I guess my dad fled back to Cape Cod because I haven’t seen him anywhere.
But in his absence, I did convince my New Zealander friend Lucy to phone bank for the Obama campaign with me this weekend.
Lucy can’t vote, but she wants to do something. And I figured, what undecided voter could resist that Kiwi accent? We called Ohio voters and no disrespect to Ohioans but the North Carolina voters I called last week were a bit more cordial. I guess it’s the southern way.
I remember at Tulane University in New Orleans, I’d hear southern guys get in an argument and one of them would say, “F-ck all, y’all.” Kind of a more pleasant sounding way to say F-ck you, don’t you think?
Anyway, back to my mission to change America… So one of my 90 calls on Saturday was to Ohio resident Bryan Runyon. Now, I really thought Bryan and I had something special, a bit of a connection. I was just feeling sort of a positive karmic energy even as the phone was ringing.
“Hi. Is this Bryan? My name is Kelcey and I’m calling from the Obama campaign –”
“Oh, I don’t have time for this shit.”
That is not the first time I’ve seriously misjudged karmic energy.
I have futilely tried to convince my husband Rick to phone bank for the Obama campaign. But he keeps refusing, muttering something about being an Independent and needing to preserve his journalistic integrity.
Integrity?! Have you seen Rick’s Facebook page? He has 428 Facebook friends.
I mean, the guy will be friends with anyone. He’s so easy. Go ahead. Ask to be his friend.
Alright alright, maybe he’s just a super, friendly guy.
How many Facebook friends do I have?
Oh. Only 105.
And Bryan Runyan is so obviously not one of them.
mama bird notes: