Spice Up Your Inbox. Subscribe Today.

enter your email address:

blog advertising is good for you


So with only one day left until the world ends, I figured you would want to know my take on everything important. Obviously, our time is limited, so let’s get started…

1. Arnold Schwarzenegger had a love child with his housekeeper. Of course, I immediately thought, “Why do women keep sleeping with Arnold when he is so freaky looking?” And then I thought, “Wait, maybe Rick has a love child with our housekeeper?!!” But then I thankfully realized that we don’t have a housekeeper. Finally an upside to being understaffed.  And if Rick had a 5th child, he would be on a beach in Trinidad, drinking vodka martinis and starting a new life as a Caribbean dance instructor.

2. Speaking of the Caribbean.. there is a new “Pirates of the Caribbean” sequel. The 4th one. Really?! I never saw that coming. Hasn’t Jack Sparrow run out of eyeliner yet?

3. A movie you should see… “Bridesmaids.” This movie is awesome. If you think a bride pooping in the middle of the street in her wedding dress is funny. Which I kind of do. I only regret that I didn’t wear a bridesmaid dress to the theater. It might not be too late for you.

4. “American Idol” spoiler coming up… I’m serious. Stop reading. Here it comes. I can’t believe Haley Reinhart got kicked off.  She is SO TALENTED. Okay, fine. I don’t watch the show. I have no idea who she is but Rick was watching and he said things like… “Oh no!! That’s crazy!”  So I’m outraged too.

5. After watching bits and pieces of “Justin Beiber: Never Say Never,” which seems to be on a never ending video loop in our house, my husband is now genuinely upset that he did not get the chance to become a teen pop star. I promised him that Justin Bieber is just as upset that he’s not a Fox News Channel TV anchor.

6. And that brings us to Katie Couric who signed off for the last time this week as the anchor of the CBS evening news. I love Katie and I think she should take her buckets of money, go back to “The Today Show” and save us all from Ann Curry.

7. I don’t care that “Oprah” is ending. Please don’t tell anyone.

8. Ashton Kutcher has officially replaced Charlie Sheen on “Two and a Half Men.” He’s definitely hotter but I can’t imagine it will make this show any better.  You can’t convince me otherwise. I actually saw “No Strings Attached.” Please don’t tell anyone that either.

9. I am loving this season of “Friday Night Lights” although now I’m upset that my daughter Dylan is going to leave me, go to college and have an affair with a married man. I know she’s six.

10. My new favorite show is “Happy Endings” which is a sharp, frenetic, well written comedy. I also like “Mad Love” with Jason Biggs but it just got canceled. Takes me right back to the tearful moment I heard “Gary Unmarried” was finished. Even now, I still feel the sting whenever anyone mentions Jay Mohr.

P.S. I really am kidding about “Gary Unmarried.” I stopped watching that dumb show way before it got canceled.

P.P.S. Okay, maybe just a couple episodes before it got canceled.

P.P.P.S. I’d start a letter writing campaign to save “Mad Love” but only two of the characters are actually funny, plus I’m still exhausted from helping save “Party of Five.”

25 Responses to stuff you should know before the end of the world

  • Stasha says:

    Did Mr. Camping predict any of your 10 important things before the end? Nope, did not think so. He keeps focusing on the little things, like the world and the end.

  • amourningmom says:

    I will check out Happy Endings – I think I already like it just based on the title. Happy Friday! xoxo

    P.S. If the world is ending I hope that neither of us is in a bridesmaids dress.

  • Becky says:

    craaaap….Mad Love got cancelled?? I liked Mad Love too, mostly because the un-couple (Connie and Larry) who were best friends of Ben and whats-her-name were funny. I will have to check out Happy Endings. If I like it, I am sure it will get cancelled, too. Cuz that’s what happens when I see a show I like.

  • Jen says:

    I love Mad Love! I’m so bummed that it got cancelled. I will definitely help you out on a campaign to bring it back. Larry is hilarious.

  • This is like the final episode of Seinfeld, you’re airing all your dirty laundry and then all is going to be fine. And then you’ll be my friend who watched No Strings Attached.

    (I did, too. If the world ends. If it doesn’t, I would never watch that piece of shit.)

  • anna says:

    thinking with that tv line-up perhaps the end of the world isn’t all bad – at least will be the inspiration for some great new shows next season!

  • tracey says:

    Damn. I forgot that the world is ending tomorrow. Do we have an ETA of the rapture? Because we have a black tie event tomorrow and I want to be sure to get as much out of it as possible.

  • Fordeville says:

    Save us from Ann Curry is right. How she landed Meredith’s job can only be attributed to pity or blackmail. Because she can’t read the news — and that should tip them off that something’s amiss in her career path.
    Happy Rapture Day. Hope you have a good Last Snack lined up.

  • erinb says:

    I hope the world isnt ending cuz I am still waiting for nbc to return my lipstick I sent them as part of the Save “Lipstick Jungle” campaign…and yeah since the show never returned I am pretty sure I am the only one who participated.

  • emily says:

    It’s okay, I get five more months on earth. Only the non-sinners get to go this time. And didn’t they cancel Friday night lights too?

  • Oh, no! I realized my husband has had kids with the housekeeper . . . because that would be me.

    And to celebrate on the Eve of The End Of the World, I will be eating copious amounts of pizza and chocolate ice cream while my husband is enjoying his last golf outing.

  • Becky says:

    Wait! You don’t have an opinion of the season finale of 90210???? Please you are the only other adult I know that watches it! I am kind of peeved that the world is going to end tomorrow and we won’t find out what happens to Naomi!

  • We’ll driving down the east coast on Saturday. I hope the traffic won’t suddenly start veering off the road. Maybe I should only drive near people with Hooter’s bumper stickers?

  • jacqui says:

    This is a really funny last post before the end of the world. Unfortunately, the world didn’t end. You should definitely try again at the end of the world next year…the Mayans can’t be wrong too, can they?

kelcey kintner