My 3 1/2 year old daughter Dylan is nutty when it… Oh, sorry, hold on. I need to shut off the air conditioner. It’s on high and I’m freezing my tush off in here. Dylan likes to turn it on and shrieks when I start muttering about winter, goosebumps, energy bills and the environment. Maybe she is going through menopause. Too young, right? I thought so.

So anyway, she is a bit loopy when it comes to clothing. Her fave activity right now is wearing 14 month-old Summer’s clothes. Yesterday, on top of her own outfit, Dylan wore 4 additional layers, all size 12 – 18 months. Um, I think I’m starting to understand why she wants the air on.

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Poor Summer. Not only does she get ALL hand-me-downs. But now she can’t even WEAR them.

Of course, Dylan becomes completely frustrated trying to get the tiny frocks on her body. And arguments like, “But honey, these are clothes for a 1 year-old. They don’t fit. That’s why it’s hard to get them on!” seem to have absolutely no merit.

So she grunts and pulls and squeezes her way into the miniature clothing, one layer at a time. And of course, she cries when we have to peel it all off for bath time.

Night time is the same. Because I have this paranoia about Summer using a real blanket (suffocation hazard or something), she sleeps in these blanket sacks. Tell me I’m not the only crazy one who does this. I just zip her up and she’s tucked in for the night. It’s like a little fleece sandwich bag for babies, with openings for the arms and everything.

But for the past few nights, Dylan has taken to wearing Summer’s sleep sacks.

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Try taking a 3 1/2 year-old to the potty wearing one of these. Really. It’s ridiculous.

Speaking of getting up, Rick took Dylan to the potty around 4 am last night. He waits a little bit, then asks if she’s finished because at 4 am he’s dying to get back in bed. Twice, he asks. Finally Dylan says, “Daddy, sometimes it takes a while to go poopy.”

Hard to argue with that.

So I’ve been surfing around the internet and have learned that there are quite a number of very organized moms like this one and this one planning a weekly family dinner menu. With recipes. Damn. That’s so impressive. Apparently that’s what they’re doing while I’m trying on old prom dresses.

In case, you thought that perhaps I mapped out the week’s meals, here’s a picture of my daughter pretending to order from the sushi menu.

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Hmm… I guess she’s seen me do that a few times.

Oh and have I mentioned that ALL Summer says is Elmo now. Really. All day. Elmo. Elmo. Elmo. Elmo. See, that got annoying and I only typed it four times.

She likes to find that crazy redhead with the matted hair in books and point him out to me. I nod my head and say, “Oh that’s Elmo. Thanks, hon. I wasn’t sure exactly who he was. But now he looks familiar.”

And if I happen to even walk anywhere near our tv set, she starts clapping madly with excitement and shouting for him, thinking she’s about to get her fix. What is it about that guy? Cute? Yes. Rock star legend? I just don’t see it. I guess I’m not in his demographic.

But I’m so zen these days. I simply won’t stress for one moment that my toddler is wearing baby clothes, my baby is crazy obsessed with a caffeinated muppet and I haven’t the slightest idea what I’m feeding them tomorrow.

Finally, because many of you asked, Brad Pitt is well, um, pretty average.

mama bird notes

Leave it to our beauty gal Alex to find an organic skincare line that comes with its own eco friendly packaging. Click on drooling over this to read more.

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An adorable “Made With Love” Footie Pajamas by Marie Chantal. $60 value. Beautifully made with the finest pima cotton fabric. Provided by the luxurious Posh Squeaks baby boutique.

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The First Year Frame by Pottery Barn Kids. This beautiful wooden frame lets you you capture every detail, month by month, of that amazing first year. $44

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To enter this mama bird giveaway, you must be subscribed (just enter your email address below the menu bar and follow the directions from there or subscribe in a reader) and leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week. No pressure to be extra sassy and smart. You can write, “I want free stuff.” Good luck. I’ll announce the winner at the end of the week.

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