Ryan Gosling is expecting a baby with Eva Mendes! As I mentioned on Twitter and why aren’t you following me on Twitter, this seriously complicates my future imaginary relationship with him.
I’m thinking that maybe he doesn’t see all the benefits of being with me….
(Honestly, it’s like we are twins.)
So here are some things for Ryan Gosling to mull over before he commits to a future with Eva…
I might not have that sexy Latin vibe but I do have that waspy tennis vibe.
I already have a husband so when Ryan’s away on his fancy movie shoots, I won’t be lonely!
Eva might be in movies but I go to movies! (Oh crap, I don’t even do that.)
Mendes is on Maxim’s Hot 100 and she’s has been named as one of People’s Most Beautiful at Every Age. I, on the other hand, won a high school typing award in the 80’s. I don’t mention it all that often because I don’t like to intimidate you all.
Eva was born in Miami. And I live in the Miami area which is not better at all so delete that one.
He likes older women. Eva is only 40. He can do older!! I am older!!
Like all the women he has dated… Sandra Bullock, Rachel McAdams, Eva Mendes… I am a brunette. I mean, I could be. Give me 20 minutes and a box of L’Oreal Paris.
Yes, Eva’s now 7 months pregnant with his baby but I have been pregnant for a total of 36 months in my life so 36 is more than 7… so there.
Okay, I think I’ve proven that I am a worthy contender. Ryan, I’m waiting for your decision. Our imaginary future depends on it.