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Because Dylan feels it’s her moral obligation to point out gross inequities in the world, she recently notified me that we only have ONE pink ponytail holder. This would force either Summer or herself to use a ponytail holder of a far inferior and completely revolting color like blue or green or red.

I immediately grasped the gravity of the situation and took Dylan to the drugstore to buy more pink ponytail holders. I believe in throwing money at a problem, particularly when by “money” I mean “$1.69.”

So Dylan picks out the new hairbands (a multitude of colors including precious pink ones, adorned with sparkly plastic gems so it’s pretty much a miraculous blessing from God).  We are standing in line to pay for the new hair accessories, when I see Dylan licking the hairbands.

I notice this because I’m extremely perceptive and also because it’s hard to not notice a child licking merchandise at Duane Reade.

“Dylan, please stop licking those! We haven’t even paid for them. That’s icky,” I say.

I take the hairbands, attempt to wipe them off and hand them to the cashier. I’m realizing for the first time in all my years of shopping that unintended contact with foreign saliva is a downside to being a cashier.

After paying, I hand the hairbands back to Dylan who immediately resumes licking them.

“Dylan! I told you to stop that! They’re not clean.”

And she replies, “No, you just told me that we had to pay for them first.”

My thinking is that pink hairbands are just so magical, they must taste like fresh, sweet, irresistible cotton candy.

My husband is thinking he’s completely grossed out by this whole post.


51 Responses to pinkalicious hair

  • Jill says:

    Oh boy – hairbands – my daughter’s FAVORITE items.   My 4 year old wears them and changes them several times a day.  Now she doesn’t lick them… but she sure does put them in her mouth every chance she gets.  Yuk!

  • Abby Siegel says:

    Ew they taste gross. Not that I’ve licked any recently, but I remember one time..when I was little…they hurt my hair now, why would I lick them? BTW if you don’t write a post about the Real Housewives of NJ I will kill you. I’m watching the preview and it’s HILARIOUS. Esp. since our SILs, who we LOVE, are both Jersey Girls.

  • calikim says:

    Yes, Gross!! And I see she is still wearing her pajamas out in public. Today we have purple Dora the Explorer….which will go GREAT with her new Pink ponytail holders,

  • Jennifer H says:

    What’s so gross, really? I’m sure only kids touch those particular hair bands. And sweet, angelic kids don’t carry germs around on their hands. Ever.

    Yeah, I’d stock up on Motrin and Triaminic and maybe penicillin.

  • Jessica says:

    Kelcey, I just saw the piece on GMA and found it utterly fascinating. My book club just finished reading a book called Still Alice in which the main character is diagnosed with early-onset alzheimers… moving, touching and disturbing we all agreed that this was the best book we have read in a long while… one of our discussions was about genetic testing and whether you would want to know if you were predisposed to the disease (or any disease). We 
     unanimously decided that it really depended where we were in life. If we were single and young, not so much, but older and with children, or older and pregnant, absolutely. We saw it not so much as a death threat but being able to take the knowledge of the diagnosis to actually improve the quality of life. It’s fascinating stuff, isn’t it?!

  • Maybe she was just marking her territory?  *lol*  I don’t know how else to explain this.  Although, thinking back, I probably would have done something similar if it meant keeping my little sister away from my hair stuff.

  • Pseudo says:

    My mom once yelled at me for resting my chin on the fishing pier.  What she actually said was, “why don’t you just go ahead and lick it while you’re that close.”

  • E says:

    Made in China=potentially poisonous.  That is the rule in our house.  Ergo, no licking them.  My poor kids think if you buy any cheap consumer goods from China you can instantly die from lead poisoning.

  • Nap Warden says:

    Riddle me this Riddler…Miss Peach insists on having hair bands (no, she doesn’t lick them) she refuses to wear them. What’s the deal there? Is she a collector?

  • The Mom Bomb says:

    That girl’s a genius. She’s come up with the latest bestseller: The Hair Band Diet. Think of the pounds you’d shed if you just licked a hair band whenever you had the urge to eat.

  • Jen says:

    I’ve caught both my kids licking stuff. Kinda funny and typical of kids to want to do this even though we hate it. I remember tasting a mudpie in my friend’s backyard and thinking “now why wouldn’t i want to taste this!” oooyyy. Happy Passover and Happy Easter!

  • kristina says:

    Speaking from the ‘cashier-who’s-ringing-up-an-item-already-wrapped-in-saliva’ perspective, all I have to say is LOL as well – it’s really no biggie!  From the business perspective, I’d have to report that the kids-licking-stuff trend is definitely still strong in ’09! As  a person, I’d have to say I wholeheartedly agree w/ Auds and can see the logic in the “If I lick it, it is mine” thought process, and hey – its better than puke, which can lead to a ‘Stand By Me’ pie-eating contest scenario!  Finally, as a lady,  who doesn’t love a  hair accessory, especially a pretty pink one?  I can’t wait to share this w/ everybody in the store!

  • Diane says:

    Man, I would be happy to have just one child that would allow me to do a cute hairdo complete with all the darling hair accessories. Shoot, I’d be happy if they wouldn’t cry bloody murder while I was just trying to gently brush their hair. So what if they lick the package? It’s all about building up that immunity.

  • Janna says:

    You’re lucky she licks hairbands which you can take away.  Abby’s been licking/sucking her fingers which is gross & I can’t take those away!

  • MommyTime says:

    Bwahahahaha! This is hilarious. We (and by we, I mean my 3 yr old daughter) are so enamored of all things pink in our house that licking them to express proper appreciation is part of our (and by our, I mean her) vocabulary as well.  So, while I don’t really get it, I have been exactly where you are. I send sympathy.  And virtual disinfectant. 🙂

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Wait till Dylan sees Ava in her new sparkly hair ‘thingies’ I’m bringing in from San Francisco in June…she’ll really want to eat them off her head.  And because in S.F. we’re closer to China; they’re only $1…so Ava will have a lifetime supply of  “Sparklys”  for her eating enjoyment.  She might share…if Dylan asks nicely. 

  • Terra says:

    I adore Summer and Dylan and the wit that ensues from their little brains…she was right you didn’t say dirty.  But I also have to say EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

    While at the same time my lovely 3 year old is trying to eat her hair – now that is equally as gross clean or not.

  • Lyndsay says:

    That is spectacular; totally something my 3 year old would engage in.  For the record, I feel compelled to affirm that there is nothing wrong with throwing money at a problem.  Right?  Right? This thing on?

  • anymommy says:

    Yummy.  If it makes you feel better, my son spent an entire cross-country trip, Washington State to Washington D.C. licking things.  Airport walls.  Chairs.  Airplane seats.  Foul.  He lived.

  • Alexis says:

    Tell me that you have Pinkilicous and Purplicious the children’s books! The little girls eats too many pink cupcakes and turns pink. They are a bed time staple for my four year old princess/cowgirl dress up chica. Dylan just wants to be pink!

  • Oz says:

    At least they’re her own hairbands.  My son put another kid’s barrette in his mouth at daycare.   Perhaps people under six have special tastebuds devoted to hair accessories

  • At least she’s licking pink, pretty things. My daughter has taken to filling up a glass with bathtub water and drinking it. She also sucks dirty washcloths out of the hamper. We’ve been on a water conservation kick, but this is ridiculous.

  • Kimberly says:

    just saw this post (your blog has been going to my bulk folder all of a sudden) and i agree with rick.. ew… and abby, not sure if i am the “sil”  you refer to, but i live in jersey but definitely don’t consider myself a “jersey girl” or anything like those women on real housewives.. they are in a whole other category of jersey girls!!  even i found it unwatchable!  also, hope the “who we LOVE” was sincere;)

  • Abby Siegel says:

    Yes Kim, it was sincere and my own SIL is wonderful and not the type of “Jersey Girl” that is shown on RW. It was meant as a joke. She can’t wait to watch. My best friend from college is also from Jersey and I’m sure she’d laugh at the show too.

  • pajamadeen says:

    Well…Dylan is technically correct.  You DID actually say:  “Dylan, please stop licking those! We haven’t even paid for them.”  It was perfectly obvious to her that, once paid for, the ponytail holders were fair game.  😉  It sounds like Dylan doesn’t miss a trick.  hahahaha

    Hey, I actually came on here to see how you did in the latet Goog page rank crawl – Congratulations! You went up from a 5 to a 6!  🙂 

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kelcey kintner