I can’t remember exactly when I started reading Marinka’s blog, Motherhood in NYC, but I know it significantly improved my life. What do I like best about the mysterious Marinka? She’s hilarious, loves a good margarita and she’s a bottle blond. I think you’ll agree, those traits are the cornerstone of any solid friendship.
We decided to come clean about our addiction to hair chemicals. Read Marinka’s very entertaining post below, leave a comment and then head on over to Motherhood in NYC to read my post.
From Hair to Eternity
When I was in high school, I had my hair dyed platinum blonde by a man who told me that he’d done Cindy Lauper’s hair as well. “Does she really talk in that Betty Boop voice?” I asked. “Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed. Because apparently such conversations were beneath him. He charged $50 and I thought that I was Marilyn Monroe. I was a soccer and lacrosse playing tomboy, but I loved unnaturally blonde hair.
Although I had toned down the shade since high school to focus on colors actually found in nature (excluding the Vermont high foliage season), a few weeks ago it occurred to me that I have been getting my hair dyed pretty much consistently for the past twenty five years. I ran some numbers and realized that if I’d been investing all that hair money with Madoff, early on in the scheme and got out while the going was good, I could have had some prime New York City real estate by now. But we all make choices in life and I don’t regret mine. What I do regret is the economic turmoil that our country is in right now because it put my hair color under scrutiny. Well, not the color itself, because that is beyond reproach and I believe that was cited favorably in the Stimulus Bill, but the payments that I make for it.
“I can help you with that,” my gay best friend John told me. “We’ll get some Garnier Nutresse and do it ourselves.” He clicked over to their website where Sarah Jessica Parker reassured me that I would, indeed, look fabulous. I was still unsure. John thought that it would be really cost conscious and fun for the whole family if he came over and did it for me at home. There were a few problems with his plan. The first is that “fun for the whole family” translates into “my unholy nightmare”. The second is that as far as I could tell, John’s color experience was limited to dying his own beard Bluto-black and then having to dye his shower curtain dark blue to mask the Bluto-black beard dye that splashed on it. I suggested that he just dye his beard blue and save the extra step, but it seems that my wisdom is lost on him. At any rate, I wasn’t ready to have Russian Whore Blonde shower curtains, so I never took him up on his offer. I mean, it’s only a couple of hundred dollars every few months. Surely there are other expenses that I could trim. Like the children’s food. And besides, that prime New York City real estate would be nearly worthless now. I’m so glad that I invested in hair.
Click on over to Motherhood in NYC to read how I accidentally became a brunette.
mama bird notes:
Contributing mama Daphne Biener is starting to wonder if her kids are always right. Click on contributing mamas to read more. Trust me, any post that references Culture Club is worth reading.
And I want to thank Smartass Mom for this lovely award below. I’m so very honored. Thank you!