I am praying that my kids are never Olympians.
Because who needs that stress or humiliation.
It’s not about waking up at 4 am to take them to the rink, the pool or the track because hello, there are taxi cabs for that sort of thing. Obviously.
It’s that part where you watch your kid during the competition.
That is gymnast John Orozco’s mother while he performs. The poor woman is tortured. Although that’s no excuse to wear a flag as a hair accoutrement.
Most of these parents look like junkies who are about to pass out and throw up. Have you seen Gymnast Aly Raisman’s parents? OMG. And you know, I don’t use OMG lightly. It’s not that kind of blog.
NBC keeps taking the clip off YouTube but you can see it here on Gawker. PLEASE watch all 56 seconds because it’s really worth it.
Because of this parental anguish, I’ve been encouraging my kids to be strictly mediocre in all sports and competitions.
Despite this request, they both came home with medals from their camp Olympics.
7-year-old Dylan was awarded one for “throwing.” Damn, that means she could be a future javelin thrower.
5-year-old Summer won one for “sitting and watching.”
At least Summer is on board with my plan.
mama bird notes:
This post was sponsored by ToySplash, the Olympian of pool toys and accessories.
ToySplash has everything from in-pool patio sets (yes, IN the pool) to pool archery games to dog swim vests. Yes, I said everything.
22 Responses to please don’t let my babies grow up to be olympic champions
kelcey kintner
I am so glad you did this post. My husband and I saw that clip of Aly Raisman’s parents yesterday and it’s painful to watch. I am praying to have the same mediocre underachieving children you’re hoping for. Her parents look miserable!
Congratulations to Dylan and Summer on their medals – are their videos of you and Rick watching the events? xo
When I try to watch the video it says the Olympic committee has blocked it due to copywrite! I’m dying to see it and can’t find it on the web.
Kelcey Reply:
August 1st, 2012 at 8:23 am
Go here Kristina… http://gawker.com/5930003/
How funny — we had exactly the same conversation yesterday watching the parents cringe in the stands!
They call them the “mads” – mum and dads of Olympics, and they are great fun to watch…and they are a bit mad!
That in pool patio set is to die for! Well, if I had a pool and all.
I feel the parents’ pain but don’t know whether to laugh or cry! Thanks for posting.
Poor Aly…you know her parents are a future SNL skit. A well deserved OMG.
Can’t you just imagine Aly’s mother as a birth coach?? I think we have our SNL sketch.
We got two golds!!! Le Clos is in my son’s school!!! How awesome is trthat??
I can totatlly see Kristen Wiig playing her on SNL.
That video is PRICELESS.
Kristen Wiig is going to return to SNL just to do the skit of Aly’s parents. Love them.
The best was the Raismans yelling “STICK IT!!!!” So gymnastics!!! I’m just still tormented by Debbie Phelps’ plastic black and white jewelry. YUCK.
Who wants that anguish anyway so I think Summer is on the right track.
That video is priceless. But I believe mom may have dropped the “f” bomb and it was edited out. If I’m reading lips correctly.
LOL. That was uncomfortable to watch. Am I the only one who really felt like it looked like they were trying really hard to suppress a fart?
Laura Reply:
August 3rd, 2012 at 7:59 pm
The mom especially looks like a different person when you see her doing a regular interview or something; I actually think she looks like a meth addict and at least 10 years older while her daughter is competing. There’s something weird about the awkward twist of her mouth, right?
stick it! Stick it! Haha! Those parents are hysterical.
Sitting and watching should be an Olympic sport. I might even medal.
Ha! My kids would totally get a medal in throwing. They could specialize in throws to the face.