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When I moved to the suburbs I worried about certain things…

The quiet. And yes, sometimes I really do still miss the drunk bachelorettes outside of Tortilla Flats, the screaming, fighting couples at 3 am and the honking of impatient cabbies. I know it sounds insane if you’re not a city person but I take comfort in a place that keeps going long after I go to bed.

Limited delivery options. Basically, I had to find my own personal delivery guy. His name is Rick. Last night, he brought me a tasty dish from Little Thai Kitchen.  He didn’t even charge me. He’s awesome like that.

Life without a doorman. I open my own door now, which is actually not that difficult.

Intruders. So far no one has tried to break in. I really wish they would because I could use another hand around here to fold some laundry.

Having no friends. There are great gals here in Westchester. Well, not that I’ve met them. But I follow them around from a distance and they seem way cool. In all seriousness, I actually know some people now who are funny and nice and awesome. Thank goodness.

But when we decided to move to the suburbs, the one thing I apparently forgot to worry about was trying to physically get into my car…

That’s my car on the right. How the hell am I, a pregnant woman, supposed to open my car door and get into my vehicle when someone parks this close? In fact, I’ve noticed that this is a consistent problem in the SUV crazed suburbs where all the cars seem way too bloated for all the narrow parking spots.

In this case, I actually had to crawl through the passenger side to get in.

But in all fairness, I sort of parked too close to the line.

Ok maybe a little bit over the line.

You know what I need to make sure this problem gets completely out of control? I should trade in my Toyota Highlander Hybrid for an even bigger car.

To be continued in another post…

21 Responses to parking is not for dummies

  • Oh the magical comedic power of the crop.

    Which is not unlike photos of myself.

    You should have left a note on the car next to yours “Thanks a lot for parking in the actual space you choose. The polite thing to do was to ALSO park over the line on the other side to compensate for my lack of parking skills. Have a nice day sucka.”

  • Hilarious! The same thing happened to me when I was pregnant (about 9 mnths!) with my first… I was parked outside of WS in Westport and cars on both sides were much too close for comfort. I didn’t even have an SUV back then, just a small red Acura! Needless to say I stood on Main Street blubbering like a fool!

    Btw, I will take the safe haven that is Manhattan over these scary burbs any day!

  • traci says:

    That would have severely pissed me off. Combine that frustration with my new jersey ‘tude and I don’t know if I would have been able to not walk in the establishment and shout for someone to move their car. Plus, who doesn’t park on the line sometimes?!

  • When I first moved to the country the silence at night, or worse, the cicadas chirping, drove me crazy! I missed the sound of cars and even police sirens. When I talk to my son on the phone and I hear the sounds of Manhattan in the background I get all nostalgic!

  • Sara says:

    Kelcey – u seriously have parking issues. But props for crawling thru the other window while pregnant w twins – yer crazy mama!

    Also, can I borrow your delivery guy? He sounds awesome. If I don’t tip him, will he stand at my door awkwardly staring at me? I hate that.

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Park in the handicap spots; with twins in the belly….you’re eligible. You can get a temporary handicap placque…good for 6 months from the DMV. Just ask your GYN doctor to recommend it..

  • francine Kasen says:

    Some spots are just too damn small! And the fatter I get, the smaller they get! I have all sorts of parking strategies, but my MOST BRILLIANT one (which I am happy to share with your readers) is when I have bikes hanging on a bike rack and I need to park where I’m afraid someone may try to steal them,,,,,I find a light pole or wall or shopping cart structure and I back up to it really really close , so no one could possibly remove the bikes from the rack!! I have done this for the past few years, and I am sure I have foiled many-a-bike-thief. Just a tip from the burbs! Happy Holidays!!

  • Could have written this post myself, except I lived in Baltimore, so the things I heard late at night were a little more sinister than bachelorette parties. I love the burbs now, but it does take some getting used to. And it is definitely hard to meet people. Where do people meet people? I have no idea.

  • Ann says:

    Laughing at Wendi’s comment.

    I like the way you articulated “I take comfort in a place that keeps going long after I go to bed.”

    That is so true about cities.

  • Julie says:

    When I was pregnant I once had to climb in the passenger seat and climb over the center console while 8 months pregnant. I also once asked a coworker to come and pull my car out for me.

  • I’ve always felt comforted by the sound of the masses outside my window while I sleep. And I had a very similar problem when I was pregnant the first time and my parking space at work was next to a column. If the car that parked on the other side was even a tiny bit close – I couldn’t get out my door. Very inconvenient when I was late for a meeting.

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kelcey kintner