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Obviously we can’t all be as successful as those couples who find eternal love on The Bachelor and The Bachelorette but with a little advice we can all have a better chance of staying together.

These are my best marriage tips and by best I mean, these are the ones I could think of while watching TV and eating whoppers…

Hugging and Planning

Always give your spouse a hug and kiss when they get home from work. But realize this is still a multi tasking opportunity where you can discuss how you finally got that oil change taken care of but the minivan now needs to immediately go back for a required transmission and radiator flushing. Whatever that is. The more car problems, the longer the hug can be!

Saving Money Means Less Marital Stress

Want to save money? Every time your spouse says, “I really really want a new flat screen TV. Ours is so outdated,” you respond, “I really want new granite in the kitchen. Ours is uglier than grandma Helen’s in the 1970s. This is what we call a marital standstill and it will prevent you from doing anything, thus saving money which reduces marital stress.

Watch Your Favorite Shows Together – Just in Different Rooms

You like The Mindy Project and he likes The Black List? No problem. Watch them in different rooms! Send warm, loving texts like, “I hope you’re enjoying your show!” Run into each other in the kitchen while getting snacks and tell each other about exciting plot developments. It’s like watching a show together without the painful agony of sitting through a TV program you absolutely can’t stand.

Find Marital Balance

It works like this… He promises to not put plastic in the dishwasher as long as you let the kids stay up when his football team is playing because apparently their focused energy on the game can actually help his team win.

For the record, he has no idea why plastic can’t go in the dishwasher and you have no idea how sleeping children could cause his team to lose, but that’s okay.  You have reached a state of marital balance where you do puzzling things to make the other person happy.

Saturday Night: Paint the Town Red and Find Out How Your Kid is Doing in School

Go out to dinner with other couples. The couple will at some point ask, “How are your kids?” And this is when you will find out about important information you and your partner forgot to discuss… like your kid’s parent teacher conference, the fact that you are the designated snack family for this week’s soccer game and that your daughter wants to drop piano and take up guitar. Date night is like a fact finding mission with cocktails!

Acts of Kindness

Do nice things for your each other. Like he won’t post pictures of you on Facebook where you look 5 months pregnant (you’re not).  And you won’t post pictures on Facebook that shows his chin from an unflattering angle.

You can do other sweet things for your spouse like make the coffee in the morning, leave him little notes and record TV shows for him in standard-definition. Oh wait, was it high definition that he prefers? Oh who cares! It all looks the same. He won’t know the difference.

Say You’re Sorry! And then say it again!

You don’t know why you are saying sorry, but just do it. A lot! Once in awhile your spouse will say, “Why are you sorry?” and you won’t know the answer to that one. But don’t panic. Just say, “Because I was wrong. And you look beautiful/handsome. Let’s kiss and put on your favorite movie.”

It’s as easy as that.

So follow all these tips and marital bliss is yours. Because if reality stars Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are still together (Yup. For real.), surely there is hope for the rest of us.


Photo Courtesy of Ruffled.

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kelcey kintner