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I’m not sure how it all happened. It’s not like someone blindfolded me, dumped me in the suburbs and I woke up holding the keys to a minivan.

I think I did all this willingly.

I do clearly remember living in the West Village of Manhattan. I remember going to new, much written about restaurants and meeting friends at the Soho House. I can clearly recall hanging out at the same coffee shop as Hugh Jackman and thinking, man, I must be sort of cool.

And then it all goes a little blurry.

We started looking at homes in Westchester and suddenly, I no longer lived on West 12th Street but instead, I could hear birds in the morning. And kids were playing baseball in the street. And a Toyota Highlander Hybrid was sitting in the driveway.

Well, that’s OK, I thought.Β  Because this is kind of nice. It’s sunny here. And peaceful. And life is just easier. I can breathe a bit. And sure the new car is sort of big and hard to park. But it’s ultra eco fabulous.

And then the sonogram showed two heartbeats. Two beautiful, amazing heartbeats and I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Four children. What an incredible blessing.

And then my husband had the audacity to mention that word:


I heard Mini Cooper.

He repeated the word: Minivan.

A mini breakdown followed.

Don’t you understand? I’m not a minivan girl. I’m a sassy city girl. I would never own a minivan. I have on many occasion declared with complete certainty that I would never own a minivan. And I couldn’t possibly be wrong.

And then my husband uttered a simple truth:

“You wanted four kids. Now we’re going to get them. And we have to put them somewhere.”

The man is very wise.

The minivan is on its way.

55 Responses to my name is kelcey and i will soon own a minivan

  • merlotmom says:

    I said NEVER many times about getting a minivan and now I have one. And I don’t have four kids so what’s my excuse. I have a love/hate relationship with my van. Hopefully yours is better. I think it will be great for infants though. Congrats by the way!

  • Kathy says:

    Those are hard words to swallow MINIVAN! But your oh! so wise husband see’s the future clearer. I swear in 6 months you are going to be posting how in love you are with your mini van and how have you lived this long with out it. You will always be a cool city girl in your heart.

  • Eunice says:

    I test drove the new Toyota Sienna SE model and it’s like the anti-minivan. I’m sure you could get a great deal on it these days. It’s supposed to be out this month. Congrats on the four kids!

  • Ditto what the above said about the Toyota Sienna. Souped up it’s like a luxury Highlander only the doors slide open and it’s roomier. I had one. I hated it. So when the lease was up we traded it for another model (within the same company) and, shhhhh, don’t tell anyone… I miss the damn thing!

  • BigCityMom says:

    not that it’s much better, but you can fit 4 kids in a three-row suv if you aren’t quite ready for the mini-van. i have an acura mdx and i do love it even if it quite the sign of suburbia embrace!

  • vodkamom says:


    I’ll be right over with champagne and a MINI VAN MANUAL!!

    I am so excited right now. xxxxx

  • vodkamom says:

    Oh, and the next time you see my boyfriend Hugh? Tell him my new ##. I’m SURE he’s been trying to call.

  • I have one word for you. Suburban. I once swore I’d never own a minivan. I own a minivan. I cannot get rid of that thing to save my life. It’s a blow to the ego, for sure. I know there is nothing eco fabulous about an SUV, but you sure will look a lot cooler than you will in a minivan. πŸ˜‰

    But a minivan is SO easy and convenient with babies, and you will have 2 so… maybe the minivan is a good plan.

    Hey. CONGRATULATIONS by the way. this is news to me. (I know, I’m a delinquent blog reader.)

  • Bitsy says:

    Your back will thank you. Getting babies and little kids in and out of an SUV is a nightmare. I have been looking forward to getting rid of my minivan for so long, but I just keep filling up all those seats with random extra kids. Just like my house: full of random extra kids that I did not birth, in addition to the ones I did.

  • Jennifer S says:

    From another not-a-minivan girl, I understand. One of these days they’ll come out with an uber-cool-looking minivan just for sassy city girls like you.

  • Coma Girl says:

    My condolences.

    Actually, it won’t be too bad. Haven’t you seen the new Sienna commercial? She’s still cool and hip in her minivan.

    And commercials don’t lie.

  • Emily Keenan says:

    I miss Hugh Jackman too. And Leonardo. And Keifer. And all my celebrity friends I grew very attached to. I can’t believe they don’t keep in touch!?!?!?

  • Robyn says:

    Minivan – ugh. Maybe YOU will make them chic!

    May I suggest a Chevy Traverse? It’s not a minivan and it has 3 rows (and good on gas mileage). I’d make a damn good car saleswoman, huh?!

  • Sue says:

    Well, hey, make it your “husband’s minivan,” and just borrow it from him every day. They’re his kids too, you know?
    Can’t wait til we need to upsize from our tiny tiny one-baby car! Congrats on your 4!

  • sara says:

    Kelc – I literally said the other day to my husband “babe, our next car should be a minivan – It just makes the most sense” – I’m PRETTY sure an alien entered this NYC girls body for that moment…but I don’t know….somewhere…deep down…..way down….maybe I don’t hate the minivan? Ugh -the thought is just too disturbing. Let me know what you think – you are my “coolness gauge”.

  • Crystal says:

    I guess I’m NOT as cool as I thought. I had my dream car once…the Pontiac Montana. They don’t make them anymore and my husband blew the motor up in the one we did have…orange anti-freeze is NOT good in Pontiacs.

  • OHmommy says:

    I’ve had my minivan for three years. It will be paid of this fall which is when I will be getting a Suburban.

    It was good for the infant stage – I will say that much. With it’s magic doors and all. But now that the kids can get in and out by themselves, I can not wait to get rid of it.

  • jean says:

    Hey Kelcey~Yeah, the automatic doors are a definite plus and you WILL appreciate those, but the best thing I loved about my TownandCountry was the soundsystem. Yeah! It was the quietest ride~great for listening to your favorite music…even though you might be listening to a fair amount of kiddy music for the time being…And, I still think you’re cool no matter what.

  • erica says:

    We got a minivan for the third kid and I was sad. Now I look at it as a temporary way to accomodate three carseats/booster seats and a dog. The kids are in the process of trashing it and by the time it hits 150,000 miles we’ll be ready to get rid of it, two of the three will be out of carseats so we can go back to an eco-conscious SUV. So think of it as a temporary way to accomodate all those carseats and get through the spilling everything phase. The third row SUV’s don’t work once you take into account all the junk you have to bring with you on driving vacations…..

  • Karen Bland says:

    My dear sassy friend – the same thing happened to me last summer. Two months before Coco was born (#4), Jeffrey started threatening me with the M word. But in the end, I WON. Two words for you: CHEVY TRAVERSE. It’s the SUV on the outside but a minivan on the inside (no sliding doors) – it has an aisle so the girls can get to the back seats – PERFECT for 4 young kids. Then you can move up to a suburban in about 6 years when the kids are bigger. If I didn’t get that car, it would have been a mini marriage as in OVER! xxoo

  • anna see says:

    hee hee! welcome to the club!

    just got rid of my minivan. i’ve been driving one since 1987 so it was time. i now have a chevy traverse that seats 7, but it looks smaller, so i’m fooling people. you can’t beat the features on a minivan, though! you’ll just have to keep rocking those cool clothes to show that you are still hip. xo

  • abby says:

    This spinster is clinging to what’s left of my coolness-going to the spa Hugh Jackman owns in Australia. If he’s there I will tell him you all say hi while we’re snuggling and canoodling.

  • Cat says:

    Well, it better be hot pink with flames up the side!
    My husband said something about Green Acres, I was confused, but he’s just shown me some on Youtube. Now I get it?

  • FOUR babies. Wow, that is my dream too. And sometimes I force that dream to fit my old lifestyle, and haul my two babies into the city only to be reminded that I no longer fit there. Usually that reminder comes in the way of a restaurant telling me they don’t allow strollers nor do they have high chairs. Okay, get it, go back to the country, they’re saying.

  • Jen says:

    How about a VW Bus? Hmmm I guess they don’t make those anymore. That’s what my parents had with 5 of us, and a station wagon, back in the pre-car seat days. WHy is it that the words “minivan” and “soccer mom” make city moms cringe?

  • Michelle says:

    We just got the new Sienna with the Navigation Sysytem, I LOVE it!! (I will admit however that this is my second mini van and I loved the first one) Whatd oes their new commerical say???? “Mommy Like!”

  • Laura says:

    Ah, I know what you mean about NOT being a minivan girl… but maybe you can make it the girl-mobile, and it will be really fun. (Are you having girls or boys? This could cause a gender identity crisis… kidding!) I bet the girls would love it if you had some pretty flower decals, and you could replace the normal floor mats with cute little round mats (I saw some at Target the other day and wished I had children because a non-Mom buying them would be frankly ridiculous. lol)… okay, so I’m maybe exaggerating but relax. Don’t think stodgy, think party van. πŸ™‚

  • traci says:

    What? The whole over sized suv next to the eco fabulous one was to contradictory for you? This is all fine and dandy, but the minute you say you are trading your Hudosn’s for Lee’s-I will not read you any longer.

  • francine Kasen says:

    I’m getting nervous….what exactly constitutes Mom Jeans?? BTW I’ve had a van longer than anyone (except Kelso) and I love it! My golf clubs are in the back, I have a portable camping toilet (for emergencies only) also waaayyy in the back. I recently delivered 200 pairs of shoes to a drop point for Haiti. It took up 5 gigantic lawn bags to hold them. I can pull my son’s sailboat to a beach or lake, It takes us to dog tournaments all over the east coast. I can change from my work clothes into my golf clothes without anyone seeing into the back windows I can nap on the bench seat while waiting for whatever I’m waiting for, and I can load 6 cool friends, with their mom jeans on, and hit the city for a show and dinner!!! It’s my tree house on wheels and I will ALWAYS have one! This latest van is a chrysler town & country and has 197,000 mile on it! And it drives like a luxury car!! Give me my van, or give me DEATH!!!

  • Tully's Mama says:

    I swore I’d never be the minivan mom but I rock that hooptie with all my might. Own it and love it, Kelc.

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    When you buy a mini van, you also get a 2nd car – a Porche convertible which is your ‘fun’ car….and only holds 2 adults…no children. Get the idea?

  • Kim says:

    Mini vans have come a long way Mama! I’ve been told that once you go mini van, you don’t go back! Enjoy and Congrats!!!!!

  • Allison Teweles says:

    Go for ALL the bells and whistles. It will cushion the blow. Plus, you can stretch out and fall sleep when you take the kids to [insert activity here]. Can’t do that in a mini Cooper.

  • CaliKim says:

    Forget the MINIVAN!! I have an Acura MDX..and I am 1 person with NO famiy. its a 7 seater!! Get something like that. Don’t bow down to the mini-van. Mini-Vans are so uncool and suck!!! SUV’s with lots of seats are soooooooo cool! I promise you. If you’ve NEVER listened to a word I’ve said before, at least listen to this. NO MINIVAN!!!!!

  • Erin says:

    I made the switch from a compact to a minivan with the arrival of baby #2 – love it! Don’t forget you not only need room to tote 4 kids around, you need room for all their “stuff” too! And what about when one of your kids’ friends need a ride home from dance class, soccer, etc? You’ve got room! I hope you love it or at least like it a lot!

  • Lisa says:

    When we saw our 2 heartbeats, after I yelled out “You’re freakin’ kidding me?!” to the ultrasound tech I looked over at my husband and said “We are getting a mini-van.” It makes life so easy – don’t fight it!

  • anymommy says:

    Minivans are awesome. I don’t care what cool people say. And OMIGOD. HOW DID I MISS THE TWINS THING????!!!

    Congratulations a million times.


  • Denise says:

    Really Kelcey it’s a practical car, it happens to many people (just not me, lol). You aren’t a man with a small penis going through a mid life crisis. You are a practical mom of 4! Embrace and celebrate the doors opening with one button!!!

  • red pen mama says:

    I am about 6 weeks pregnant, and we already have two kids, and this is actually my worst nightmare. That I will be having twins (I’m sick enough for twins) and we will have to buy a minivan.

    How pathetic is that? I figure I can get away with a wagon or smallish SUV with only one more. But twins is going to push us right over. And also give my husband a nervous breakdown.

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