There is something about a new year that makes us all want to be better people. But of course, it’s exhausting to come up with resolutions. I mean, you haven’t even found time to fold the laundry. So I came up with some resolutions for you. Don’t feel like you have to do something for me in return. Well, if you do… I really like candy. Chocolate specifically. Happy New Year!
New Year’s Resolutions for Moms:
Decal “Hot Mama” on your minivan. Or better yet, decal “Hunk of Burning Love” on your husband’s car as a surprise.
Give money to organizations you believe in. The Ryan Gosling Shirtless Calendar Fund does not count.
Yell less. Or at least try not to yell when you are telling your kids to stop yelling.
Sit down with your children more. Clean less. Okay, clean the toilet. Because it’s seriously gross.
Start that Josh Lucas fan club you’ve been meaning to kick start since “Sweet Home Alabama” came out.
Recycle more. Bring reusable bags to the grocery store. When you forget the bags – explain to the cashier that you are super green but also super forgetful.
Look at your phone less. Except if you have a really really important Facebook update. Okay, maybe just a quick scan of your newsfeed.
Be kind. When you’re not kind, apologize. If they don’t accept your apology, cry until they do.
Sleep 8 hours. Warning: This will not work unless your children are on board with this.
Floss. Try not to resent your spouse who never flosses and never has cavities because come on, how does he do that?!
Ask that mom who is about your age and always looks awesome, how does she always look that awesome?!
Start a kickstarter campaign for Botox and fillers because it turns out that’s how that mom looks so awesome.
Tell your spouse how much you love him. But if he keeps doing that hot breath thing on your face at night, that deep love could be in jeopardy.
Practice random acts of kindness. Like randomly not getting annoyed that members of your family keep leaving empty cartons of everything in the fridge. And of course, paying for strangers’ Starbucks coffees too.
Find some sort of exercise that doesn’t feel like you are stabbing yourself in the eyes and do it somewhat regularly. Chocolate yoga anyone? (Yes, it’s a real thing.)
Be grateful. Because there are so many moments of beauty, amazement and laughter in this world. We just have to see them.