Top Resolutions for 2013 (Is it too late?!)
10. That the next time my husband and I go for a walk together in my sister’s Memphis neighborhood, we don’t have to use the GPS on our cell phones to find our way back home. (If we were married in the eighties, we’d still be wondering around down there.)
9. Not to get pregnant again (the fact that I am already pregnant and due in May will help considerably in this goal). You can’t get pregnant when you’re pregnant, right?!
8. Stop trying to convince everyone I know to have a baby so they can be as overwhelmed as I feel. But seriously can everyone at least adopt a dog or buy a Chia pet? Something.
7. Stop saying to my husband, “I just don’t quite understand why you would… (and then fill in the blank with things like, leave your crap all over the house, let the kids watch 6 hours of TV, get everything on the shopping list except my Junior Mints which are obviously the most important item, etc).
6. To stop crying during episodes of Parenthood. It’s a TV show. I’m going to keep repeating that to myself. It’s a TV show.
5. To not steal any of Kim or Kanye’s potential baby names. Unless they are considering Kermit or Kosmo. Or Honey Boo Boo.
4. Have one day this year where my hair looks as good as Connie Britton’s.
3. Stop throwing “fiscal cliff” and “debt ceiling” into every conversation to make myself seem more cerebral and less suburban tennis mom.
2. Stop making disparaging remarks about the Man in the Yellow Hat since that guy and his sidekick monkey allow me to take a shower everyday in peace. My 2-year-old son is mad about that TV show and whoever is responsible for putting it on the air, I love you very much.
1. Stop wondering why Ryan Gosling and I never dated.