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Sometimes things go your way (“Project Runway” is back on the air! Thank you fashion Gods!) and sometimes things don’t (“Swingtown” looks like it’s headed for cancellation. Boo! Hiss!). If you haven’t tuned in to “Swingtown” and apparently not many people have, it’s an entertaining drama about suburban swingers (that’s couple swapping for all you innocents out there) set in the 1970s.

Damn. Rick and I are about to lose our role models for our sexy swinging disco life.

You know that’s a joke, right? Yeah, we’re way too tired to swing. But disco dancing? We’re always up for that.

I guess the show isn’t doing well in the ratings. Maybe that’s because you don’t get to see a whole lot of actual swinging going on. And the program has no reality competitions (maybe couples should swap partners for prizes or something).

The absolute best part of “Swingtown” is Jake from “Melrose Place.”

Look at the bad boy, all grown up and no longer working at Shooters (Thank you Wendi for reminding me about Jake’s glory days in MP). Now he’s a pilot! Jake – you’ve come a long way baby.

Not that Jake isn’t super skilled behind the controls of a jumbo jet, but I’m kind of glad he’s not flying my plane this weekend. My family and I are headed to Italy and once again I have pre-flight jitters. Of course, if Jake wants to rub my shoulders throughout the flight, that might actually help.

Cat suggested the homeopathic medicine, Calms Forte, to reduce my anxiety. And I also do a little investigative work on my own, to quiet my nerves. As I board the plane, I pretend to chat amicably with the flight attendants. But what I’m really doing is secretly peering into the pilot’s cabin. I like to confirm the following:

1. The pilot is not 14 years-old.

2. He or she is not drunk.

That’s pretty much the extent of my investigation.

Now those of you who know how to fly or who are married to pilots are thinking, “Kelcey, flying is completely safe. If you want to be more careful in life, stop crossing the street, while pushing a double stroller, drinking a latte, filing your nails and talking on your phone.”

Yeah, yeah, I get your point.

mama bird notes

Hey, do your kids hate dogs? Mine, too!! Click on New York City’s Moms Blog to read my latest piece.

Contributing mama Daphne Biener has a hankering for some shirtless farmers, I mean, berries. Click here to read more.

And my love-hate relationship with Abby Cadabby aside, check out these cool Sesame kicks from New Balance in drooling over this.

30 Responses to i’m jake and i’ll be your captain

  • Leanne says:

    Oh thank goodness it’s not just me.

    I jitter the whole time too I’m on a plane, and we travel a lot.

    Try and have fun. Since it’s a long flight you could try Tylenol PM with a drink…it’ll knock you out, hubby can cope!

  • Shannon says:

    I feel the same way about airplanes and totally know where you are coming from. I predict a fabulous trip for all of you. Enjoy!

    Keep us up to date on all the Italian hotties you encounter – or at least all the best child-friendly Italian venues…

  • kristen says:

    another good remedy, is rescue remedy – it does help with pre-flying jitters.

    although honestly, the only thing that helps me (aside from chatting up the flight crew AND looking in the cockpit) is a little something .5

    i had to laugh about the 14 y.o. pilot…the other day in our local bagel shop, there was a puppy looking boy with an airlines badge that said “pilot”.

  • sam says:

    oh have the most wonderful time in italia!!! will miss you and can’t wait to hear all about the trip and to see you when you’re back!! love + hugs xoxoxoxox
    p.s. doesn’t anyone do shooters anymore?? THAT will whip you into flying readiness!

  • Turbo says:

    Jake so needs a Virginia Slim!

    Kelcey, just don’t do what I did mere moments before leaving for my latest flight: wax your facial hair.

  • Sandrine says:

    Have a great trip, I’m so jealous, not only you are going away, but to Europe and to Italy…enjoy enjoy (once the plane lands).

  • Nap Warden says:

    Man, do I miss me some Melrose Place! Why aren’t they bringing that show back instead of 90210?

    Who am I kidding, I’ll be watching 90210.

    Have a great trip:)

  • wa says:

    First, thanks for outing me as a Melrose savant. I’m so proud. But my favorite bit was always the fact that Billy was President of D&D advertising, but still worked in a cubicle.

    Have a wonderful time in Italy! And I’m sure your pilot will be at least 15 years-old.

  • Becky says:

    have fun in Italy! I hope you bring your laptop and blog from there because otherwise how do you expect me to go on?!?
    Because it’s really ALL about me.
    Have a great trip!

  • francine Kasen says:

    LOVE SWINGTOWN ! Favorite scene….party with Harry Reems!!! And the post “deep throat” kitchen scene! What a riot! There are lots of great shows that went the way of the platypus. Oh well. I guess just you and I are watching them. ARIVADERCHI !

  • Erin says:

    i am so jealous of your trip to italy, even if the lonely planet doesn’t have much to say about your destination. who needs that travel guide anyway (we use the same one when traveling) and why is it called the lonely planet? you should find the opposite travel guide, the ” very content planet”-or whatever the opposite of lonely is…..have a great trip!

  • ErinB says:

    how does jake look exactly the same – except for the creepy mustache. i too am full of glee over the return of Heidi and crew. I read this is the last year for them on bravo and after this its moving to lifetime tv…the interesting things i bring to the table huh? wishing you a safe flight and amazing trip! Cant wait to see what Dylan wears in italy –

  • Melisa says:

    Ok, I won’t make any pilot remarks, though you know I’m hankering to do so. 🙂

    And second, Italy for the summer…color me jealous, in an extreme green shade.

    And third…I watch Swingers and actually quite enjoy it. Or more so enjoy how willy everyone was in the 70’s. Hee.

  • Jen says:

    Hi Kelcey
    Love the dog piece. Luke hates dogs too except he loves our neighbor’s huge pit bull…of all dogs for him to want to pet and put his feet on. My nerves are totally shot at this point. Enjoy Italia :> Ciao raggazza xo

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Best not looking into the cockpit. I saw a St. Christopher medal over the pilot’s seat on my flight to Mexico.

  • Rhea says:

    Oh, may I please, pretty please go to Italy with you and your family? That wouldn’t be weird at all, I promise. lol

    Good luck flying. I know it’s hard for some (like my hubby) and often anxiety meds, Ambien or lots of alcohol can help…or not…

  • Pearl says:

    I looove swingtown too! And Project Runway. I’ve only seen the first episode so far and I can already see that Suede is the one we will love to hate. Not because of his bedazzled jacket, but because he refers to himself in the third person.

    Enjoy your trip to Italy!

  • Lanie says:

    I did not know that Project Runway was back on the air – that is very exciting! I like Jake from Melrose too – maybe after Swingtown he can work on a Melrose spin off (I just read that 90210’s spin off is airing this season).

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kelcey kintner