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Dear Santa,

Yeah, I saw you at the mall. I know, at first, I pretended not to. But how should I put this? I just felt sort of bad for you. I mean, who stuck you there a week before Thanksgiving? Not a kid in sight. Just you and that depressed elf photographer pacing back and forth.

I rushed by you the first time. I had to get to Old Navy to return something. The new fleece I bought my 5 year old apparently “felt funny in the arms.” That was her assessment. Despite the fact that she has the same exact fleece in a different color.  So that time I just pretended not to see you. You know, because of the Old Navy emergency.

But on my way back, dang it, you caught my eye. You smiled and waved. My heart broke for you in your freshly pressed red outfit and shiny boots, so lonely in your little Christmas wonderland.  I wanted to do something, anything to help you. But look, I’m not sitting on your lap. The children are coming. I promise. Let the pilgrims have their day and then it’s all you, man.

Although, of course, MY kids won’t be coming to visit you because umm… how should I put this… they don’t like you. Please don’t take this personally. They love all the toys you bring. They just don’t want to get anywhere near you.

So they’ll be corresponding via mail. Or email. Or maybe they’ll tweet you. The point is, they are going to keep their distance. I’ll just give you a heads up right now that Dylan definitely does not want a fleece from Old Navy.

And Santa, one more thing…

Can I have an SLR camera? Because I have a blog. And well, my photos sort of suck and it’s embarrassing really.  But if things are tight with the economy and you can’t do it, no big thing big fellow.


That mom who blew you off at the mall

mama bird notes:

There is one place where the Christmas spirit is in full swing… the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. Click here for my review and discount tickets. And no, I’m not a circus/show addict. I swear. I’m not.

28 Responses to my letter to santa

  • Abby Siegel says:

    It’s times like this I’m glad I”m Jewish. The Hanukkah Fairy still hasn’t shown his truth self and we get 8 presents. Plus I don’t have to sit on any old man’s lap and risk getting poked.

  • hokgardner says:

    My girls want nothing to do with Santa in person, either. Once I made the mistake of taking them on an outing and standing in line for close to an hour to see Santa, who really was a very good Santa, only to have the girls refuse to go near him. We have a picture of me kneeling next to Santa with the girls on the OTHER side of me trying to creep away slowly, not a smile in sight.

  • Terra says:

    I am so with you! Santa wants to bring me a camera but he doesn’t know what kind to buy for me and neither do I (santa being my mother in this case) sad isn’t it

  • Cat says:

    I’ve been wanting an SLR for ages, but first it was my brakes, then my tires/alignment, boots, and bushings. Now it’s my springs and suspension after that I’m hoping for a new windshield. Yeah I know, it would have saved money buying something new but I love my car so much, you just cant beat an older volvo.

  • ErinB says:

    Katherine is way more excited about the escalators at the mall than poor santa…she doesnt really “get it” yet…good for me I guess :}

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Personally I celebrate Festifus for the rest of us….and I don’t mind sitting on some old man’s lap…if he can hold the weight.

  • Megan says:

    I don’t have a picture of my girls on Santa’s lap either. One photo of them reaching out to hand Santa a candy cane. Maybe this year, but I’m not counting on it. Happy Thanksgiving!

  • jolynn says:

    yea, my boy’s were afraid of “the real thing”….I always wondered, is it because they were bad and he know’s something I don’t!!

  • HaB says:

    Madaline is deathly afraid of Santa – and the whole hype of gotta sit on his lap to have a picture taken. I mean it hard enough to get my daughter to sit on my own lap and I am the one that gave birth to her. But, every year, at the very last minute, my own mother guilts me into taking her, because Grammy NEEDS to have a picture of her granddaughter on Santa’s lap – and off we go. And, the entire time we are there, all I can think about is how 20 years from now, my daughter will be laying on a therapist’s couch recounting how I forced her to sit on the lap of a red suited fat man against her will and the trauma…oh the trauma it has caused her.

  • Kim says:

    I so thought that I was going to scroll down, and see you sitting on Santa’s lap!!!!! I hope SANTA reads your blog, and grants you a shinny new camera! LOL

  • My boys don’t believe the Santa in the stores in the “real Santa”. Probably because I told them that. Because when I was a kid, he freaked me out, so I didn’t want them to be freaked out either.

    My 2yr old, after seeing him the other day, and after I’d explained it was the “real Santa” keeps saying, “I don’t want him to come to my house.” Christmas Eve should be interesting.

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kelcey kintner