We’ve started interviewing some potential part-time nannies for when the twins arrived. Someone to help me feed, clothe and take care of these four children. Of course, everyone tells me that twins generally take care of each other so I don’t even know why we need the extra help.
One potential babysitter came the other day and we discussed the responsibilities of the job… childcare (tend to whichever child is crying), light housekeeping (which apparently does not include loofah’ing my dry heels) and light cooking (which does not necessarily mean low fat). This nanny immediately mentioned that she likes to cook all kinds of chicken.
My husband heard the word chicken and basically wanted to bring her on as his second wife. The man loves his chicken. He eats it everyday and takes pride that he’s taught our 5 year-old to each chicken off the bone with her hands.
It’s the beautiful ying and yang of parenting. I’ve enriched her life by exposing her to the the delicate, stainless steel beauty of a fork and knife. And he’s taught her to hold a chicken bone in her fist and chow down like an 11th century Scandinavian viking.
Basically, my daughter ends up with BBQ sauce smeared all over her hands, face and body and chews the chicken as if she was smacking on a pack of gum. It’s really a lovely part of our family dining experience.
Anyway, despite this nanny’s great potential for creating magnificent chicken dishes, we aren’t hiring her. She was just too mellow.
In contrast, I spoke with another nanny on the phone who was incredibly intense. I’d barely said hello and she’s yelling at me over the phone, “I JUST WANT TO SAY HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!!!!”
Awesome. Could you say it a little softer?
And then she starts describing the families she has worked for as “Family C” and “Family G” and “Family L” and I have no idea if I’m supposed to buy a vowel next or what but I know this is not going to work out because I need someone a little more laid back.
So basically, I’m searching for Miss Sort of Energetic and Sort of Laid Back Who Can Cook Amazing Chicken. And convince my daughter to use a fork against her father’s wishes. I know she’s out there somewhere.