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Nov
08
2012

I really believe it’s important in life to not let your fears control you. You must take a leap of faith and just go for it.

Which is why I decided to go back to Costco. Now apparently I’ve been there two times. Once in the 90s which I’ve clearly suppressed or maybe I was too drunk to remember but my friend Lanie insists it happened. And once earlier this year when I got completely overwhelmed and left with one bag of chicken tenders and some drink yogurts.

But I bravely decided to venture back.

(Editor’s Note: Last week I received this comment on my candy corn post: “You advertise now. Your blog isn’t fun or funny anymore. Thanks for the laughs before your sellout.”  So just in case there is any confusion, this is NOT a post sponsored by Costco. If it was, it would say: This sellout post is sponsored by Costco.)

So anyway, I get in the store with all 4 kids and I’m perusing all the 30 gallon jugs of peach salsa trying to contemplate exactly how long it might take me to use 30 gallons of peach salsa, when someone says to me…

“Are ALL of those kids yours?”

Now I don’t really understand this questions because wouldn’t four kids be the MINIMUM amount of kids you would need to put back 30 gallons of peach salsa before it went bad?!

So I say, “Oh no! These aren’t my kids. I’m the nanny.”

Silence.

And I know she is thinking… Why is this nanny so old and why does she look so much like the kids she is paid to take care of?

And I’m about to explain that it’s kind of like how dog owners start to look like their pets and sometimes the very best nannies start to resemble the kids they take care of but then I decide against it and  just keep silent.

And I know she is waiting for me to break and admit that they are indeed my kids.

But I don’t break. And my older girls don’t say something because they have their eyes on some Margherita pizza in aisle 3 and they aren’t going to say anything to put that in jeopardy.

And she finally goes on her way.

I did not buy the peach salsa. But I did buy some pigs in a blanket, buffalo wings, tomatoes, lettuce and pull-ups. I think I’m really getting the hang of this store.

17 Responses to peach salsa

  • Whahahaha… It sounds like our Makro here in SA. I’ll be blowed if I know how to even reach the 5lt bottle of Mayonnaise that’s on the shelf about 3 meters in the air! WTH? Although, with Angel Boy, it would be gone before the month is out anyway…

  • daphne says:

    mmm peach salsa. I too recently caved and now go to Costco — mostly for the cheese and nuts. And I always bring someone else’s kids with

  • Loukia says:

    Chips and salsa are my favourite things to buy at Costco! Also, we go every week with the kids which is probably why I’m always on edge and yell-y.

  • Jaimee says:

    The best part about Costco is the free samples! We go all the time for lunch. Also, you should move out here to Utah. No one thinks twice about so many kids. Its great!

  • Issa says:

    People who ask crap like that make me wonder about humanity.

    Plus HI YOU WERE AT COSTCO! People who shop at Costco with kids…generally have kids. Who else needs 30 zillion pounds of one thing?

  • Rick says:

    So bummed now that I missed this Costco run. You could have told her you’re the nanny and I’m your boyfriend!

  • dahlila says:

    Next time one of my dogs poops someone’s lawn right in front of them, as they are want to do, I’m just the dog walker. ;)

  • You’ll be able to get UV Skinz there early next year so you must make sure to go back and check on the display for me! ;-) (I’m going to have to use the ‘I’m-the-nanny’ thing with my brood, but I have a feeling one of them will rat me out for sure.)

  • Lanie says:

    We went to Costco to get things for the gift bags for your wedding in 2002 :-). I think we were sober but I cannot be sure. And, I do not think that we brought any kids with us. . .xoxo

  • Leigh Ann says:

    It took me months to get used to Costco, mainly because it was hard to get there before they closed at 8:30, and I’m not brave enough to go with more than 1 kid.

    And hellooooo…those ads help pay for the Costco membership and subsequent inflated grocery bill.

  • Marta says:

    okay the words “peach salsa” have been starring at me in my inbox all day and there’s pretty much nothing I want to eat more than peach salsa. I’m going to have to make a trip to Costco myself!

    Also, I love that you denied your kids. :-)


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