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So poor little 2 year-old Summer is sick with this gross stomach bug.

After a long night of throwing up and diarrhea (I know, I’m sorry), she woke up and demanded one thing.

For her nails to be painted blue.

I didn’t have any blue nail polish, so she settled for pink.

Hey, whatever helps that girl freshen up and feel better, is fine by me. I wonder if she’ll tweeze my eyebrows in return because that’s becoming a seriously pressing situation.

This weekend, I ignored my wild, furry eyebrows and instead focused on the Christmas tree.

Christmas trees after the holidays are so pathetic, aren’t they?

Those festive ornaments and lights just look so cheap and tawdry on January 1st. Honestly, they really start to lose their shine on the 26th but out of kindness and pity, we let them hang in there til January.

And I’m still bitter that tree never filled my apartment with the holiday scent of evergreen. I don’t know what went wrong. The 10 year-old sales girl Ava absolutely promised this type of tree was extremely fragrant.

Yet, another reason not to trust 10 year-olds.

Now what’s the re-sale value of my tree? Can I unload this thing for some cash?

Because when I was in Memphis, I saw this sign at a nursery…


2 days AFTER Christmas.

Maybe it’s like an early bird special for Christmas 2009.  You know, get your holiday cards, wrapping and dried out Christmas tree with brittle branches – all 50% off.

Anyway, just so you know, my tree is out on the curb on 12th street. You can leave the money with my doorman.

If you fail to take advantage of this incredible opportunity, my tree will be recycled into mulch at the city’s MulchFest 2009. How fun and crazy does that sound? Before you head over, there’s no beer or music, just mulch. But maybe that’s your scene.

Speaking of recycling, the other day I was in-line behind one of my neighbors at the grocery store. Noticing all his plastic bags, I casually mentioned in a super friendly way, “Hey, you should get some reusable bags. ”

He nodded in agreement but I’m absolutely sure he was thinking, “Is that the know-it-all girl in my building who is actually trying to sell her Christmas tree?”

Anyway, I was feeling all environmentally smart and superior, until I realized that I left all my reusable bags at home.  Being an environmentalist is completely exhausting.

mama bird notes:

If you live in the nyc area, click on drooling over this, to read my review of “Dear Edwina.” It’s a musical comedy for kids and adults. No… it’s not about dinosaurs.

And if you’ve enjoyed my tales of Dylan’s portable potty and our consistent trips to the Whole Foods bathroom, you must read the latest post from Bernthis.  It’s hilarious. And exactly the kind of experience that just seems to only happen in this city.

26 Responses to mulchfest ’09

  • I’ll pass on the dead tree, but thanks so much for the offer.  The pink nail polish, however, hmmm…that I’d consider.  But only if you brought it over in a reusable bag, of course. 

    Hope Summer feels better fast.

  • Cathy says:

    Being green is exhausting–I can’t tell you how many fricking times I’ve left my reusable bags in my car. I did get one that folds up in my purse, which helps.

    I hope Summer feels better–blue nail polish–way cool!

  • anymommy says:

    We didn’t get a tree this year, so no recycling necessary.  Does that mean I get a pass on the fact that I never ever remember my reusable bag?  That cracked me up!

  • kristen says:

    poor summer. now if it was you, i’d probably be jealous thinking of my favorite line from the devil wears prada…”i’m one stomach flu away from my perfect dress size…” KIDDING (kind of).

    we keep our bags in the car and i’m sure you can guess how many times the mister forgets to bring them in with him.

    BUT, i don’t do any complaining because he does all the grocery shopping (a job i loathe), follows my elaborate and annoying lists to a T, so this beggar won’t be a chooser.  In his defense, at least he’s trained to take the paper bags which we recycle for the paper portion of recycling day here in my suburban oasis.

  • Robyn says:

    I am SWIMMING in reusable bags because I always leave them at home and then I feel guilty about using plastic so I buy new ones.

    It IS exhausting (and expensive).

  • Marinka says:

    I  think it’s ok to use plastic bags if you re-use them for trash. Plus, they make fun toys for kids!  (Disclaimer for the weak-minded:  NO, THEY DO NOT!)

  • Jennifer H says:

    I bet if my grocery story started charging for the plastic or paper bags, I’d remember mine more often (my average is about 70% of the time). 

    Hope Summer feels better. And that you get a windfall for that tree.  🙂

  • Betsy says:

    We forget our bags regularly also.  I don’t know why.  Whe lived in Germany for 3 years where they charged for bags.  You better believe that we always had the canvas bags with us.  But here, not so often. (At least the school gets money back for the bags we turn in.)

    I am also staring at my Christmas tree, I can see it from my computer.  My mother-in-law broke her leg on her holiday visit with us extending her stay.  She cannot even put weight on it for 11 more weeks.  With all of the extra doctors, etc. I will be happy if I get the tree down by Jan 1 2010.  (OK maybe February of this year)

  • Rhea says:

    So, here’s my question for you:  Are your reusable bags designer or plain? 

    Because I’ve seen both here in Texas, and I’m curious what the trend is in New York.

  • Rhea says:

    BTW, I’m so sorry Summer is sick. 

    One of my boys just had the same virus…and I wrote a bad country song about it, which is my blog post today. 

    It’s groan out loud baaaaad.

  • jessica Bern says:

    Okay, what is your address? I’m sending you a pine scented candle immediately.  

    Thanks for the “shout out”. Yeah, I’ve got the “lingo” down even though “shout out” is so 2006. 

  • patois says:

    I religiously use the reusable bags. It’s my husband who just as religiously keeps adding to my plastic bag pile-up. Thank goodness we have a pooping dog to clean up after.

  • johanna says:

    I’m trying to break Neil of the 9 plastic bags a week habit he has with the groceries. He says its too embarrassing to carry a reusable bag around (what??!!)) Since he voluntarily offers to grocery shop for us I’m not arguing with him too strongly (sorry green world)… yet. They’ll start charging for the plastic ones soon I”m sure so then he’ll be the first to revoke the payments and use my canvas ones!

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    If you’re so ‘into recycling and being green’, how come you don’t just buy one pretty fake tree and use it every year over and over again with pine spray scent?  It can also be passed down to one of your girls who decides not to be Jewish.

  • Lanie says:

    Atlanta recycles the trees into mulch too and downtown is filled with the “holiday scent of evergreen”.  Kelc, stick some of the envirosax bags I gave you in your purse and you will never forget your reusable bags again.  Great post!

  • I have tons of those bags, but I never remember to take them into the store!!  I do use them all the time, though. 

    Maybe that guy uses those bags to crochet welcome mats for his apartment?  You never know…

    Our Christmas trees always go into the woods in the back of the house; I know some woodland creature is snuggling up into that baby as I type.  In a way, I hope I left an ornament on it, providing charming home decor for the little guy.

    BTW, sorry, but I can’t resist telling you that I laughed at the hyphen you put in “in-line” behind that guy at the store. A sign of the times… 🙂

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kelcey kintner