On Saturday night, I was headed to the city for a close friend’s 40th birthday dinner.
Time allotted to get ready: 15 minutes
Time actually needed to get ready: 55 minutes
Major stumbling block: The jeans.
After trying on and discarding a variety of pregnancy jeans in a heap, I decided to wear a pair of my pre-pregnancy jeans with those belly bands that allow you to keep the zipper open. After much tugging to get them on, I was fairly satisfied with my reflection in the mirror and decided to get the hell out the door before I changed my mind.
I kissed my girls, said goodbye to the sitter and then attempted to get in the car.
And that’s where things didn’t quite work out for me.
Because I couldn’t sit down. At least not without the zipper digging into my skin like a razor blade and the thighs of the jeans cutting off all circulation to my upper body, which doesn’t seem ideal.
Could I bear this pain for the 45 minute car ride and the rest of the evening? Could I somehow leisurely stand throughout an entire dinner at Il Buco without being pegged the weird, awkward girl by other party goers?
Umm… no.
So I went back into the house and changed my pants. Because it’s ridiculous to try to wear pre-pregnancy jeans when you’re 27 weeks pregnant. At least for me. I blame Heidi Klum. I’ve been watching her on “Project Runway” in all her stiletto wearing, fashionista pregnancy glory, and I think I got a bit carried away. I am once again reminded that I am indeed not Heidi Klum.
Speaking of jeans, we were on our way to church on Easter morning when my husband came down the stairs wearing denim.
“Is that what you’re wearing? Jeans?” I asked.
“Yes. They’re my good jeans. And I’m wearing a sport coat.” (To my husband’s credit, he actually looked very good but still… JEANS?! TO CHURCH?!)
“I just don’t think jeans are appropriate for church. I promise you, no one will be wearing jeans,” I explained.
My husband changed.
And then at church, sometime between the flowering of the cross and the children’s choir performance, he had the time to count the number of men wearing jeans.
Six.
In case you’re wondering.
And my husband insists, the jeans he was going to wear were nicer than all of theirs.
29 Responses to i’m not wearing jeans while i write this post
Leave a Reply to Bitsy Cancel reply
kelcey kintner
Pingback: Tweets that mention New York City Mom|The Mama Bird Diaries - humor parenting -- Topsy.com
If it makes you feel any better when I was pregnant with my twins I got to the point where I couldn’t even wear maternity pants any more. It was awful. I had quite the collection of maternity dresses.
Hey, if YOU have to change several to find a pair of pants that fit, he can change ONCE to look nice for church.
Fair’s fair.
From what I know about Christianity, Jesus cares about what’s inside, not what you’re wearing. You’re probably thinking of Tim Gunn.
Oh, yeah, that makes her feel better, Ashley.
I would give my husband the old: if everybody else was jumping off the GW bridge, would you do that too??
And Heidi Klum probably breathes a sigh of relief and has marks from tight clothing Everywhere when the cameras turn off…
Your husband goes to church with you? I would let mine come in damn over-alls or PJs to get his butt to church.
And on that note..
Your husband CHANGED?
Go kiss that man. From me.
The fact that you could even put on pre-pregnancy jeans is amazing!
Because um, you aren’t just preggers THERE ARE TWINS IN THERE! TWO BABIES!
Just wanted to make sure you remember. Really, what are friends for?
This post made me laugh very hard. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Happy Monday!
You fit into your pre-preg jeans? You get full credit.
I feel your pain!! I’m 24 weeks and wore a very cute dress yesterday…cute until I realized I couldn’t get out of it!
I am with Daphne. You are incredible!
I long ago quit trying to be Heidi Klum. Now I just try hope I look better than Heidi Fleiss.
This reminds me of The Rosh HaShanah I dared to wear too small maternity pants. I was 8 mos pregnant, spending 5 hours in the car, eating a huge meal, and sitting and standing in temple for two hours.
Oh and I WORE HEELS. Misery does not begin to describe it. For the ride home I had to borrow an old pair of my uncle’s sweatpants.
Those belly bands never worked for me either – I don’t know anyone who can wear them. GAP Maternity are my absolutely favorite maternity jean – the only ones I had a hard time putting away after my son arrived. They are awesome, as was this post! LOL!
Hi- I recently wrote a to post on the Heidi Klum pregnancy phenomena. You might enjoy http://withoutablueprint.blogs.....-dont.html
You may also enjoy this one on fashion, pregnancy and the myth of sex appeal…http://withoutablueprint.blogs.....belly.html
All the best….and hope there are more comfortable jeans in your future.
when i was in 4th grade, my friend B told my friend C: “you can’t wear pants to church.” 30 yrs later we are all dear friends and still laugh about it.
If the Pope can wear dresses and those funny hats, you can wear anything you want to church.
Cute post- sorry about the jean thing … and yes, i blame Heidi and Angelina as well 😉 And I am sooo following you now- hope you can stop by my place when you find the time 😉
I don’t have a problem with wearing jeans to church as long as they are clean, have no holes, and aren’t hanging down around your knees. My mom doesn’t either but when my dear grandmother was alive she wouldn’t let us wear pants of any kind to church-only dresses or skirts!
I blame Heidi Klum for everthing wrong in the world.
And, jeans to church? Not kosher. Or, Christ like, I suppose.
My husband wears $19 jeans by a brand called Poligamy (spelled incorrectly because that’s chic) which I think are banned in both church AND Hell.
I, shamefully, am doing the opposite of you. I am wearing Maternity jeans when I haven’t been pregnant in nearly a year. I just like that they’re a full 2 sizes smaller than my regular jeans, in case someone wants to check the label under the sewn-in navy belly band.
I am so glad you went with comfort over vanity 😉 At 27 weeks, you (and fitting into your regular jeans, not fair), I am POSITIVE you looked beautiful. You’re always hilarious.
Great minds think alike – I told my husband the same thing on Easter Sunday when he got his jeans out to wear.
I don’t know why but I just assumed that you weren’t wearing pants. Sassy!
The fact that you could fit into your pre-pregnancy jeans 27 weeks into a twin pregnancy means that you are Heidi Klum in my book. Hats off!
I totally agree, no jeans to Church :). Even though I will wear them to a nice restaurant with a cute top and heels, I would hear my mom’s voice in my head if I thought about wearing them to Easter mass!! :). I lived in my Bella band with my prepreg jeans until it was ugly 😉
I got into a big discussion with my (then) 10-year-old daughter about why she could NOT wear jeans to an elegant little French restaurant on Nob Hill in San Francisco, that she needed to wear a dress. She did, being 10 and having little (perhaps no) real power. There are 10 tables in this tiny restaurant, and I think half of them were people in jeans. I try not to give up, to fight the good fight, but it’s hard.
One thing is the fact that one of the most prevalent incentives for using your credit cards is a cash-back as well as rebate provision. Generally, you’ll have access to 1-5% back upon various buying. Depending on the card, you may get 1% back on most buying, and 5% back on acquisitions made from convenience stores, filling stations, grocery stores plus ‘member merchants’.