Yeah, I saw you at the mall. I know, at first, I pretended not to. But how should I put this? I just felt sort of bad for you. I mean, who stuck you there a week before Thanksgiving? Not a kid in sight. Just you and that depressed elf photographer pacing back and forth.
I rushed by you the first time. I had to get to Old Navy to return something. The new fleece I bought my 5 year old apparently “felt funny in the arms.” That was her assessment. Despite the fact that she has the same exact fleece in a different color. So that time I just pretended not to see you. You know, because of the Old Navy emergency.
But on my way back, dang it, you caught my eye. You smiled and waved. My heart broke for you in your freshly pressed red outfit and shiny boots, so lonely in your little Christmas wonderland. I wanted to do something, anything to help you. But look, I’m not sitting on your lap. The children are coming. I promise. Let the pilgrims have their day and then it’s all you, man.
Although, of course, MY kids won’t be coming to visit you because umm… how should I put this… they don’t like you. Please don’t take this personally. They love all the toys you bring. They just don’t want to get anywhere near you.
So they’ll be corresponding via mail. Or email. Or maybe they’ll tweet you. The point is, they are going to keep their distance. I’ll just give you a heads up right now that Dylan definitely does not want a fleece from Old Navy.
And Santa, one more thing…
Can I have an SLR camera? Because I have a blog. And well, my photos sort of suck and it’s embarrassing really. But if things are tight with the economy and you can’t do it, no big thing big fellow.
That mom who blew you off at the mall
mama bird notes:
There is one place where the Christmas spirit is in full swing… the Radio City Christmas Spectacular. Click here for my review and discount tickets. And no, I’m not a circus/show addict. I swear. I’m not.