I knew this day would finally come.
For more than a year, our apartment building has been surrounded by heavy machinery, ginormous cranes and ever escalating floors of concrete. I figured that eventually my 3 1/2 year-old daughter would notice the noise, debris and chaos and actually mention the two huge buildings going up outside our door.
And she finally did…
She pointed to a white pipe protruding from one of the concrete walls.
“Mom, look at that. That looks like that thing you use in the potty.”
“A tampon?” I responded. “You’re right honey. It does look like a tampon.”
Wow. It feels kind of weird to show a big picture of a tampon on my site. Oh please guy readers… don’t log off. Come on.. it’s just a tampon!
While we are on the subject of girlish things… I actually got a real life sighting of Ms. Contributing Mama Daphne Biener in New York City. The transplanted Colorado girl with an East Coat soul was in town to visit family. And she made time to see me! Now, Daphne initially comes across as a laid back, granola, I-don’t-need-makeup, low maintenance kind of girl. She told me to pick ANY restaurant. She was FLEXIBLE.
We sat down at Josie’s, a popular, healthy New American sort of place on the Upper West Side. Daphne is nibbling on cornbread and perusing the menu. She says, “Wow, usually when I look at a menu, a million things pop out at me. But I’m not really seeing anything.”
“Everything is really good,” I promise.
Daphne looks at the menu some more. Apparently, not a lot of “popping” going on.
“We can leave. We can find another place,” I offer, not really thinking she’ll actually make me get off my arse.
“Let’s go get sushi,” Daphne says. So we throw down a few bucks for the half eaten cornbread and walk out. And after checking out three restaurants in the neighborhood, we finally pick Citrus Bar & Grill which turns out to be pretty perfect.
Just a couple of super flexible, laid back, low maintenance girls out in the city.
One last tidbit. As you all know, I have two close friends who both just had their second child. In the spirit of a supportive mama community, I want to give them a tip for managing two.
When the baby cries at night and your toddler is trying to sleep in the same room, ear muffs come in very handy (no matter what time of year it is). Just ask Dylan who used this technique last night.
To take this photo, I risked waking TWO children. There’s nothing I won’t do for you all.
mama bird notes
We have an an awesome giveaway this week from Maidenform! You have the chance to win $300 worth of bras, underwear and shapewear from Maidenform (that you get to pick out from the website!).
If the winner turns out to live in the New York City area, you’ll have the bonus opportunity to visit Maidenform’s Madison Avenue showroom for a personal fitting. And their best fitter has touched the boobs of some very high profile celebs. I’m sure you can get the dirt when you go. If the winner doesn’t live in the NYC area, you’ll simply give them your sizes.
Man, who couldn’t use some properly fitting, sassy bras and underwear? To enter, just leave a comment on the mama bird diaries this week. You also need to forward a post to a friend. See that little pink box that says, “send to a friend”? Click there. Of course, I would never spam. Plus now (thanks to a very smart suggestion from mama bird reader Valerie), you can type a note when you forward posts.
Feel feel to write, “That ridiculously bossy Kelcey is making me forward this post so I can win fabulous underwear.”
Good luck mamas!
67 Responses to it’s a girls’ town
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kelcey kintner
LOL at the tampon hanging out of the building!
ear muffs, what a great idea!!!!
Loved that Dylan linked the pipe to the tampon.. can’t get anything past that girl!
EXCEPT for a FIRE, there is NO WAY I’d EVER risk disturbing the nap. I bow down.
Loved the super flexible, laid back, low maintenance girls out in the city shot!
Tampons AND Maidenform bras?! Is this a test for us guy readers?
Great Post:)
Thankfully I have not had to explain the whole tampon thing to my kids yet. Maybe my Mom will do that for me? (lol)
If you use tampons, step away from the crackberry and view this:
It will forever change your view…
I love Dylan’s bedtime ideas. Do you just crack up every night?
oops, let me try again..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....re=related
For anyone who watched the You Tube clip posted by Izzy’s Mama… there is thankfully another alternative. Organic Essentials: Organic tampons with applicator (No chemicals and no bleach).
For any males STILL reading… I’m so sorry but this is important. 🙂
I love that you used the word ginormous in your post – it’s my new favorite word, since Webster finally decided that, since we’ve all been using it long enough, it was acceptable. Great work – makes me feel like I’m there!
I have often wondered how the “cry it out method” would work if you have an older sibling trying to sleep. Ear muffs may definitely work.
I’ve unfortunately been remiss in getting my Mamma Bird fix as of late, and have to say, for a guy, this is quite a re-entry.
Dylan is SOOO clever!
Her ability to see the similarities and problem solve is commendable! No wonder she was exhausted from her trying school semester and needed a break!! She’s been busy!
Love the ear muffs! And a big high five for not waking the kids, even without the aid of a night-vision camera.
I love the fact that buildings in NY need tampons…
I could use some bras. Apparently in Italy, women only wear the most unsupportive, little bras you’ve ever, ever seen!!
ok, first off… Isn’t Sushi ALWAYS perfect??? And second, the Tampon thing is hilarious! your girl, there, is QUITE observant. I would NEVER have thought of this, but she is so right!
Since we now know the building is a girl, have we named her yet?
Funny, funny kid!
i am with you daphne… never got the hype of josies (although i named my daughter josie ).. i think the food stinks!
I hate all my bras-probably like most women. I really don’t have anything to hold up but if I have to wear something it might as well be pretty. Thanks for the earmuff tip. I wondered how two kids would share a room especially when one is an infant……
That is one observant little gal!
Thanks for the opportunity to upgrade my underwear.
I love the picture of you and Daph! Miss you!
Love the earmuffs, wish I would have thought of it myself. And since we are freaking out the guys, let me just pile on. My son once asked why I had popsicles in my purse!! Umm, those aren’t popsicles, son. And… after my mammogram this morning, I feel like I could use some new bras to get the ladies back in shape. There, now you have no more male readers.
Ear Muffs! Excellent Idea.
Pick me Maidenform! My husband asked me the other day when I plan on putting away my nursing bras since baby Victoria stopped nursing 3 months ago! For the record I did buy two new bras since the old ones bother me but every once and a while the nuring bras is better for a particular top! I know I’m not alone here!
That was a baaaaahaaaahaaaa moment! White thing used in the toilet? And then scroll down. Ah, from the mouths of babes . . . so innocent. Reminds me of a few weeks ago when my 5-year-old son excitedly announced, “My penis growed!”
Thanks for the possibility of updating my under-wardrobe!
I take photos of katherine sleeping all the time. its too cute to resist and she doesn’t even have earmuff on!! when she is sleeping not even flash photography disturbs her.
ok, that tampon bit is too funny. i can’t wait till my 6 mo can talk and put life in perspective.
I knew it was time to banish my 8-yr old DD from the bathroom when every time I was in there she ran in screaming, “Mama, do you need one of those lady things???” My 1-yr old thinks tampons and pads are for flushing. Apparently our plumber thinks it’s pretty funny too.
I wanna win the bras..I can’t imagine wearing a backless bra though..the thought grosses me out like thongs..
Anway, OMG that his hysterical about the tampon.. I am so going to retell that story…
Dylan cracks me up. both the tampon and the ear muffs. clever girl.
My day starts with coffee and newspaper. It then progresses to the Mama Bird Diaries and Al Goldstein’s blog on Booble for my dose of porn. Now I’m reading about tampons, butt cracks and hanging breasts on Mama Bird. Did I mix up my web sites or can I now eliminate Booble from my daily fix?
My oldest used to play with tampons. He’d take two out of the wrapper and whip them around helicopter style until the applicators flew. Guests were sometimes disturbed. You have to understand: these were favorite, tried and true beloved toys.
I had a professional fitting about 2 years ago and it changed my life.
It was the go-go-grunge early 90’s. My (very scrubbed and clean) diaphragm was drying in the corner of my bathtub. Uh oh. Forgot that I left my indoor frisbee next to the little plastic version of The Joker. At once! A fearless 2-year-old is turned into an action hero with a one-breast-plate.
I felt like the horriblest mother ever. Today? I feel alive and purged thanks to Kelcey’s tampon. Ahhhh.
Seriously, laugh out loud funny! Thanks for making me smile all of the time Kelc!
And I may move to NYC just for the bra give away! I need new ones that badly!
First off, you KNOW I wanted sushi, so the question is not why did I want to leave Josie’s, but why’d you make this low-maintenance, roll-with-it, super cool, visiting gal sit in vegan-land in the first place??? And not for nothin’, but did you forget that Josie’s refused us even the smallest comfort of a glass of wine? Honey, these hiking boots were made for walking…at least as far as a place with sushi and wine.
By the way, (in case sarcasm doesn’t come through in type)I loved my dinner with you, Kelc, and would have enjoyed NYC with my main MamaBird if we had eaten nothing but dandelions! Thanks for a great dinner. Already missing you and the awesome food of NYC (vegan, raw, or otherwise!)
Wow…that is a giveaway!
I can’t believe you risked waking the kiddos for the pic. You must love us;)
Your lunch sounds lovely… and so is the photo. Nice to be grown up and eat sushi in the middle of the day.
So do I put ear muffs on both of the twins or just one? Please thank Dylan for the great suggestion! 🙂
love the tampon connection! I SOOO demand bathroom privacy during that lovely time of the month, makes my 4 year olds curiosity PEAK!
ginormous tampons and bras, oh my! I could use the boob-fitter help, not to mention the swag, but meanwhile, what fun to visit…that photo juxtaposition is hilarious!
Oooh – a personal boob fitter – count me in!
As I near 40, I’m realizing the need to proper foundation garments…and I don’t have them!
Thanks for a great giveaway.
Seriously, I need this! I have 3 bras that I wear over and over again. It is really bad. Pick me! Pick me!
Why not–a new bra is always a good thing.
After breastfeeding 3 kids, my “rocks in socks” (there, now I’ve scared away all the men and childless women), boy do I need a good bra …. maybe I could get on webcam so those NYC boob fitters can help…
I actually drove by your building the other night on the way to a party at Socialista (yeah, like where britney frequents…i am nothing if not hip to the celebrity tip), and I witnessed first hand the mayhem happening outside of Kelcey’s building. Good lord, that is insane woman! It’s bad enough to navigate those cobblestone streets in heels, but add to that the construction nightmare and you are putting your pretty little ankles in peril my friend! I hope you wear sneakers everyday…
Alas, earmuffs – such a great usage. You should market that.
How funny. And love the earmuffs idea!
Steph
I wish I lived in NY so I could get a fitting! Babies have mangled my body beyond recognition, but I’m almost done losing the baby weight and plan to restock my Maidenform collection this summer!
Maybe I should wear earmuffs myself? Good idea! Count me in, I want a new bra!
It’s always so funny to see the connections kids make. Also happy to know that other kids know what tampons are. I always feel bad that I am not more discreet about them!
I’d love some new bras!
I think I myself will utilize the earmuff tactic. Your child is a genius, you do realize that. And yes, I need new bras too — my baby is 9 months old and, well, the body’s changed a bit. It’s like having water bags on your chest. sigh
I’m seriously stealing the earmuff idea – that is genuis.
I need bras so bad it’s insane. please.. please!!
Now I’ll forward this to someone else in need. What an awesome contest!!
Since, um, this pregnancy has made my bras not fit me…I could use this:)
My bra collection could certainly use some updating!
Maybe you should give away some earmuffs for us mamas to wear… tee hee.
😉
Thanks for the good laugh!
That is so funny about the tampon! Definitely a story to never forget to tell 😉
Dylan cracks me up!!
WOW! The bra give away sounds awesome. Do they come small enough haha
Wow…60 comments! I guess I’m not the only mama that needs new bras!
I live in 1.5 bras. Ya. kinda yucky. I would love the chance to win! I’ll be forwarding this post to a friend asap!
One of my 3 year old son’s favorite games is “Tampon Store.” He creates a display on the rug then sells them back to me!
Love your blog…so funny and it hits home all too often!
I though you were going to say that your daughter thought it looked like a penis…
I always have to hide my tampons – my 18months old son loves to take them apart and leaves them lying around all over the apt. Very embarassing when visitors find them in between sofa cushions.
The tampon! Totally cracking me up. I have vowed to always be honest with my kids about things like that. So when my daughter pointed to a tampon and asked me what it was, I told her it was part of my makeup. 😉