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Thanks to all of you, I can now scratch baby urinal off my list of things to buy before these twins come.

Although Erin did have this recommendation…

“TOTALLY install that urinal and when he’s older you can put in one of those coin-operated condom machines.” You see, if I didn’t have a blog, how would I get this kind of brilliant, awesome feedback?

I did have a doctor’s appointment yesterday and I asked her, “Is there anything I should be worried about right now?” I was thinking maybe I should be concerned about the movement of the babies or staying off my feet.

And the doctor responded,

“Money. So you can put these kids through college.”

I promised her that I was already on that “worry about money thing.”

I got really upset with Rick this week because he was in a rush and went to a full serve gas station instead of a cheaper self serve one. As if that 3 or 4 dollars means our children will now just skip college and make a meager living as the co-presidents of the Justin Beiber fan club.Β  And by that time, Bieber will be wearing a toupee that combs forward on the sides, instead of whatever it is he has going on now.

Meanwhile, I was talking to my friend Jodi about how much we love those BabyCenter updates on your child’s development, because they are always so on the mark. It’s as if these BabyCenter folks are secretly camped out in your house, listening to your toddler say vagina 45 times at breakfast and then quickly typing up an update, “How To Put an End To Potty Talk at the Dining Table” and it arrives in your inbox that very day.

And these updates seem to never stop. First you get the in utero ones, then the baby ones, then the toddler and then the big kid ones. How long do they go on?

At some point, I’ll be getting the update, “Your oldest daughter is now 17. She is no longer talking to you and is stealing Stoli Orange from the liquor cabinet. We can’t help you with that but here are some tricks to encourage her to break up with her tattooed boyfriend who just got picked up for running a dog fighting ring.”

And I can’t wait for the update, “Your twins are now 25. They should no longer be living at home. Kick them out and take that long delayed trip with your husband to Australia. You both really deserve it.”

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kelcey kintner