This was the first greeting I got from my husband and children on Mother’s Day.
Via text message at 8:24 am (because who needs Hallmark when you have texting).
“Happy Mother’s Day! We’re locked out so call us if you get this. We love you.”
Then my cell phone rang. Three times.
Then the knocking began.
Ok, ok…I’m up. I got it. Mother’s Day is on. Full on. Right now.
I’m glad I let those persistent buggers in because Rick and the girls lavished me with gifts and roses and caffeine. Then we went to our favorite diner and walked home in the brisk sunshine. In a universe of millions, these are my two favorite little hands to hold.
But there is something that always makes me a little uncomfortable about Mother’s Day.
It’s the day I feel like my relationship with my own mother is just not good enough. Shouldn’t we be like girlfriends, always shopping and laughing and lunching and pedicuring? Shouldn’t we be talking on the phone everyday, discussing whether McDreamy should be with Rose or Meredith. Like two peas in a maternal pod?
But we aren’t. She has never heard of Meredith or Rose. And long chats on the phone? Not exactly my thing.
So where do we connect? Especially on this holiday that expects so much from us.
Perhaps somewhere along the Hudson River.
Rick took the kids to New Jersey to see his family and my mother and I roller bladed along the water.
We skated and talked. And maybe it wasn’t a greetings card. Maybe we didn’t bond like they do in those effervescent Mother’s Day commercials. But it felt real.
I know sometimes we both wish it was different. That maybe if we could dart back in time, fix things somehow… erase divorce and limitations and our own strikingly different chemistry… then we could somehow be more alike. More intertwined.
Or maybe one must slowly let go of the past. Try to release those mother-daughter expectations. And realize, it’s ok to be different. It’s ok to just be ourselves.
Today I expressed, to my mother, my true joy that she is off on her next adventure, to pursue a degree in social work.
She shared how proud she feels to watch the woman and the mother I’ve become.
And she was an enormous part of that…. this me that now exists. And for that mom, I am truly grateful.
And maybe in the end, that was the gift of this day.
mama bird notes
Time for the mama’s survival kit giveaway! It includes decadent, organic homemade chocolates from nunu chocolates, organic coffee from Grounds for Change, and some eco friendly, fabulous wine from Parducci. No, I’m sorry Erin, sadly it doesn’t come with a nanny. Darn, I should have thought of that.
To enter to win, just leave a comment this week on the mama bird diaries.