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I can not handle the mornings around here.

First of all, there is the repugnant act of actually waking up.

Then all the ridiculousness of getting kids dressed, nursed, fed, changed, sprayed with natural lice repellent.  And then the seemingly simple task of getting Dylan and Summer’s coats on and ushering them to the car.

First they plead, “We are playing school. We need a couple more minutes.”

“You want to be late for school because you are playing school?! Seriously? Get your jackets on.”

No matter what the temperature, Dylan and Summer must locate just the right winter accessories… like gloves, scarves, hats, ear muffs, neck warmers, ski pants, that sort of thing.

Then they just can’t find the right mittens despite my insistence to GET IN THE CAR. NOW.

Then the crying over something. The mittens? A toy? The destruction of the rain forests? I can’t remember what. I’m sure it’s important.

And finally, finally everyone gets in the minivan.

But I have to run back in because we forgot the backpacks.

And now we are late for kindergarten. So I zoom out of the driveway and immediately run into some kind of object.

Which is thankfully not a car.

But our garbage can.  Although I applaud the sanitation folks for taking the initiative to put the empty trash can away, we don’t actually keep it in the middle of the driveway.

After that’s sorted out, I high tail it to school, park and we hustle Dylan into the building.  RELIEF. Until we get back in the car and I look at Summer’s feet. She is wearing these…

She insists they are shoes. I say, they are slippers. The fact that she can’t really walk in them is a definite point in my favor. And now her feet are wet from the grass because she is wearing knitted shoes. Or knitted slippers. Or whatever. It doesn’t matter because she needs something else on her feet.

So we race home, grab another pair of shoes, get back in the car and fly to school because we are now LATE for preschool.

I get Summer to school and then book home to nurse the twins.

I’m exhausted. It’s 9:30 am.

The Very Next Day:

Ditto everything I said above. Except the trash can incident. Because it’s not trash day.

And as soon as we drop off Dylan, I notice Summer is wearing these…


I need to look at my kid’s feet BEFORE we leave the house. I’m torn between letting her live with the repercussions of wearing snow boots with no change of shoes (hot feet and a bitch of time trying to sit criss-cross applesauce) or running home to grab another pair.   My feet feel itchy just looking at her so I tear home. We are a little late to school but her feet can breathe. Which means I can breathe.

I run home to nurse the twins.

I’m exhausted. It’s 9:30 am.

49 Responses to mornings suck

  • Mwa says:

    My brain just exploded. I have the same thing going on, only we walk and I only have one to nurse. That’s plenty for me.

    I’m so glad I didn’t think about the snow boots, though. Sent my 2 1/2 yr old to school in them last week with no change of shoes. Oops. At least for once I didn’t have to walk all the way back home to get her something because I’m evil that way.

    (Sorry words not coming out too well due to baby-related lack of sleep.)

  • Marinka says:

    Do not look at their feet. Whatever you do, avert eyes from their feet. (Seriously, when I looked at that picture, I thought you were worried about the torn tights. Whew!)

  • Diane says:

    I keep extra shoes in my car now due to the many occasions that we have arrived at destination to find shod-less children. I have to keep in 4 sizes, both gender. Now, though, if Danielle forgets I give her mine. What sacrifice I can say someday when I need some guilt leverage ‘I gave you the best years of my life and the shoes off my feet!’ Hang in there. I’d like to say it gets better when they get older but since I can’t, I won’t.

  • Susan says:

    I know how you feel each morning. I have three to get ready every morning including special medicine, an eye patch, glasses and one child who hates long sleeves when it’s freezing out. Then the bus comes at 6:38 am.

  • beachgirl says:

    Woke up exhausted, read this, didn’t feel so exhausted after all 🙂

    How about arriving at the local shopping mall only to discover your 3 year old had NO shoes on at all…..a quick side trip to the gap solved the problem but the greater question was “how could I have missed something so obvious as a pair of shoes”…or not:)

  • Meg D says:

    Hahaha! Love that you can make me laugh at what was stressing me out an hour ago.

    On the shoe thing: when LJ was 14 months old we were headed from the City to Montauk and we got all the way to East Hampton before I realized he had no shoes on. And I’d forgotten to pack any. None! Luckily we found the only reasonably priced place out there with flip flops.

  • CSY says:

    Yeah, I SO remember those days…but I only have 3 and NO twins! It actually DOES get better – but then you’ll be yelling at them to GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM! Can you tell I have a teenage daughter?

  • Robyn says:

    Getting out of the house with kids is the worst! All the parents and children and the bus stop in front of my house got to see me yell at my 4 year old to get in the car! sit down! get buckled in! Watch me drive away. Watch me come back, run in the house and come back out with my purse. Awesome!

  • Sandrine says:

    At least now I feel I’m not alone in the morning craziness and Tengo wears a uniform which helps a lot…We got to school the other day and totally forgot it was “wear a funny hat day” so I knew Tengo would be scarred for the rest of his life if i didn’t run back home so I did and it was the best feeling when I got to the classroom and sneaked it on his head…
    Hang in there and you get best mom award for always going back home and make it right.

  • Valerie says:

    It’s so great to read your posts and realize that I’m not alone! We’re often late for school because my daughter needs “just one more minute” to play with ! I have solved the coat, hat, mittens, shoe/boot problem though. I set them by the door like firemen have theirs at the ready. Shoes, open, ready for feet to plop in, coat, hat, mittens, all set up and ready to put on. Backpack to the side.

    Now the boys, they go in whatever they’re in. But they don’t typically have to get out of the car. I’m sure one day that’ll be really nuts. But for now I don’t stress over the footed construction PJs shoved in my daughter’s Ugg boots from last year and the twins still being in their footed sleepers.

    And, be thankful it was just your garbage can. Recently I’ve demolished a scooter and a tricycle. Such sad times were had by all.

  • Jen says:

    Great insight into your mornings K! Morning craziness is the worst. Esp when I’m alone, 2 different schools 1/2 hour away from each other, and I forget Luke’s lunch bag. He won’t have his beloved cheese tortellini – do I go back 1/2 hour to get it, then another 1/2 hour to get to the school? No, I got get him fries and snack food near his school. I won’t be winning any awards anytime soon!

  • Sanderita says:

    Way too many memories in that post ;)) AND – they wonder why we get into the ‘household management stress fluid’ {AKA WINE} in the evenings!
    I remember a time when I had just HAD IT {stuck at home with 4 kids}, so loaded them into the urban assault vehicle and took off to the mall. As I was trying to maneuver the freakin’ double stoller through the turning doors at the mall, I looked down – and guess who was wearing her Big Floppy slippers with a PIG head on the toes? WHATEVER – I walked the mall anyways!

  • Erica says:

    I keep a pair of shoes in the car along with diapers, wipes, change of clothes, a blanket and enough food for a weekend! I also have a pair of shoes in the cubby at preschool.

  • Jen says:

    I know. Just ONCE I would like to be able to get my 7yr old out the door for hockey practice without yelling at him. One time. Why do they immediately slow down when you yell at them to hurry up…

  • Ella says:

    The sad truth: Soon they will wear you out. You will give up. Surrender.
    And they will live. Yes, you will be the mom who “let them go to school like that”, but fuck it. those other moms don’t have 4 kids. And that my friend will always be your get-out-of-jail-free card…forever!

  • I didn’t notice the hole in the tights until I read the comments. However, now I remember why I used to fantasize about missing my exit and driving to Mexico whenver I was alone in the car.

  • amourningmom says:

    It is crazy how much stuff little people need in the winter. It is also crazy the things they come up with so they can procrastinate going places. Thank goodness were are not crazy :-). . .

  • ErinB says:

    HA! I hate mornings. We can never get ANYWHERE on time…and I have ONE child! ONE!!!!! I am so screwed when this baby gets here.

  • Leigh Ann says:

    Remember the post about Love and Logic? Totally would have made her wear those shoes all day. But that’s easy for me to say because I still clothe and shoe my kids.

  • johanna says:

    You are such a good mom to go back for shoes!! Amazing how just going to school turns into a rat race everyday for all of us.

  • What is it with little kids and shoes? My daughter is only two but we must go through six pairs of shoes a day. And as soon as we’ve finally gotten the Dora shoes on, we NEED the Abby Cadabby slippers, or the Thomas grippez, or her kitty rain boots, or —

    My God. It never ends.

    (Your daughter is a cutie!)

  • Ha! At least they’re wearing gender appropriate clothing. Because my boy and girl are so close in age, my son wedges his feet into her shoes all the time. There is no horror like arriving to Montessori to see your son wearing electric pink jellies. And I don’t have time to go back!

  • Cherie says:

    Ok what is a natural Lice Repellent spray? I caught lice as a teenager from babysitting a kid who unbeknownst to me had it and now I am terrified of my kids getting it. I remember feeling them crawling around my head…agh!!

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Start a ‘shoe closet’ in the van, and they get in without shoes on and pick something in the van…’wrong shoes’??? pick another pair.

  • Issa says:

    I despise mornings. My oldest argues about clothes until I finally say, where whatever you want, but you have to wear clothes. My middle kid can’t ever locate two matching shoes. My youngest thinks he needs every matchbox car he owns in the car with him.

    Yeah. Can’t it be summer break now?

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kelcey kintner