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I now have 197 Facebook friends.

My husband has 661.

But I so totally don’t care because MY friends are people I really know and cherish. Well, except for the ones I don’t really remember. Or know. Or cherish.

Like this guy Steve who friended me recently.  We have many mutual friends from graduate school so we obviously knew each other at one point. Except now I have no memory of him. Nothing.

So I immediately confirm him as a friend. I don’t want to insult the guy. Maybe we were close and I’m having some kind of unexplainable, Facebook induced, memory loss.

And then he sends me a Facebook message about everything going on with him… his wife, his child, his job.  And I respond, all super jazzed about all the awesome things happening in his life.

And I give him a brief update on me, which is sort of weird because I’m not sure how close we actually are.

So I leave out stuff like how I’m still watching the new 90210 despite the fact that the show is really giving short shrift to the Peach Pit. 

luke-perryAnd how it totally irks me that somehow Luke Perry can’t find time in his schedule to reprise his role as Dylan. I mean, is Luke Perry really THAT  busy?! I haven’t seen that guy since I rolled up my highwasted, acid washed jean shorts and thought I looked cool.

Clearly, without the miracle of Facebook, Steve and I would have tragically lived our whole lives without ever reconnecting again.

I also recently received a Facebook invite that read, “Please consider joining our law firm’s Group on Facebook.” The invite comes from a sorority sister’s ex-college boyfriend. I haven’t talked to my fellow Pi Phi in years and the last time I saw this frat-boy-turned-attorney was 1992.

Still, it’s super sweet of him to include me in this rockin’ new legal group. I wonder if the law firm of Baker, Tuddleston and Mock has a softball team, because I could totally play shortstop.

And pre-Facebook, one could easily wear the same super adorable outfit to a myriad of events without ever feeling self conscious.

But now, if I just happen to wear the very same silk top to my high school reunion (I’m on the far right)…


AND my Clinton-Gore staff reunion….


I will inevitably be tagged in photos, highlighting my obviously recycled outfit.

Facebook Status Update: Kelcey is… going to give that top a rest.

55 Responses to my facebook friends

  • ella says:

    I totally had a similiar FB experience. Even after asking some “mutual friends” just who the hell the dude was, I had no clue. So I added him. Now I get to see what he’s up to all day and jesus christ I could so care less, but now the trauma of unfriending him is too much pressure, I suppose I’m stuck.
    Facebook should have a free-pass day where you can secretly do a little housecleaning without all the alarms going off.

  • Jennifer H says:

    I look at the class lists from high school and college, and I’m all, “Huh.” (Which ties in nicely to my fear that no one will remember me either.) I’ve had a few awkward moments when someone I don’t remember friends me. I’m sure the reverse is true, also.

  • MN Mama says:

    You have just confirmed my reasons for holding off a few more days (weeks or months) from joining FB.   I have a couple of friends who keep telling me to join but I just honestly feel such pressure.   I don’t want feel mean about saying no to being friends with people but I would prefer to be private about things.  Does that make sense? 

  • Tara says:

    Okay, why am I not a FB friend of yours?  We can email and laugh about Wendi, but I’m not one of your FB friends?  I’m going to “friend” you right now! Speaking of Wendi…check out how many friends SHE has, and we also started a Wendi Lipsich Fan Club page.  If you haven’t joined yet, you better hurry….the free tshirts and Blackberrys are going quickly! 🙂
    Hey sister, I’m a Pi Phi too! From FSU!  I knew you werer an angel!

  • Hope you saved those acid wash jeans as that is all we will be wearing this spring.  I’d probably opt for getting them tailored this time around (as opposed to the tightrolls and safety-pins up the calves).

  • wa says:

    You read what happened to me on Facebook, aka The Manilow Incident.

    And are you going to play law firm softball in that shirt? It’d be really cool if you did.

  • Jen says:

    so funny you write about FB. I never looked at much before this week—i’ve been obsessed with it, so weird and man, what a time suck (i have been endlessly searching for certain people and annoyed when they are not on). i just friended lauren last night…you’re next! xo

  • Terra says:

    and still, I sit here without a Face I mean facebook page, tempting as it may be…I just don’t need anymore friends (I know that sounds really witchy maybe no more friends want me either)

  • Katie says:

    Oh, ok. Good. I was wondering where the other person still watching the new 90210 was hanging out…so glad we can chat. I, too am very upset about Luke, er, Dylan’s absence. And don’t even get me started on Steve Sanders.

  • sam says:

    oh god facebook drives me crazy!!  i am so mad at the guy who told me to join “you’ll love it” he said.  first of all i don’t give a s–t what annabelle from third grade had for breakfast today or that my ex-boyfriend (who i was madly in love with) is now “in a relationship!”  (and the accompanying photos.)  i had the creepiest thing happen where the ex-boyfriend of a friend of mine wanted to friend me (by the way, don’t remember the guy for the LIFE of me!)  she said oh yeah friend him, he said he had something important to tell you.  so i do and the guy sends me this whole thing about how he named his daughter after me and what great memories he has of me.  my response:  “ah, ok…thanks…”  is that creepy or what?
    anyway having said all of that, i am totally addicted and like a bad drug it has sucked me in and i am a slave to it!!  down with facebook!
    CUTE top by the way…

  • Jules says:

    haha.. I love facebook.  I add people I didn’t really know in HS.. just to see what their spouse and kids look like.. then I delete them..  Is that bad?

  • I’m all for wearing things you love over and over. The pictures are just proof of the love. That sounds even more pathetic than I expected it to. Oh well – just tell people it’s your “signature shirt”. Kind of like a signature color – but more specific. Unless of course, you don’t want to be defined by a shirt. Because really – who does?

  • Diane says:

    Well you can send that top my way since your done with it – I’ll finally have some cleavage soon to show it off and it may qualify as a charitable tax deduction – we are all looking hard for those right now!

  • Jordana says:

    I never even thought about the clothes aspect – too funny!!! I recently insulted a friend request. I asked if how we knew each other and he wrote back that we were friends in college and had several mutual friends and were in “three or four” classes together. Then ended it by saying, “Never mind Jordi” (and to think w/out FB – I may have forgotten the whole ‘Jordi’ thing). Of course I quickly apologized, blamed it on too many drugs in college and friended him. And thank God we’ve reconnected because I could not imagine life without him. Oh, like last week – yeah, I guess I could.

  • Oh – and the top is cute. Can I borrow it?

    JK, I don’t even know you, I’m mean, we’re not FB friends or anything are we? Maybe we are and I’ve just blocked the whole sordid memory. 😉

    And I love FB – it’s like a class reunion without the awkwardness. And I hate the poking and crap, but I like the connections. It’s fun.

  • Robyn says:

    My husband is always rubbing my face in the fact that he has WAY more FB friends than me. But, I’m picky. If I knew you for 1/2 a second, you will NOT have access to my FB page.

    And, I kind of like the power…

  • I was so pissed when my homecoming date from senior year in h.s. befriended me, then when I was all, “hey! homecoming senior year! such sweet, sweet memories,” he was all “I don’t think we went to homecoming together,” and I was, “Yes we did too! I have a picture you idiot,” then I thought maybe I was unmemorable or something, even though I let him go to second base and a man should remember stuff like that.

    So…pretty much, FB exacerbates my identity crisis.

    Also, if you want, I can make that silk shirt a different color in Photoshop so it looks like a different shirt.

    You let me know.

  • Chris says:

    You’re so pretty!  My first time here.  Looks like you have some great contributors.

    Facebook?  It’s still messing with me.  I feel ridiculous referring to myself in third person.  Wasn’t that a Seinfeld episode?

  • Jacquie says:

    I just became friends w/a couple of people from our original playgroup.  I miss you guys!  I need to look everyone up! Facebook is weird, I have one “friend” and one relative who are uber-conservative, and I really don’t want to see or hear their weird posts, videos, etc, but I don’t feel like I can “unfriend” them either.

  • misty says:

    i am laughing out loud over my captain crunch. FUNNY!
    Was he really offered the role? What about Brian Austin Green? I would totally DVR the show then. 
    Luke Perry had that windfall show a couple of summers ago…

    I love facebook.

  • LarryG says:

    I got on Facebook because of my daughter at college. So I rocked along with 3 or 5 friends for quite a while (a year of more?) then…
    someone in scouts found out, then someone at church found out, then someone at work found out, then
    someone where i graduated high school, found out… ad inifinitum…
    now i have 197 friends or something…

    this post was great fun!

  • Lanie says:

    I just checked you are up over 200 on FB.   You are gaining on Rick.  I have recently had some FB etiquette dilemmas as well.  Great post!  🙂

  • Aimee says:

    I have become an addict of facebook and it is so not funny! I love reading and snooping, and finding people that were once “to cool” for me..so not 🙂
    Who ever needs a real reunion with something like facebook out there! 
    Imagine when our kids are adults what they will have for them! It is crazy how we lived without the internet, and cell phones growing up and actually LIVED!

  • Jodi says:

    For real.  I have “friends” whom I supposedly went to high school with but I don’t remember them at all.  Didn’t want to hurt feelings by not friending, though.  Especially since one is a cop.

  • christy says:

    Too funny. I love my facebook friends, most of them – the ones I remember liking, anyway. 🙂 I recently ignored a couple of friend requests and kind of feel bad about it, but I definitely did not LIKE these people in high school so why should I friend them now? Great post.

  • wendi says:

    you know I am loving this entry – I know Hugo inspired part of this!  You have definitely made me rethink my wardrobe choices – hope noone looks at my pics that closely!

  • I can top it. I just got a friend offer from someone I went to high school with, she set up the acct for her boyfriend (whom I have never met, not to mention I haven’t seen HER in oh 17 years). Well, she wanted her friends to be his friends so he could have his account up and running and not look like a loser. 

    Hello, bizarre! Denied! Ha!

  • I totally understand. I have people FB stalking me, constantly requesting friendship when other than being a spouse of a high school chum, we have nothing else in common. I block them. I just can’t be bothered! (Yeah, I’m kinda bee-otchy like that.)

    P.S. Doesn’t Dylan know that mullets went with the acid-washed Zenas?!

  • I’m happy and honored you are my Facebook friend.

    That’s so funny about the top because I feel like I’m always wearing black in all my pictures.  Then again, I guess that’s because I am… always wearing black.  Sigh.

  • johanna says:

    keep the shirt!! 
    Erin is trying to bribe me onto Facebook…not sure I really want those past people to now be present day people! 

  • At least your dude wanted to reconnect.  I am new to Facebook and I don’t get the friend requests from people who then don’t talk to you.  Or worse… I have one pending (can’t bring myself to click) from a girl who jilted me in 7th grade.  She was my BFF, but apparently her idea of F was until Courtney stole her away.  Not that I am bitter… still…  15 years later…

  • Yeah, FB definitely has it’s pros and cons.  Like, now, we’re all going to “friend” you!  Ha!

    But, seriously, do you ever miss those high-waisted shorts?  I used to, but now I can’t imagine going back.  Just wait–you know it’s coming one of these years.  Maybe just in time for the high school reunion with random FB friends.

  • Oz says:

    Oh, Facebook and I have a love/hate relationship.  Well, that’s how I feel about Facebook.  How it feels about me is still unclear…

    Oh, and let me say that two Ks as intials is different than two F’s.  The letter F is just not as striking as the letter K, and F.F. makes me think of F— Face.  

  • calikim says:

    So my live feed told me your husband JUST accepted 13 new friends. You….accepted 1!!! You are right…he is a FB Whore!

  • Cadenza says:

    What I don’t get are the guys that pick you up on one site and then want to be your facebook friend even though they originally only wanted a fling.
    The married guy was the worst. . found out after I developed a thing for him, then foolishly accepted his friend invite.  Now I get to read his status updates and see his wife’s cutesy replies . . .  and read between the lines then.
    She tells him he’s not to have fun on trips to conferences, he replies that he’s missing the family terribly, that he looks forward to being “back in a happy home.”   
    It’s day 3 and I want to barf, at him, at my foolishness, and hope I can delete him.

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kelcey kintner