I finally gave up this week. It happened at 8:23 am on Thursday morning.
I had vowed to wear my light weight short white coat for as long as possible. (By the way, white coats are as dumb as white couches.) As long as I’m wearing that coat, it’s not really winter. I mean, how can it be winter if I’m wearing my lovely autumn jacket?
When I was a TV reporter, I used to work with this cameraman who would wear shorts practically all winter long. It was pretty impressive because we would spend most of our day outside. We were usually knocking on people’s doors until they invited us in for some hot cider. You know that might not be quite right. I think they actually answered and then slammed the door in our faces. People who allegedly commit crimes are enormously cranky.
It had to be a raging blizzard before that cameraman threw on a pair of jeans. I personally stop wearing shorts in mid-September but I just refuse to pull out any serious winter wear until I’m freezing to death.
But 20 degrees was kicking my ass this week. So yesterday, I begrudgingly dragged out my Long Black Winter Sucks Puffer Coat or as I call it for short, LBWSPC.
Of course, I immediately downward spiraled into a LBWSPC depression and had to book a week in Florida. It’s not just about the coat. We also wanted to see Rick’s grandmother and sharpen our Zumba skills.
We are pulling our first grader out of school for four days to go down there so if she bombs her SATs someday, we’ll be able to pinpoint the beginning of her downfall. But heck, once she finally gets into a party school, she’ll ace class like, “The Physics of Palm Trees” and “Nutrition: The Benefits of Eating at 4:30 p.m.”
Although I have lost the battle with LBWSPC, I can still say with confidence that I have yet to own a pair of waterproof snow boots. Despite living in the Northeast for roughly a million years. So this means that we are guaranteed to have no snow this winter or I will once again have very wet cold feet. I’ll keep you posted.