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I got a card in the mail the other day. A real card. Like not one you virtually open on your computer. But one you open with your ACTUAL HANDS. It was insane.

I have a couple friends who still send real cards. Every time I get one, I think, “I love this. I’m totally doing this. I’m going to buy some cards, write witty things in them and then send them.”

And then I never think about it again.

Until I get another card.

So the other day, I am opening this card from a college friend, basking in the warmth of a long friendship, when my wisdom teeth fall out of the envelope.

Can you imagine if I just ended the post right there?

Here I’ll show you the card. Not the teeth.

wine is the answer

Okay, now I’ll explain about the teeth thing. When I was about 19 or 20, I had to have my wisdom teeth pulled out over the summer so I thought it would be hilarious to mail them to one of my college roommates. (Now you can understand why people line up to be my friend.)

Of course, she truly appreciated this thoughtful and touching gift. So much so that she made sure to secretly return them to me at some point. And well, we have been passing these teeth back and forth for a whole bunch of years.

With marriages and children and work and responsibilities – I didn’t really know what happened to the teeth. I hadn’t thought about them in a long time.

So there was something really reassuring about receiving these ancient, sort of disgusting relics, in the mail. Like no matter what happened in life – my old teeth were still out there – like a bond of friendship.

My point is – get out there and send some teeth to your closest friends! Okay, don’t do that. But maybe send them cards.

So what did I do with the teeth? I finally tossed them. Because some traditions are just really gross.

Okay, did my friend stop reading this?  Because of course I didn’t throw out those magical teeth!! I’m just plotting on how to get them back to her. I can’t wait to think of something good.

10 Responses to sometimes the bonds of friendship can be a little… gross

  • Sweet!!! this is the best story I’ve heard in a long time. Funny thing is I have a teeth theme this week too… I was cleaning out a shelf in our closet and my little jewelry box fell to the floor and all these little teeth went flying everywhere! Then I started thinking how weird I was for keeping all my kids teeth (but only about a 1/3 had any notes/dates/owners info with them) and what the heck was I going to do with all these little teeth?!? Can I have your friends address? 😉

  • Marley C. says:

    Hilarious! A college friend and I had this pair of overstretched scrunchy socks (it was the early 90’s) and we have found ways to give them back to each other for years.

  • Daphne says:

    phew – my heart practically stopped with the thought of you callously tossing out our bond that way. kind of wishing we had kept Dave’s rotten appendix too…there is so much practical use for body parts.

  • MRH says:

    Hahaha. My dad does this with a really tacky pillow with his cousin. It’s bulky to pack on trips, but worth the surprise. I had so hoped to do it with a tickle-me-Elmo for my brother, but a) my kids like it (Aaah!), and b) he moved overseas. So yeah, I can tell you the whole moving to another country thing would really kill the teeth exchange thing!!!

  • Susan says:

    I love this! I have a mason jar with assorted pins, paper clips…and teeth! Also my jewelry box has teeth in there too! My three kids teeth actually. And no idea who owns what! I’ve often thought “what happens if my house burns, and the investigators find all these random teeth?” LOL

    • Crystal says:

      I’ve always hoped nothing would happen to where I’d have to explain WHY I have so many teeth in my jewelry box – SO glad I’m not the only one?

  • Mary Clare says:

    Hilarious! My dad and uncles passed an ugly tie back and forth at the holidays. Just when everyone had forgotten about it, it would resurface. Teeth, though, brings it to a new level!

  • Ann says:

    This is hilarious and disgusting and now I wish I’d included more than holiday wishes in my New Years card to you. DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT SENDING ME YOUR FINGERNAIL CLIPPINGS YOU FREAK.

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kelcey kintner