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Nov
20
2009

I’m not very good at mingling. Because I find small talk kind of soul crushing. But I’m in a new town so I give it my best effort. Ok, I give it my mediocre effort.

I recently went to a super cute event at an organic body shop where we all sipped wine, got a complimentary beauty treatment and mingled.

Several women were talking about a book they had all read for a recent book club and I’m just listening and flying under the radar because I haven’t read it. And then one of the women (let’s call her Darcy) suddenly turns to me and says,

“Do you like to read books?”

And I say, “Umm… I pretty much read newspapers and magazines,” hoping that she assumes “Wall Street Journal” and “The New Yorker” rather than the more accurate “New York Post” and “Elle.”

I really wish I said, “I pretty much stick to non-fiction,” which is sort of true because when I do read a book, it’s usually non-fiction. But the moment passed and it seemed pathetic to clarify my answer.

And then somehow the conversation turns to Darcy’s evening habits and she shares that she doesn’t watch TV because there is nothing on and she goes to bed at 9 pm and reads.

And I’m transfixed by this statement.

Nothing on? But “Gossip Girl” just got a bit steamy. And we are close to figuring out “The Melrose Place” killer and “Accidentally on Purpose” is a super cute sitcom. And Rick and I loved the first season of “Bored to Death” on HBO and the finale of “Project Runway” is this week. You mean, this gal Darcy doesn’t even know that Irina, the “PR” meanie, will probably win “Project Runway” despite that fact that Nina thinks an all black collection is a fashion don’t?

What kind of life is that?! These shows are like my brain candy after a long day with the kids.

But I say nothing. Luckily, I have one friend there who understands and gives proper respect to the CW.

After my mini facial (which was this holistic, zen experience like no other facial I’ve ever experienced), it’s time to eat super fab chocolate and then head home.

We say goodbye to Darcy who encourages us to come to the next book club meeting.

“When you start a movie club, I’m your girl!” I joke back.

And then I realize…

1. I am really not kidding at all. A movie club would be awesome.

2. Darcy thinks I’m a moron. The next time I run into her, I’m totally mentioning that I have a graduate degree.

3. Darcy will think I’m a moron with a graduate degree.

4. Luckily, I have plenty of friends on the CW.


43 Responses to mingling for beginners

  • Abby Siegel says:

    Ah. I should have been there to explain to Darcy the joy and happiness GG and MP bring to our lives. She is missing out by reading her intellectual books and then talking about them. Boring! Speaking of which Debbie’s husband Mike is a writer/producer on Accidentally On Purpose.

  • Kathy says:

    I totally get how you felt! First and only time I went to coffee with other Mom’s form my daughter’s International School they all talked about their worn torn Countries and how life is so dangerous with bombings etc..I just was used to talking about American Idol and Dancing with the Stars I think I sat there with my mouth open. Haven’t been invited back!

  • Kathy says:

    Loved this post! TV rocks! I mean, think of how horrible it was in the 70s and 80s, Love Boat and Alf. The stuff that ‘s on now is movie quality (Lost!)

    Incidentally, I had someone tell me to my face that reading non-fiction must be so boring. So there is a reason why you should keep your reading preferences to yourself. It doesn’t always end well.

    p.s. I don’t want Irina to win either.

  • ~Laura says:

    So funny! I know how you feel. Sometimes, you don’t want to develop your mind at 9:00 at night, Darcy. It deserves a rest after a long day with the kids. Don’t forget the show Modern Family. I love that for my brain candy!

  • Crystal says:

    THANKFULLY my kids aren’t too little anymore – I LOVE READING!!! I blame it on my Grandmother in California…she made me do book reports during the summer! She was an English teacher – ‘fore she became a grandma, apparently.
    Did you say MOVIE club? Can I join? Even tho I live WAY south of you? You could hold the meetings on-line…

  • Tara says:

    When at a meeting yesterday someone suggested we do a book exchange for our holiday gift exchange, I mentioned I’d be bringing my stack of People magazines!

  • trifitmom says:

    i really do not like those ladies who say i don’t watch tv – well good for you – you boring soul !!!

    i am a tv addict and proud and i have a graduate degree and guess what I manage to read books as well …..

  • Jen says:

    Movie club is the best idea ever– man, do I miss going to the movies in NYC! We LOVED Bored to Death — Ted Danson stole the first season. My neighbors look at me like I’m a degenerate when I tell them True Blood is my favorite show. What’s up with my local Texans, they don’t get into soft-port vampire soaps?

  • MN Mama says:

    Oh goodness…. moving is difficult. Hang in there friend. You are thoughtful, kind and sincere. You will find friends with whom you have things in common. I say start the movie club!

  • LB says:

    You are NOT alone. Motherhood has made me thankful on a daily basis for both cable and the DVR. And what is this mysterious “book” thing of which you blog? I only read magazine covers while in line at the grocery store. And obviously your blog.

  • Sandrine says:

    In bed at 9pm we haven’t even had diner at that time and books yes that would be nice, if it wasn’t for the subway this past few months I wouldn’t have time to read any…Ok now let’s talk serious stuff…Bored to death is shot in my neighborhood, the coffee shop, the park…think about me when you watch it next time…xox

  • Becky says:

    I’ll join your TV and Movie club! You could Skype me in from WI.

    Darcy is boring and mean. I’m not joining HER club. (and apparently I’m 12 years old today.)

  • francine Kasen says:

    Just joined my first book club ever! Kinda fun, great food, that I must avoid on my diet! Pressure to finish book in time. Nervous about picking when it’s my turn to pick, Hoping my den is as cozy as the last one we met in. By cozy I mean 1/3 the size!! oh fuk! What was I thinking!!??

  • Cat says:

    I neither belong to a book club or own a television. I also don’t have kids, however, I read your page because I find your perspective on life cracks me up.

  • SoMi's Nilsa says:

    When I look at the laundry list of shows we watch on TV, I hang my head in shame. But, then I think about how hard real life is. Working (for me), raising kids (for you), staying out of criminal trouble, or at least not getting caught (both of us) and I think we DESERVE to watch whatever the hell we want on TV. Hell, I just saw sex toy Jenna Jamison interviewed on Oprah and was absolutely impressed with her intelligence. If she can intelligently be proud of all she’s done in the world, then we should not be ashamed by what we watch!

  • kristen says:

    you always make me smile and my bookclubs has readers and television watchers…there’s even non-fiction! so i say, keep looking, you’ll find people that can talk politics and blair waldorf. xoxo, gossip girl.

  • Ann says:

    I have many many comments.

    (cowering) (frightened) I no longer watch tv. We don’t have even have cable. I love tv. I used to sell ads. This was not a monumental life decision. It just happened.

    I think anymore comments from me would now be considered irrelevant.

    Except that my parents have had a movie club for like 20 years and they love it. I will ask if they are accepting new members.

  • Gretchen says:

    I always see myself as a Darcy-like person, and maybe I used to be. But the truth is that nowadays I’m much too worried about America’s Next Top Model to read a book. Must admit that my catnip isn’t the CW, it’s the Syfy (so dorky) channel. I’d take me some Stargate Universe over some high-faluting book club any day.

  • Svroom says:

    Wow, my life is complete now that I made the blog and I didn’t even have to dress up like Rihanna! It was great to hang with you. In honor of you ( and to better my own life) I went home and watched back2back episodes of “bored to Death.” I am glad we are in the Hamlet together. Gossip Girl Rules!

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Too bad ‘Kathy’ doesn’t know it’s ‘war torn’ countries. We used to have a ‘True Crime SIG’ in Mensa (Special Interest Group)…we’d read non-fiction true crime…and it was fascinating….or from the newspapers. Must have done 3 weeks just on O.J. Simpson trial…Do the Movie Group; once in a while throw in a porn movie….and all the husbands will show up.

  • I’m always highly suspect of people who “don’t watch TV.” My husband reads avidly (was a Medieval Lit. major at freakin’ Cambridge) and watches more TV than anyone I know. My point: Not watching TV does not make you seem smarter, it just makes those who say it FEEL smarter.
    Oh, and I haaaaaate small talk, take me to your next gathering (I’m close) and we can talk TV over Pinot.

  • Chris says:

    I’m not a movie person, and I find mingling exhausting, but I hate feeling lonely. You’re doing great. And the Project Runway finale? Predictable, but I still had to watch it. 🙂

  • I don’t actually watch much tv these days, and I’d like to say I’m reading instead, but I’m not really. I mean I kind of am – blogs. Like this one. I’m spending a lot of time blogging, tweeting, being social on the internet.

    Is that sad?

    I like movies though, and I’ve always thought a movie club would be good since I watched the Sopranos and the women had a movie club on that.

    That’s when I watched more tv.

  • Surfie says:

    I would totally love a movie club! I never see enough movies for some reason. This would give me a great reason to make sure I see some. Plus it’s a lot faster than reading, and even if the movie sucks, it only wastes 2 hours of your time. Perfect!

  • Shhhh, I don’t really have any TV shows either. Friends and Seinfeld went off right around the time we had kids, and then there were the years where sleep was more important than breathing.

    I tell myself I need to get a new show or two, but just haven’t yet. What’s wrong with me?

  • Nap Warden says:

    TV is my warm blanket…my warm, glowing, night time blanket:)

    So mad Irina won PR…she was a meanie, and a buzzkill. That said, I totally wanted half of her collection…B*tch!

  • Oz says:

    Maybe you could have a book made into a movie club and everyone would want to join!

    I’d like a movie club, if I could stay awake during movies anymore…

  • Karen Bland says:

    I like to tell people that I’m in a book club (which is true) – however, I attend the club on an ANNUAL basis (as I read almost a book a year) – doesn’t Darcy know about Mad Men?

  • I love to read – but I never do anymore… And I really hate this attitude that people who read don’t watch television. Not very well rounded if you ask me… And you are right – anyone who missed the threesome shocker on GG is missing out. I hated Irina – but she really was good.


kelcey kintner


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