I was at the gym recently (no, seriously, I really was there), on the Arc Trainer. The Arc is an elliptical machine with a dash of a stairmaster and a sprinkle of treadmill or something like that. Whatever it is – it’s my way to get my heart rate up (because I’m told ranting and yelling about all the heaps of laundry and mail and dishes piling up in the apartment is not actually considered a cardio workout).
As I gasped my way through 20 minutes or so of Arc training before yoga class, I watched “In the Loop with iVillage.” I’m not even sure what the iVillage is but it sure feels good to be in the loop. Bill Rancic of “Apprentice” fame is one of the hosts. Remember that guy?!
On this day, they were interviewing a sex educator/therapist who claimed to have all kinds of ways for committed couples to keep the sexual flame burning year after year. Except no one would let the woman talk.
One host would ask her a question like, “How do you keep intimacy alive when you have young children?”
She answered, “First, have a lock on your bedroom door –“.
Then one of the hosts (not Bill, who just looked completely embarrassed by the discussion) would jump in with another question. I’m thinking, hold on there cowgirl, let the lady speak. Oh I’m sure it’s all the same stuff… create a romantic bedroom, discuss your fantasies, don’t be afraid to communicate, make time for date nights… heard any of this before?
But, heck, maybe she’s got a new tip. And who couldn’t use a new tip now and then to keep things spicy and unpredictable?
But now we’ll never hear it. And let’s be real, no matter how good looking your husband is, the “locking the door” tip is not going to suddenly turn him into the hot 20 something cabana boy from your vacation. Just sayin’.
This is why I can’t watch these shows. All you ever hear are those chatty hosts talking and talking and talking. As a former TV girl, I would occasionally anchor my channel’s daytime talk show. I’m sure I never let those guests speak either.
It’s just so exciting to ask the questions! And make pithy comments! And throw in my opinion!
Oh, it just makes me cringe.
And I truly hate to do this to you L.C. lovers but I think I’m over MTV’s “The Hills.”
Look, I wanted to like it. I really did. But I was watching the season opener and I just had this incredible desire to turn off the TV. Yes. That. Serious.
It’s so manufactured and contrived, that I either want them to hire some awesome writers or start giving Lauren (L.C.), Brody, Heidi and the rest of the awkward/attractive gang designing challenges and turn it into Project Runway LA.
Am I really suppose to believe that Lauren stains her dress in Paris and then MIRACULOUSLY another gown (that fits absolutely perfectly) is available an hour before the ball? And the long, tedious silences between Heidi and Spencer and her ski bunny parents is sucking my will to really do anything.
Yes, I watched the whole hour.
Ok maybe I’ll give it one more episode.
But I’m not afraid to turn it off.
You heard me.
“Eat Pray Love” is sitting on my bedside table right now.