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In my twenties, I dated.

First dates. Blind dates. Bad dates. What was I thinking dates. I really hope he calls again dates. I really hope he doesn’t call again dates. Oh my god he’s so cute but so dumb dates. He’s really smart but there’s no chemistry dates. Did he really just throw his appetizer on the floor (who does that?) dates.

And sometimes I wondered – in the roller coaster of dating and boyfriends, would I find the one? But I should have had more faith. Because the right guy showed up at exactly the right time.  And then he dumped me.

But then I found Rick.

Kidding. It was Rick. He was the right guy!

In my thirties, I got married and gave birth to children.

First one. Then two. Then a lot of waiting, praying and disappointment.

I worried that I’d never be able to have my big family. And I worried about my girls. Would they be safe? Would they be healthy? Did they eat enough vegetables? Was it okay if they didn’t? Were their car seats installed correctly? Did they know how to swim well enough? Did they eat too much sugar?  Did I look at my Blackberry too much when I was with them?  Would the coyotes carry them away?

I should have had more faith.  Because my older girls are safe, healthy and amazing. And we were blessed with Chase and Harlowe. I have four beautiful, incredible children.

So in my forties, I vowed to have more faith.

It’s exhausting to think that somehow I control destiny.  I don’t.

So that’s how I decided to go to Mom 2.0, a blogging conference.

I’m going because it’s supposed to be an incredible conference. And because it’s in New Orleans, the place I learned to kiss cute boys for Mardi Gras beads, do goldfish shots and where a first date once threw his appetizers on the floor. I think I also earned a bachelor’s degree there.

I’m going because I want to drag Marinka, Wendi, Amy and Pauline to my sorority house and make them sing Pi Phi songs on the porch. And because I must have beignets at Cafe Du Monde. And because I think it would be good for me to get away. Just for a few days. On my own.

And of course, I booked the whole trip and started to panic a bit.

Then forgot about it for awhile.

But now it’s looming.

Like next week.

And I’m panicked again.  What if my plane has a hole? What if it doesn’t and I really need fresh air? What if my husband and all my children melt down while I’m gone. What if Harlowe gets sick again, won’t eat and I’m not there to breastfeed her? What if my breasts leak all over my beignets?  What if Chase cries for me and I’m a thousand miles away? What if the other bloggers refuse to learn the Pi Phi songs?

I’m trying to have faith.

I’m trying to envision charming St. Charles Avenue. The hand grenades at Tropical Isle. The crawfish etouffee.  The drunk tourists yelling “Show me your tits!!” to every person who passes by.  And hopefully, somehow, I’ll get myself there.

43 Responses to i’m really trying to go to mom 2.0

  • Scrappysue says:

    I’ve been cafe du monde and even have the coffee cup! Ull be fine and so will your kids. From one mum of four to another. Ths i know. They’ll even hve fun without u which kinda sucks, but that’s just the way it is

  • Jenn says:

    You’ll be better for the break. They’ll all miss you terribly and love you even more when you get home. And you can have some woman time (which normally puts me off going out the house – all that whining and bickering and …. wining to drown out the bickering… I need me some woman time!)

  • Courtney says:

    I wish I could go with you – I was a Pi Phi in the CT Beta chapter, and I’d love to sing the songs again 🙂

    Hope you have a great time and that the kids miss you (and you, them) just enough, but not so much that it hurts.

  • Bitsy says:

    You are a Pi Phi?!?!?! Me too!! Hey sister! I am a bad sister because I really don’t remember the songs. Maybe if I heard them. Maybe you could post a video on your next blog post. Have fun on your trip; you deserve it!

  • Christine says:

    Have a great time in New Orleans! I love your blog; it is a go-to when I log on to get a laugh. By the way, I am in my forties, have boy-girl twins (17 months) and was a Pi Phi! I still love your post about wanting everything as a drive-thru…I can relate!

  • Drue says:

    Aw, I love reading your blog! You always bring a laugh to my house when I need it. I was a Pi Phi at LSU! LOVE the songs.

  • Jean says:

    Oh, you’ll do great! I have always wanted to go to New Orleans. It’s on my list! Makes me wish I had an excuse to go to Mom.2! 😉
    Have a wonderful time, Kelcey…

  • Daphne says:

    Ahh, I remember NOLA, the breast pumping in the back of your inlaws car..oh yes, and those lovely pi phi songs. Have a beignet or 12 for me please.

  • Johanna says:

    Have a blast just being a gal for a bit without having to be wife, mom, problem solver, and everyone’s everything at all times ! I have a conference coming up in Vegas without children…don’t know if I even know how to function without them stuck to me all day! I already have anxiety and it’s two months away. Good luck!

  • tracy says:

    I felt the same way when I went to Blissdom in January. I had never left my baby..but the good news, my boobs looked AWESOME the whole time – leaky, but awesome.

  • Loukia says:

    Beignets at Cafe Du Monde was my very favorite experience when I was in New Orleans! So, so good.

    I worry ALL the time. I got a prescription for Ativan before I went to BlogHer in NYC. I feel so GUILTY, leaving my kids, especially when it’s for a personal thing. Like, I don’t *HAVE* to go to BlogHer, you know? Will my kids be safe? Miss me too much? Will I die? Plane worries and stress, never-ending.

    But… I survived… and now, the panic and worry is coming back, because I’m going to San Diego, on a much LONGER plane ride this August, and staying THREE while nights. The guilt and worry is back.


  • deb ringold says:

    My friend Sanja and I want to come to NOLA!! Her son goes to Tulane and it’s Crawfish Festival next weekend! Have Fun!! P.S. can’t wait to see you all this weekend!! 😉

  • Tara says:

    OMG….I’m a Pi Phi too….with Bitsy at FSU! I can’t seem to remember the songs either but i’m sure if I heard them they’d come right back….definitely post a video so we can have a sing-a-long with Kelsey! Have a great trip!!

  • Kerrie says:

    Always time/room for Pi Phi songs on any trip! Am a fan of the sing-a-long Kelsey video idea too… Love to the sisters of the wine and silver-blue out there! :0)

  • Valerie says:

    I soooo wish I could go with you. New Orleans is on my list of places to see and you ladies sound like a fun group to experience it with. 🙂 The kids will be fine without you. Rick, well, he’ll need some TLC when you return. But he’ll recover! Enjoy yourself! You deserve the time away.

  • MN Mama says:

    Have fun! I am singing songs right now on my couch. I hope you have a fabulous time. Have a beignet for me too!

  • Charisse says:

    As a mama myself, I have the same worries as you! Mom 2.0 sounds amazing.

    Thought you might be interested… but I just found out that Yes to Carrots is giving away $10,000 in grants to schools to help plant gardens. 😀 Great way for kids to appreciate and connect with nature (after watching Food Revolution with Jamie Oliver, I realized it was VERY important!)

  • Steph says:

    It is hard to leave our babies but you deserve it. Have some crawfish for me! I love NOLA. It is where I met my hubby and had my first grownup job. We’re going there three weeks from now. Would have loved to meet you and bought you a beignet. don’t worry I’m not a stalker–Wendi knows me from our former preschool:)

  • Elizabeth says:

    Lanie, Fat Harry’s is alive and better than ever. They even have free wifi! Pi Phi songs from a float is the best idea–like a rolling front porch.

  • It’ll be fine. You can blot your bewbs with the beignets (extra points for alliteration.) Or use the breastmilk in that fancy chickory-roasted coffee I hear they have down there in NOLA. It will also be fine because you’ll get to meet me IRL (high time), if that doesn’t happen I’m finding a way to blame Marinka.

kelcey kintner