Nursing makes you completely starving. You go from, “Hey, I feel good. It’s a nice day out. Is that a chipmunk? He’s a cute little guy” to “Get me food NOW before I am forced to eat that stupid furry dumb chipmunk.” It all happens very fast.
I was driving to Bed, Bath & Beyond for the 3rd time in a week. I had of course for the third time forgotten those giant size coupons but since it takes me about 20 minutes to get out of my gated community, there was no turning back.
As I made my way to B to the third power, I suddenly realized I was famished. There were no snacks in the car and I cursed myself for having it cleaned before leaving NY because there weren’t even some lingering goldfish I could scrape up from the ground. Cash was sleeping in his infant seat so I didn’t want to drag him out of the car and take the chance of waking the sleeping baby giant before I got to my destination.
But then I saw it – a Burger King drive thru! the last time I was at Burger King, it was 1989. I could only imagine that BK had embraced the health revolution and was now offering a delicious egg white breakfast sandwich with turkey bacon and low fat feta cheese.
I would be mistaken. Not one healthy option on the menu. Of course I didn’t know this until I went through the drive thru line where I refused to order anything because I wasn’t going to waste a bunch of fat calories on breakfast. And then I got stuck in the drive thru lane because there was nowhere to exit. I just sat there, trapped and hungry.
Of course, hunger quickly turns to rage and I mentally began preparing the long email I would send to those Burger King corporate big wigs about the importance of offering healthy options on their menu. Because obviously any girl who has an entire house to unpack plus those lingering thank you notes from a baby born 3 months ago, should spend time writing to a fast food joint about nutrition.
I made my Bed, Bath & Beyond run and on the way back, I had another vision of loveliness. A McDonald’s drive thru! I was pretty sure they had some kind of egg white delight McMuffin and I was very excited. I placed my order and was told…
“Breakfast is over ma’am. You have to order off the lunch menu.”
It was 10:36 a.m. Who the hell eats lunch at 10:30 in the morning?
I mean other than my first grader who seriously has to eat lunch at 10:30 am at her school. But hell, I’m not in first grade. I eat lunch when I want too! Except at McDonald’s apparently.
And at that point, I gave up. I pressed “home’ on my GPS and started driving. I became suspicious when I looked down and the driving time was 20 hours and 52 minutes. Yes, I was following directions back to New York.
As soon as I got home to my Florida address, I emailed Burger King about my breakfast dissatisfaction. I’m sure menu changes are imminent. Plus, next week they start serving the french fry burger so obviously we are on the same page.