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Mar
07
2012

I’ve noticed something around this house. Rick and I are equal co-parents except for one little caveat.

He’s the king and I’m more of a lowly royal assistant.

Especially when it comes to my 21-month-old twins. They like me well enough. Well, Chase definitely loves me. Like a faithful Labrador, he runs to greet and hug me at all times. Whether I’ve been gone 22 seconds or 3 hours.

And Harlowe? Let’s just say she’s quite fond of me. We share a love of whitefish salad and Trader Joe’s chicken cilantro wontons and that alone sustains our relationship.

But Rick. Oh my god. They can not get enough of that guy. Rick happens to be off on Mondays (he works Saturdays) so together we take the twins to a morning class. A perfect opportunity for us to each have a twin in our laps and blissfully share a bonding moment as a family.Β  EXCEPT Chase and Harlowe want nothing and I mean, nothing, to do with me.

They both crawl all over Rick, demanding his constant attention while I sit back and try to determine whether I’m supposed to sing these dumb kid songs if I’m not technically with any children. I ultimately decided to draw the line at shaking maracas. It’s sad and desperate to shake alone.

A part of me enjoys the respite from the mad high impact energy of twins. But the other side of me wants to turn to Chase and Harlowe and say…

“Hey twinsies, do you remember when I used to sleep two hours, feed and change you for an hour, sleep two more hours, feed you again, repeat, repeat, repeat? ALL NIGHT LONG. I was so tired that I felt like I had been in a car accident every day.Β  Remember how I looked like sh*t because I couldn’t even summon up the energy to order a new lip gloss or concealer online, never mind go get my highlights done.Β  And have you seen my stomach lately? I need abdominal hernia surgery and a tummy tuck. That’s all you guys. So please give me at least a little respect when fun awesome dad is around. You don’t have to fawn all over me. But maybe just a nod in my direction. Just something to say, ‘Hey mom, we salute you. Is that too much to ask?!”

But mostly I’m thinking I might stop going to the class and just go get a bagel and read my New York Post. If they let lowly royal servants do that type of thing.

Photo Courtesy of This Day Photography


25 Responses to rick is king. i am not.

  • Ah, this is my husband’s reality. I’ve been traveling A LOT more for work and our twins (two in December) are all over me when I’m home. Josiah won’t let my husband take him out of his car seat. Arielle says, “NO. Mommy.” It makes Lee, who slaves away as a stay-at-home-dad, feel like crap. Both babies are cramming themselves into my lap and he’s left abandoned. And I feel horrible that they miss me so much that they’re responding like this, something I’ve never felt before.

    Thanks for sharing. I wish I had soemthing meaningful to say but – honestly – it sucks when kids are traitors when you’ve been a devoted slave to their needs! πŸ™‚ I know it hurts my husband’s feelings and he’d like to shout, “HEY! Where was Mommy when you were screaming at 3 am last night?”

    The pic is lovely and you’re a fabulous mom even if Rick’s their rockstar dad! I’ll send my husband here to commiserate.

  • Elissa says:

    Same thing here. My husband works long hours all week and doesn’t see the kids, and as soon as the weekend rolls around my kids only want their daddy. Frankly, I love it! I get some time to read, check facebook, etc. Woo hoo!

  • Shanna says:

    Great post! And great pic of the King and his admirers! You rock, Kelcey! Those twins may not appreciate it yet- but the rest of us do!

  • bimmebeaux says:

    I am not even a royal servant. I am a lowly sherpa. I drive my daughter back and forth from Las Vegas to Pasadena to visit my parents. Once we get there, my daughter runs off with them and I am forgotten, left to unload the car (see, sherpa!). And when we are fixin’ to leave, I pack the car (again, sherpa!) while they play with her for the last sweet minutes. And then I haul her royal highness back home, while she watches the video of her choice and eats the snacks lovingly packed by her grandmother (I, on the other hand, have a used plastic water bottle missing a top).

  • Honest Mum says:

    Totally relate to this. We are the ones who carry, struggle, feed and care for the child most of the time and they’re the fun one who shows up on an evening and weekend for all the good stuff. I say take leave, go spoil yourself in that time, read your papers, get your hair done and make up for lost time!

  • Brownowltwins says:

    I see you’re in the same predicament as me, which is the role of Cinderella, yet with no ball, fairy Godmother, or fancy gown waiting for you at the end of the day.

  • beachgirl says:

    Well he is very cute πŸ™‚ I would surrender to the bagel and paper and let them fawn all over his hotness while you get some well deserved peace and quiet!

  • Maggie says:

    Unfortunately; “familiarity breeds contempt” and “absence makes the heart grow fonder”

    Go for the bagel let the King wrangle two for a bit and don’t see it as a rejection of you; but instead your twins are so confident of your love them for them that they need no reassurance.

  • Tonya says:

    Being King always means there’s a chance of a revolution.

    Also, mos def get that bagel and NY Post. Or, rather, bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter cups and US Weekly!!

  • Laurie says:

    Sigh. For a couple of years, I was pretty sure that my daughter couldn’t remember my name. I simply ceased to exist in the presence of Daddy. I was sure she thought to herself…”Whose that? Hmmm…yes! The woman who lives with Daddy.”

    Of course, that’s changed a bit now that she’s older and some of the girly things she’s interested in are outside Daddy’s frame of refernce. I knew my make-up/shoe hobbies would come in handy some day. πŸ™‚

  • Kara says:

    Don’t just settle for a bagel. You’ve got to think bigger! There must be far more luxurious ways to enjoy your weekly free hour.

  • Mary Clare says:

    The whims of babies! I have been dissed by my loving kids for their dad’s company, too! Unfortunately, it seems *I* alone am the one who they need between 9pm and 7am. Such a privledge!

  • Lindsay says:

    People keep telling me, “Oh, it’s just a phase! They’ll be all about Mommy before long and Daddy will be but a memory.” I’m calling b.s. right now. My two boys (3 and 16 mos) want NOTHING to do with me when Daddy is around. Now, I agree, he’s awesome. But REALLY? The long nights, the bellythatwillneverrecoverwithoutsurgery, and the perma-tired…all for nothing, apparently. Sigh.

  • bimmebeaux says:

    Since I am a single mama, I don’t really face this dilemma. But my poor mom does. When my daughter and I go to my parents’ house, my mom plans all kinds of wonderful activities for her, spends endless hours entertaining her, cooking for her, and doing other amazing things (God bless her!). But who gets the crazy squeal when he descends the stairs from his office? Yup, my dad. It’s a universal truth. Or put another way, as my friend’s husband said to her about their daughter who so clearly favors him, “I’ve got my kid, go get your own.”

  • Valerie says:

    My twins do the exact same thing. If my hubby is around it’s always, “daddy do it” and I know that if my hubby could do a class like that during the week it would go the exact same way. So, I’d go the route of coffee and a bagel and enjoy the peace.

    Oh, and don’t feel bad, I could use the hernia repair and tummy tuck as well. I still get asked daily if I’m pregnant. And dear, I’ve seen pictures on here, at least your issue isn’t noticeable!


kelcey kintner


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