1. When you go out as a couple to restaurants, the waiter smiles at your husband and says, “It’s so nice that you take your mother out for dinner.”
2. Your preschooler asks why your neck looks like an owl’s nest. This same child has never noticed that daddy has a neck resembling anything bird related.
3. Your spouse does not seem to acquire wrinkles no matter how stressed out you try to make him.
4. You look more like Michael Douglas. He looks more like Catherine Zeta-Jones.
5. You will drop money on face creams that blast wrinkles! And defy age! Your spouse hasn’t used face cream since — well, ever.
6. You’re constantly avoiding florescent lights and searching for dim lighting situations. He has never once thought about lighting except for that time you were both looking at different options for recessed lighting for your family room and he passed out from a combination of fatigue and boredom.
7. He has never taken a bad driver’s license photo. Even when he was hungover. After 4 days at Mardi Gras.
8. His grey hairs look like glistening highlights that magnify his handsomeness. Yours look like grey hairs.
9. At carnivals, they can never guess his age. He has a carny trophy shelf of stuffed animals to prove it. You no longer frequent carnivals.
10. A neighbor compliments you on being named Cougar of the Cul-de-sac despite the fact that your spouse is older than you.
mama bird notes:
What REALLY is the secret to the fountain of youth? Liking the Mama Bird Diaries on Facebook of course! Please do it today. Click here.
Is your baby overworked and exhausted? Maybe he or she needs a spa visit! Check out my piece on Lifetime Moms.