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my super secret fashion tips
I am very sensitive to the plight of the modern mom and realize that it’s very hard to stay up on cool, fashionista trends when even a 10 minute shower means your kids just redecorated the kitchen table with Dora stickers.
So I’m here to help. I think you’ll agree that even the busiest of moms can seamlessly work the three following beauty tips into their lives.
1. Fake Eyelashes: Rick and I recently went out to dinner and I wanted to look all sultry and sexy and Marilyn Monroe-licious. Obviously fake eyelashes were in order. I had bought some from Sephora and sadly, they came with no instructions which I blame on our male dominated society although I’m not really sure why. Anyway, it was just the lashes and the glue.
So first I put some glue in the outer corner of my eye but that just made me look like I had some kind of festering eye infection which did not exactly shout “sultry.”
Next, I tried putting just a touch of glue on the end of the fake lash and attaching it to the outer corner of my eye. But the lash would absolutely not stay put.
What the hell?! Marilyn Monroe never wore her eyelashes on her cheek.
Screw the fake eyelashes. I’m sultry enough.
2. Body Piercing: The belly button ring is so out. And don’t even get me started on those old school “earrings.” Today, it’s all about piercing the nape of your neck.
I was in yoga class when I realized the gal in front of me had one of these. I was so intrigued that I barely noticed that we held the the chair pose for an agonizing 30 seconds. So that’s a bonus for freaky jewelry.
And if you get one of these, you will be all urban and edgy and wig out lots of moms at preschool pickup.
Note: That photo is not the girl from my yoga class. Even I’m not brave enough to pull out my camera during sun salutations.
3. Headbands: It’s time to reclaim the headband back from Lauren Conrad of “The Hills.” It’s not just for 20-somethings on fake reality TV shows! You can wear it too. Hell, even my dad is doing it.
By the way, in no way did I encourage my father to put on this hair accessory. I simply turned around in the car and all three of them were donning headbands. He claims it was Summer’s idea. So if you want to look like a toddler or a 66 year-old man, this is the summer look for you.
So there you go. My stylin’ tips for the mom-on-the-go. I just saved you $5 bucks on a Vogue Magazine.
mama bird notes;
I wanted to thank Cyn from River Dog Prints for saying such wonderful, amazing things about me and my blog.
I told her that anytime I feeling crummy, I’m going to go re-read her post as a pick-me-up. I’m very grateful and humbled by her kind words.
And thank you to About.com for featuring me on their Stay-At-Home Moms Site! I am so very honored. Just click here.
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I can’t master fake eyelashes either… tricky little things. I can barely manage eyeliner.
Or headbands.
(Look at you, all over the internet! go, you!)
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Thank you. I will use that $5 for some press-on peel-and-stick eyelashes. Hawt.
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You are so funny! Thanks for starting my day with a laugh!
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I can’t believe that you gave us all thse tips for free!
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Blair is the queen of the headbands!
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i wish i could do headbands, but they start to bug me and i pull them out put my hair in a pony tail instead–i’m not disciplined enough to be fashionista.
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You just made me laugh out loud and that is a challenge while battling mastitis, 3.5 month old with a cold and family awake from 1:15-3:30 am and somehow made it to my office on time. THANK YOU for the giggle. And tell your father he is just fabulous in a headband.
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ps- ROUCH on that piercing!
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Wait? So I should get my neck pierced to stay on top of things? Wow…never even thought of such a thing.
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I LOVE you Dad. (and your blog) Maybe you should think about Lastisse?
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One of these days I’ll have to email you the link to the post I wrote about using fake eyelashes. It was the worst thing EVER! I felt like I had centipedes or caterpillars on my eyes. It was awful. And the breeze created every time I blinked was enough to fan a room full of small children!
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When I got married last year, my make-up artist mentioned something about fake eyelashes. I freaked out for a bit, thinking of all the things that could go wrong with them. Thankfully, when we actually met, she said my eyelashes were full enough that I didn’t need them. Because I would seriously wind up walking down the aisle with a hanging lash – and worry if that was as bad as a hanging chad.
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go to MAC and get the eye lashes that are ALL TOGETHER! They will also put them on for you. Amazing!
I heart your dad!!!
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I love your dad! That’s hysterical.
I can’t do the eyelash thing either. My manual dexterity sucks. And the neck piercing? I had to scroll down your post quickly so I didn’t have to look at that picture. Willies!
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I have a nose ring and love body art, but- that being said- that neck think sort of gave me the heeby jeebies…
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that looked iike a hair from my underarm.
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I have that problem with fake tanning lotion – I simply cannot apply it correctly. I end up looking like an orange streaked person. ugh. I would love to have someone else apply fake eyelashes on me. But they’d have to be at my house at the end of the night to take them off me too. hehe.
Great other posts too!
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Yeah… thanks for those tips and of course the laughs. Keep them coming!
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Thanks for the tips
I’m pregnant right now and am blaming EVERYTHING these days on our male domainated society. Surely if women ruled the world (or if men had to get pregnant) they’d have cures for morning sickness and allow pregnant women access to more drugs than just Tylenol (which helps nothing!).
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LOL — thanks for the tips! A friend’s 18 year-old daughter just had the bolt thru the neck procedure done and was able to hide it for a couple of days on account of her long hair.
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ditto to what abby said!!
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Your dad looks better in the headband than I would.
Neck piercing? Wow.
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Well thank you very much for my first CRINGE of the day. I’d never heard of neck nape piercing, but now, thanks to you, I can’t get the thought of how it looks like the piercing goes through the spinal column as well – ACK!
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I can’t get past that nape of the neck thing… shudders…
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I have a belly-button ring back from ye olde days. Must say, it does put a little pep in Old Man Umbilicus’s step. (he hasn’t been the same since pregnancies 1 and 2).
congrats on the link love! well-deserved.
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I seem to recall a photo a few months back of your father in a tutu or a princess dress or something. He’s pretty much game for anything, huh?
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That neck thing is totally news to me. I am so sheltered.
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I thought we agreed I would be 65.
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Never tried the false lashes but always wanted to. Not anymore.
Never tried the nape of the neck piercing. Never wanted to. Now, definitely don’t. Mothaf**king OUCH.
And headbands? Only when I’m washing my face.
LOL.
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Fake eyelashes look too complicated. And I would end up having some kind of Three is Company-esque humiliation when they started dropping off my face while talking to a friend I haven’t seen since college (or better yet a GUY I used to date). But I have pretty wimpy eyelashes – so I can’t say that I’ve never considered it.
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OMG that piercing is creepy. But I’m totally with you on the fake eyelashes too much bother. I prefer to find the perfect mascara so my existing eyelashes won’t clump together.
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I have thick, black hair, which means I don’t need fake eyelashes. This also means I have a moustache over my lip that must be treated. Life’s full of trade offs.
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Hysterical. Have you read The Ten-Year Nap by M. Wolitzer? One of the characters is a mom who moved from Manhattan to the burbs. Interesting read.
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Love the headband! The body piercing is still giving me chills!
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I LOVE that pic of your dad – isn’t it something what kids can get their grandparents to do?
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Thank you for the tips – as you know I always need them. Perhaps I should start asking your dad.
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I can’t do the eyelash thing either. It is too complicated for me… maybe I should try one of the eyelashes growth products. Anyone tried lilash? I read (eyelashesgrowth.com) a nice review about them.
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