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summer-in-fuzzy-pink-coat-3.jpgI’m feeling a bit emotional and off balance right now. I’m trying to wean my 11 month-old baby Summer. I feel ready to do it but I’m completely unready to do it. I want to let go but I don’t want to lose our thing. Because you know, it’s what we do. She nurses. I watch “Gossip Girl.” We’re connected. We’re happy. And I fear the moment she stops nursing, she will transform from this sweet, magical, butter cream cupcake into a ranting, irrational toddler. Tell me it’s not true. I probably won’t believe you.

As a result, everything is unsettling me. Summer climbed onto Dylan’s activity table, fell off and whacked the back of head. She recovered and quickly refocused on trying to capture a piece of Dylan’s Halloween candy that was just out of her grasp. But I was still rattled. And I could not believe my husband Rick was so calm about the whole thing. I mean, shouldn’t he join my hysteria?! SHE FELL OFF THE TABLE. I KNOW SHE’S FINE NOW BUT I’M STILL WORRIED.

This past weekend, I unintentionally insulted someone that I admire and my upset continued long after my apology was accepted. I’m bothered by Abby’s descent into an alcoholic tailspin. Um.. that’s Abby from “ER.” That’s right – the fictional television show. Really, I gotta buck up. What is my problem? 3 year-old Dylan is starting to have some competition for the title of “craziest person in the house.”

summer-reflection2.jpgI guess it’s always hard to see the baby fade away. And Summer is not exactly championing this weaning thing. The girl hates milk – any milk that doesn’t come from my breast. I even went against every organic bone in my being and added artificially flavored strawberry syrup to the whole milk. It was DE-lish. I could drink a pint of it. It tasted about 10 thousand times, actually make that 40 thousand times, better than breast milk. Summer? Speak to the hand. Not going there sista. Thanks for trying. Maybe she’s holding out for a chocolate milkshake.

I remember when I stopped nursing Dylan at a year-old, I was melancholy for a few days and then I just felt so free. My body was wholly and completely my own again. So a little freedom will feel good. Won’t it? Tell me it’s true. I promise to believe you.

By the way, if you’re counting…

3 days til Wednesday’s Project Runway debut. My obsession for this show is deep. Every season, I’m convinced that I can be the next Cynthia Rowley despite the fact that I’m A) not on the show, B) don’t know how to sew and C) have never designed anything. Of course, I’m still hoping to be an Olympic ice skater too, so big dreams die hard.

7 days since the writer’s strike started. Oh people, just hammer something out. And then the writers can scribe a riveting movie of the week on all the drama in the back room negotiations. Or just go back to writing smart, clever commentary for Jon Stewart. Oh, I miss that man. He’s just not the same in repeats.

and 17 days since I ordered the Pilates core work-out DVD. Still unopened.

12 Responses to pink milk

  • Allison Teweles says:

    Maybe your Pilates DVD and my Swiss Ball are hanging out together, planning our Thanksgiving dinner. Because lord knows they're not planning our workouts.

    Thanks for the update on Project RW. I keep flipping to Bravo thinking, "Oooh, maybe it's on tonight!"

  • Kimberly says:

    as i sit here with extremely sore boobs applying lansinoh after every 3 hr feedings, i am oh so jealous that it is weaning time for you!!! grass is always greener, but remember that liberating feeling when you're officially DONE! you will find special moments in other things w/summer. i think you're just sad to lose your excuse to watch mindless tv;)

  • Kristen says:

    Okay, I just read the recap of ER online. Yikes!!! Do you think Abby slept with Moretti or are they just making it look that way?

  • izzy's mama says:

    Just to play devil's advocate for a moment..toddler nursing is wonderful..solves so many little issues..don't know what I would have done without it. But I do understand it is not for everyone so good luck if you must forge ahead with the weaning plan. Gradual is best..find a boob replacement and use it each time..back massage, read a book etc.

  • Erin says:

    Best of luck with the weaning. Please let me know what its like to NOT wear breast pads EVERY day…ugh…4 months of nursing and some days it seems endless.

    Thank God for Project Runway as I have a button to sew on my pants and am really looking for some inspiration. I figure if they can create an evening gown using a paper bag I can get a fricken button on…but most likely I will just buy new pants…seriously.

    The whole Abby drinking and sleeping with icky Moretti is so disturbing on many levels but most of all I couldn't handle how her baby kept crying at the end. It was breaking my heart! Joe, stop crying!! I wanted to reach out and comfort him and…oh wait it's a tv show…

    Finally, I still haven't opened my "Fit THROUGH Pregnancy" dvd and Katherine is almost 4 months old…feel better? :-}

  • Jordana Bales says:

    ER and weaning – 2 subjects near and dear to my heart. Firstly, I MISSED ER. My VCR timer was off (yes, I am still living in the dark ages of VCRs and no DVRs) and I missed the episode! I watched the 2-minute recap on-line but it just wasn't the same (although I did gasp audibily when I saw Abby with Moretti!). Secondly, I've been struggling with the weaning thing myself and Ava is almost 2. I'm pregnant – I HAVE NO MILK and this little girl still won't give up "boo boo" We're working slowly but surely – three days off, one on. I know she misses it, but honestly, I do too! We did substitute granola bars for boo boo – it worked for a bit…Good luck to you and Abby on ER!

  • Abby says:

    Ok now I am mad-I haven't watched ER yet and that is a shocker!!! Can we please state for the record that the Abby you refer to as the alcoholic is ABBY ON TV and not me, Abby in real life??? Crap, I had errands to do but now I will go watch ER!

  • franny says:

    I weaned Mike the old fashioned way. I went on an island vacation and left him with our dear Nanni. Kids don't have to drink milk. Mike liked only pink grapefruit juice (still does). He never once drank a sippy cup of milk. He ate foods with the same nutrients and the doc said there was no reason for him to drink milk.Maybe Summer just doesn't like milk! No biggy. Go for it! Good luck.

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