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Oct
05
2008

I really did learn something new this week.

No, no… not during the VP debate.

No, no… not during my first kindergarten tour which I promptly forgot about and never attended. Scratch that school off the potential schools list.

No, no… not during MSNBC’s Morning Joe. By the way, Jessica Ryan was really the only one who jumped on the Joe Scarborough hunky bandwagon with me. Although Calikim at least gave me a lukewarm “sort of hot.” But I’m thinking Calikim just sort of pitied me for my pathetic crush.

Hmm… maybe you all don’t consider morning news an aphrodisiac?

Anyway, here’s what I learned…

It really IS possible to step in your own kid’s poop.

Yup.

Right there at the playground, Miss Summer needed to be changed. Just a routine diaper changing on a park bench. Nothing out of the ordinary there. Except somehow, during the changing process, some of what I’d just carefully cleaned up, slipped out from the diaper and onto the rubberized turf.

I did not notice.

And then I inadvertently stepped in it.

I STILL did not notice.

And then I mashed my foot into it again.

At which point, my husband pointed out what was going on.

Crap.

Seriously, crap all over my cute shoe.

And earlier that morning 4 year-old Dylan told me that she likes to eat everything she finds on her face… sleepies in the corner of her eyes, snot from her nose, pretty much anything she can hunt down between her forehead and her chin.

So let me understand this exactly – the kid won’t touch a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  But eye crust?   Mmmm. How insanely, ridiculously gross.

The unexpected bonus?  The Biden/Palin debate doesn’t seem so hard to stomach after all.

mama bird notes:

Contributing mama Karen Palmer Bland is starting to feel sort of, kind of, well, old. She wonders what happened to her plan to be a YOUNG mom. Click on “contributing mamas” to read more.

Are you a freak about sunscreen? Me too. Check out the new Bethesda sunscreen soap. Cool idea, practical and smells delish. Click on “drooling over this” to read more.

Contributing mama Jordana Bales is the winner of the Fresh Direct giveaway worth $50. Yahoo Jordana! Yahoo Fresh Direct! Yahoo free groceries!


37 Responses to read at least 15 minutes after eating

  • Bitsy says:

    I’ve been saying for a long time that Mike Rowe needs to film an episode of Dirty Jobs with a mother of young children. Poop, pee, boogers, vomit, dirt, mud, blood, if you have boys dead animals, etc, etc. Scarborough is cute, but Mike Rowe is hot.

  • calikim says:

    Thanks for the shout out!! (that’s what we call them in the radio biz). And in my defense….he’s cute, but your own personally news hottie is SOOO much cuter. So I think you win!!

    Oh, and I must chime in on Mike Rowe. TOTALLY HOT!!! We used to work in the same building when he was doing a local SF show, and he was always in the bar across the street. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to go up and talk to him and flirt…but I didn’t. Maybe because I am shy…and then there is that 15 year or so age difference. But I still say he is HOT, and totally hilarious! In fact, I’m going to GRUMPY’s right now to go look for him.

  • Portia says:

    ROFLMAO!!! You never cease to make me roar with laughter…even after a shitty shift in the ER….I love this blog!!

  • mayberry says:

    Yes, what Valerie said … on the plus side, you were not barefoot. Then again, sometimes skin is easier to wash than cute shoes.

    Bitsy, that is a genius idea.

  • Stephanie says:

    Very funny! I agree with the other ladies…at least you had shoes on, right? Being a mom has so many unexpected moments which I love.

  • ErinB says:

    I am getting more curious about Joe…might actually have to tune in.
    Otherwise…maybe Dylan is hinting that she would like you to spice up her meals or something? that and the poop…very gross. I am glad I read this one wayyyyy past dinner time.

  • LaskiGal says:

    Seriously, there is nothing better than a really good POO story.

    The worst thing is how J is still obsessed w/ his nether regions. Which makes diaper changing one heck of a messy adventure.

    It is so automatic. Diaper off and WOOOOOOSSSSH. Hand heads straight south.

    Poo, pee, doesn’t matter . . . Geesh.

  • Julie says:

    I was just thinking the exact same thing about Ella yesterday. She picked her nose and ate her boogies. I thought this girl won’t eat any fruit or veggie, but she will easily down her boogies. Something is wrong!

  • Mama Bee says:

    I vomited in my mouth a little right then! I really should’ve heeded the warning to not read while eating!

    And I officially will begin wearing galoshes when changing Bee’s diapers…

  • Cathy says:

    Very funny. I’ve probably stepped in one of my kids’ poop, but have blocked it out of my memory. Just yesterday James told me he liked to eat his boogers. Great.

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Stepping in it isn’t as bad as eating it. Yes, 60 years ago women had cloth diapers on babies. Pretty loose fitting. My Little Sister pooped in her diaper, in her crib. When my mom went inside to check on her, the poop had fallen out of diaper, and my sister was eating a turd. I told my entire Kindergarten Class about it at Show & Tell, and never let my sister forget about it. She doesn’t speak with me anymore….too much poop in her diet??

  • Auntie Mame says:

    I think the contest was fixed; Jordana has a strong connection to the Head Mamabird. We all know $50 worth of free groceries in NYC means 2 bananas, 1/2 head cabbage, 9 grapes and a box of toothpicks. Enjoy…

  • Jessica Ryan says:

    I just had the BEST morning and wanted to share it with you. I met a really good friend of mine at Starbucks. We haven’t seen each other in eons. While sipping my Pumkpin Spice Latte (1%– I had to cut back something) we talked, OK we GUSHED over Mister Morning Joe! AND Donnie Deutch! 😉 He’s pretty cute in an out of the box kind of way!

  • Loni says:

    Haha, I have def stepped in my kids poop. However we werent quite sure if it was the kid or the cat. After a quick sniff test, the cat was ruled out. What was even funnier was when my kid slipped in his pee on the floor. That should teach him to use the potty right?

  • tracey says:

    My oh My! You’ve certainly had a busy day, haven’t you? Celeb conversations, eye crusties and poopy shoes! Makes you all giddy with excitement over what tomorrow will hold, doesn’t it?

  • Betsy says:

    Two thoughts:
    1 you have cute shoes and kids. Things cannot be that bad.
    2 Have you considered smearing foods you want Dylan to eat on her face? (Almost anything to get kids to try new foods, right?)


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