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As many of you know, once upon a time I lived in Montana so that I could someday become a big, fancy TV star. It was my first job in local TV news and you should have seen my groundbreaking coverage of the opening of the new cineplex. Stadium seating, people. Like you could see OVER other people.

But despite the obvious glamor of my profession, I was very very lonely.

My first week in town, I actually went to see Titanic. By myself. I was 3,000 miles from home, I had no friends and I lost Leonardo DiCaprio at sea. Life totally sucked.

But my heart did go on and I did quickly make some friends. One of them was this super quirky, funny guy named Craig.

I could tell Craig had a big crush on me but he wasn’t my type and I was way too busy dating a really hot, totally emotionally unavailable construction worker named Mike.

Craig and I did fun things, like go caving. That’s when you lower yourself into the dark, cold depths of the Montana mountains and hope to God you can find your way out before you starve to death. Or as Wikipedia defines it, “Caving is the recreational sport of exploring caves” which makes it sound a lot more fun than it really is.

Anyway, at the end of my year in Montana, I sold Craig my washer and dryer and said goodbye. I’m sure we promised to stay in touch and then we promptly forgot to ever stay in touch.

Until 10 years later.

When he friends me on Facebook. How fun! He found me on Facebook. He must still have a thing for me. So I friend him back and ask for an update on his life.

He came out of the closet.

Many years ago.

So I’m pretty certain that means he’s gay.

What the f*ck?! Does this mean he was never secretly in love with me?! Can’t a girl count on anything anymore?

And that’s not all.

He resold MY washer and dryer.  For a profit. And you know I didn’t see any of that money.  Now I’ll never be able to finance my next caving expedition.

mama bird notes:

This week on The Mouthy Housewives, you can win a gorgeous diaper bag from Baby Star. It’s so super cool that you totally don’t need a baby to use this rockin’ tote. Click here to get details on how to enter.

And I had the wonderful opportunity to be a guest blogger on Cookie Magazine this month. Click here to check it out. Thank you Cookie!

28 Responses to lonely montana girl

  • calikim says:

    HA HA!! You kill me!!!! Maybe it was all that spelunking you did that caused him to be gay. I have no idea what that means!! ; )

  • Crystal says:

    The NERVE of some men! Don’t they understand that underneath the tough, I’m a mommy and can handle anything exterior we’re all 6 yr old little girls who want to be princesses?

  • Daphne says:

    No time to register with Cookie, but that piece was incredible, beautifully written and totally captured the spirit of it all. Hope yourself on a plane tonight and come on out for some adventure (no caves, I’m scared of caves.)

  • jean says:

    What’s up with these wild, western guys! I dated a guy in SLC, Utah (where I was a lonely Utah gal for a time) who I stayed with at his mountain chalet where I practically froze to death! And where his ex-now friends-with-benefits, showed up and flirted unabashedly in front of me…made me feel even lonelier, and angry! (Not sure if he ever came out, though, haven’t heard from him since…)

  • Gretchen says:

    There is definitely something I call a “gay crush”. All my life I’ve had an assortment of gay men who love me. Someone once defined it to me this way, and I think it’s accurate – “It’s not that I want to have sex with you. It’s that I want to BE you.”

  • Nancy Walton says:

    Montana does miss you, Kelcey! During the time you were here, you were our resident Noo Yawker and if I remember correctly, you were the television sweetheart of more than one local cowboy/construction worker/probably totally emotionally unavailable guy who just didn’t have the courage to approach you. After all, you were cute, smart and you drove a Jeep! What more could a 20-something Montana guy ask for? I guess the only answer to that question was . . .a girl who stays around longer than a year. Obviously, it all turned out for the best though because look at your life now. But I bet there are more than a few guys here in Montana who remember you and occasionally wonder, “what if. . .?”
    P.S. If you haven’t already, look at the couple of photos I posted of you on facebook, one of us on the set and another of you and me at your going away party. They’re both in my album “TV Days and Friends”, or here’s a link to one of them http://www.facebook.com/home.p.....1068770114

  • Ah – the “he doesn’t want to have sex with you, he wants to BE you admiration…” But seriously – he may have wanted to make out with you. I know plenty of gay guys who have made out with girls. Or more accurately, I know a girl who has made out with plenty of gay guys…but you get the idea. His crush was probably legit. Just not past first base.

  • LT says:

    I have a feeling you have some time to save up for your next caving adventure! I am glad that you are not living in Montana anymore. Great post!

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Coming ‘Out of the Closet’ in Montana is either suicidal or very brave. He’s probably walking around with a 6 shooter around his waist and getting ready to buy a one-way ticket to Noo Yawk City..That’s why he contacted you…Let me know when he arrives knocking at your door.

  • Chris says:

    I’ve never been to Montana, but always desired to go. Willa Cather, big skies… just calls to me! I have been loved by a gay man before he knew he was gay. Join the club.

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kelcey kintner