chemical lawn care. We turned him down and he looked at us like we’re insane–oh well.

  • Inna says:

    I wouldn’t have bought it. I love the chemically/fresh smell of the stuff you can’t eat. If you could eat it, then it might start being a problem for me.

  • johanna says:

    I never open the door. I don’t want to have to make some excuse why I can’t possible buy their junk or convert to their religion. Plus, I’m a super skeptical person (growing up with a dad who was a cop you really learn to trust no one!) so just don’t want to waste my time knowing they are probably snowballing me!

  • ErinB says:

    a few more months in the burbs and you will get stronger and be able to repell those door to door people without blinking an eye…you just need more practice. :-} I only answer if they have thin mints in their hands!!!

  • hokgardner says:

    We put a very nice engraved, brass “No Soliciting” sign next to our front door. Doesn’t work at all. People ignore it completely and then when we point to it, they say “Oh! I didn’t see that. But can I tell you about xxx anyway?”

    I wouldn’t have bought the stuff either.

  • Bubbie says:

    I can’t believe Rick would have bought it, where did I go wrong? Loved this post, laughed out loud. Looks like suburbia has given you lots of great material. Bubbie

  • Kara says:

    One perk of having a full-time job…not dealing with door-to-door salesmen. I knew there was something to be glad about having to work. Thanks for helping me find it!

  • KidSafe Mama says:

    Hi Thoroughly agree with Johanna.
    Don’t even answer the door.
    You wont have to make excuses, nor waste your time (or theirs), spend money you had no intention of spending in the first place, and heck, you might even be saving your own life.
    Of course, if there are thin mints involved, the door gets opened.

  • wendi says:

    I just caught up with your last month in suburbia bliss – I am so happy for all of you. Now if only we could get you to move to Boca – I promise it would make for great material, and people don’t make anything, they just bring you bottles 🙂

  • SoMi's Nilsa says:

    To make *concentrated* last 5 years, you’ve gotta be diligent about using only 1/2 capful or whatever they tell you to use. Me? I’m pouring half the bottle for each use, so *concentrated* means nothing to me. hahaha.

  • Kate says:

    oh and the only people who ring our bell are jehovah’s witnesses selling kids. who only speak spanish. guess that’s the difference between westchester and jersey city. hm.

  • Elisa says:

    oh man, I must be mean too, because no way I would have bought a $48 bottle of detergent.

    You’re in Westchester now? Let me know if you ever want to meet at the park – it seems all I do these days is take the girls to the playground. I’ll bring the diaper cream 😉

  • Cara says:

    I don’t answer the door anymore. I just don’t have the heart to keep telling these people no. I need to get one of those “No Solicitors” signs. I think I’m now officially one of those crazy old ladies.

  • Betsy says:

    He, or one like him, was at my door awhile back. My boy only licked the spray bottle straw. I did not buy it either. Anything that removes Sharpie and can quench your thirst seems all together wrong.

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kelcey kintner