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We’ve started interviewing some potential part-time nannies for when the twins arrived. Someone to help me feed, clothe and take care of these four children. Of course, everyone tells me that twins generally take care of each other so I don’t even know why we need the extra help.

One potential babysitter came the other day and we discussed the responsibilities of the job… childcare (tend to whichever child is crying), light housekeeping (which apparently does not include loofah’ing my dry heels) and light cooking (which does not necessarily mean low fat). This nanny immediately mentioned that she likes to cook all kinds of chicken.

My husband heard the word chicken and basically wanted to bring her on as his second wife. The man loves his chicken. He eats it everyday and takes pride that he’s taught our 5 year-old to each chicken off the bone with her hands.

It’s the beautiful ying and yang of parenting. I’ve enriched her life by exposing her to the the delicate, stainless steel beauty of a fork and knife.ย  And he’s taught her to hold a chicken bone in her fist and chow down like an 11th century Scandinavian viking.

Basically, my daughter ends up with BBQ sauce smeared all over her hands, face and body and chews the chicken as if she was smacking on a pack of gum. It’s really a lovely part of our family dining experience.

Anyway, despite this nanny’s great potential for creating magnificent chicken dishes, we aren’t hiring her. She was just too mellow.

In contrast, I spoke with another nanny on the phone who was incredibly intense. I’d barely said hello and she’s yelling at me over the phone, “I JUST WANT TO SAY HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!”

Awesome. Could you say it a little softer?

And then she starts describing the families she has worked for as “Family C” and “Family G” and “Family L” and I have no idea if I’m supposed to buy a vowel next or what but I know this is not going to work out because I need someone a little more laid back.

So basically, I’m searching for Miss Sort of Energetic and Sort of Laid Back Who Can Cook Amazing Chicken. And convince my daughter to use a fork against her father’s wishes. I know she’s out there somewhere.

26 Responses to if you like chicken, apply for a job here

  • Diane says:

    Don’t forget that laundry when you are looking for help. You cannot yet possibly imagine how much laundry two new little people will add to the weekly load. Good luck!

  • Portia says:

    Whoa @ Mad Dog…talk about stereotypes! Everyone, male or female who wants to be health conscious in 2010 pretty much prefers to eat chicken over beef!

  • Becky says:

    This reminds me of online dating. Make sure you talk on the phone and email before meeting in person. Also meet in a public place and at a time you can make a quick escape if need me. like a lunch hour.
    Also don’t seem too eager. Make her come to you.

  • Crystal says:

    I’d apply, but that’s only because you live in New York and I LOVE it up there! yes, I know you’re all suburban now, but you’ve still got a city heart, don’t cha?

  • sierra says:

    Too funny! We just finished interviewing au pairs for our kids (we have four too, tho no twins 7mos to 7 years) and there is def a balance between aggressively excited and normal excitement. Good luck!!

  • Betsy says:

    Wait, your child eats chicken off the bone!?! We still have to remove it for her and it is still not eaten with a fork. You should look at the chowing off the bone as a time saver. With 2 new ones coming, time savers will be important.

  • Patrick says:

    Wade Boggs ate chicken every day, and he’s in the baseball Hall of Fame. Perhaps Rick has similar aspirations. He does love his Phillies baseball.

  • Jen says:

    I saw this show on JetBlue the other day –9 By Design – have you seen it? This family with 7 kids lives in a fab glass building in the WV off the West Side Highway. I’m jealous of their home and awestruck that they have 7 children – 2 sets of twins! They hired the nanny who got up and did the Flashdance dance…and from that same show, an awesome girl name suggestion — Bellamy! Love it!!!!
    So great to see you last week xx

  • Aunt Marcia (Guess Whose?) says:

    Hire a clown from the circus to take care of the girls, and you take care of the twins. You’ll be the envy of the neighborhood…And to make Rick happy, hire a hottie in a sexy maid’s outfit to cook and clean…See..all your problems solved.

  • I was just reading “Blink” by Malcolm Gladwell and he says you can figure out if a person is right for you in the first 2 seconds. I think you need to speed-date some nannies.

  • Rachel of Fabumom says:

    My hubby also loves when our little girl eats chicken from the bone (tendons and all). It must go back to some innate, caveman thing! You know, like they ALL have this thing about BBQing and cooking on an open fire. Good luck with the nanny hunt.

  • I’m just so impressed your daughter eats chicken. My kids were the pickiest eaters; I can barely get them to eat chicken now and they’re mostly grown. And you’re right to be choosy with the sitter; you’re gonna spend an awful lot of time with her around.

  • Sarah says:

    @17 Yeah, me too! Unless she came to the meeting stoned or in bare feet (like a babysitter I once hired…we actually spent more time talking about the henna designs on her feet than the kids’ requirements…which is probably why I don’t write a parenting blog… ๐Ÿ™‚ Hmmm, with twin newborns and 2 more little kids, I’d think “mellow” would be awesome! (Unless of course by “mellow,” she meant 5’10” blond 36DD surfer chick, in which case I would definitely agree that there’s such a thing as “too mellow.” ๐Ÿ˜‰

  • CaliKim says:

    HA HA!! I should be married to Rick. I literally have chicken about every night cooked in various ways!

  • ~Laura says:

    Whoever mentioned laundry help above is a genius. Make sure you get some help with that as well as the chicken. As a mother of twins, trust me on this. You cannot believe the laundry that two babies create!

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kelcey kintner