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I watched the ice dancers do no jumps and wear outfits that even my preschoolers would turn down.

I watched 53 McDonald’s commercials and truly attempted to work its Olympic champion sweet chili sauce into every meal.

I watched the beautiful and inspiring Canadian Joannie Rochette somehow win the bronze in ice skating after the devastating death of her mother.

I watched the American men win gold in the Nordic Combined for the first time ever yet still,  I could not explain Nordic Combined if you offered me a year of free babysitting. Ditto for curling.

I watched the aerialists somehow defy gravity, doing crazy stunts in the air as their mothers cheered them on. I would be begging my child to take on another sport. Like curling.

I watched Apollo Anton Ono try to bring back the bandana for the third Olympics in a row. You can’t say the guy doesn’t have perseverance. And if he and Bret Michaels can’t do it, then we all have to accept that no one can.

I listened to the announcers say things like, “That one mistake is going to haunt him forever” and “That was the performance of her life” and my personally fave, “He left it all on the ice” 432 times each.

I watched Dick Button as a commentator and really tried to imagine him as a svelte figure skater in 1948. I think I failed.

I watched skier Julia Mancuso prove that even Olympic champions wear tiaras.

I loved the Olympics.

But I have never been so happy to see the closing ceremonies. Because I am tired, people. And cranky. Apparently the Olympics was on for 2 weeks. Can we all agree that it was more like 2 months?

I need my life back. I no longer want to be up at midnight, teary-eyed over a medal ceremony. I want “Gossip Girl,” “Project Way” and “Modern Family.”  I no longer wish to be inspired by television, but only somewhat entertained. I want to sit on my couch and not second guess my decision as a kid to hang out with my friends in the local pizza place after school instead of pursuing Olympic dreams at the ice rink. I just want to be mediocre. And happy.

So let me off the hook for 880 days. And then I’ll embrace the summer games in London. Because who doesn’t love the Brits and gymnastics?  It’ll be bloody brilliant.

18 Responses to see ya vancouver!

  • scrappysue says:

    17 days. that’s 2 weeks and three days. a long time to be sittin on your sofa hearing all those cliches! i personally like the highlights package to music – i feel like i’ve seen all i need to now!!!

  • abby says:

    Kelc, this was my favorite post ever. Maybe because it is how I’m also feeling right now, but it is funny, witty, and so true!!!! But the skating commentary is something I will miss! Sooo funny and overly dramatic!

  • Becky says:

    Couldn’t agree more! Sadly the first NON Olympic thing I watch on NBC was that horrendous Marriage Ref. Can’t wait to see your post on that one. Kelly Ripa more funny than Seinfeld!? The world has turned upside down.

  • Peta says:

    Seriously – WHAT does that spicy sweet sauce have to do with the Olympics? 537 commericial later I still can’t figure that one out! And the only curling I can understand is the curl of my dogs tail…..TGOO! (Thank God the Olympics are Over!)

  • Nancy Walton says:

    Yes, two weeks is waaaaay too long for this programming hog of television entertainment. Im glad the US won a whole lot of gold and that at the end of every team event there were hand shakes and pats on the back from the winners and not-as-good-as-gold winners so everyone goes home knowing they did their best. Now you’ll get your “Gossip Girl”, “Project Way” and “Modern Family” back and I’ll get my “Ed Shultz Show”, “Countdown” and “Rachel Maddow Show” back in their regular time slots on MSNBC. No matter what shows we’re each hooked on, a week of sacrifice is enough, two weeks is too many!

  • Yep. You basically summed up my feelings on the subject, with added entertainment value, as always. 😉

    And I DO look forward to the summer games. I love gymnastics and track & field. Much more so than skiing and hockey. And um. CURLING? Ugh.

  • ErinB says:

    you are so funny pregnant in the burbs…me-I miss my tv shows. Jim and Pam would have had their baby on the OFFICE a month ago if it wasnt for these crazy athletes. And I am tired of facebook status updates detailing every moment of a hockey game. but otherwise the olympics is lovely :-}

  • Oz says:

    I tried to pursue my Olympic dreams at the ice rink. By 15, I knew it wasn’t going to happen, so I gave it all up for friends and pizza. And you know what? Pizza is pretty awesome.

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess \whose?) says:

    Surely as a tribute to the Olympics you’re naming the twins Bodie and Picabo Folbaum. Can we get some belly shots? Due date? Some NEWS????

  • ella says:

    I am proud to say I didn’t watch one single minute of the Olympics for just these very reasons…I can’t get yanked around emotinally like that! And the comercials…OMG.
    So I’ve been away for a while adn am happy to visit again and see you’re doing so well 🙂

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kelcey kintner