You didn’t see the Academy Awards?! You had something better to do with 5 hours of your life?
Well, no matter. You can still interject yourself seamlessly into post Oscar banter at the office or the playground. Here are your official Academy talking points:
Brad and Angelina think they are ACTUAL royalty… you know, like the British monarchy kind. And Mr. and Mrs. Majesty could not be bothered to take part in plebeian Red Carpet rituals.
Sean Penn (who won “Best Actor”) never bothered to thank his wife, Robin Wright Penn, during his acceptance speech. Not really a brilliant move since this couple was recently on the brink of divorce. I think Sean and his Oscar may soon be seeing each other exclusively.
My husband tragically stumbled in the “Best Actor” category, incorrectly picking Mickey Rourke. Rick feels a great deal of shame about this misstep and knows he needs to commit more time to watching the E network and less time on those tedious news shows.
I adore Sarah Jessica Parker but really didn’t like her hair. Something about the middle part or the big curls. I asked Rick for his opinion. But he was too transfixed by her breasts to actually hear me.
Lovebirds Alicia Keys and Zac Efron are rumored to now be ring shopping. Or maybe they just presented together at the Oscars. I don’t recall the actual details.
Obviously, the big winner of Oscar night was….
With on and off again boyfriend John Mayer showing up and the Brangelina beauty wonder twins both losing, it was obviously her night to sparkle.
Oh and I think that “Slumdog Millionaire” flick did pretty ok too.