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I recently took a walk to Starbucks with my older girls. Well, I tried to secretly slip out alone but we have these damn chimes on the door that go off every time someone enters or leaves.

At first I thought they were a fantastic way to keep young children from wandering outside undetected. But now I realize they are just a fantastic way to keep adults from wandering outside undetected.

The girls hear me attempt to leave and want to come for the walk. Not so much for the walking part but the eating of doughnuts at Starbucks part.  I agree to take them with me.

And Summer wants to bring her doll.

“Summer, you can bring the doll. But I’m not carrying it. You must carry it all the way there. And all the way back. I am NOT holding it.” I explain. Because I am so sick of this racket where kids bring shit with them and then expect us (their parents) to carry it. I’m not taking part in this insane ritual.

She, of course, absolutely promises me that she is up for the task of holding the doll. I do not believe her but we venture off to the holy land of caffeine.

As we walk, the doll somehow starts getting heavier because Summer’s arms begin to ache. In fact, the pain is so excruciating that she begs me to carry it.

Taking a stand for moms everywhere, I refuse. I express my deepest sympathy for her aching limbs and remind her that she has made a commitment to hold the doll.

And that’s when Dylan pipes in, “I’ll carry it.”

“Dylan, that is so sweet of you to do that for her.  You are a very good sister.”

Dylan takes the doll and we all walk happily to the coffee shop.  We pick out our doughnuts, order my coffee and then I reach down to grab my wallet and here is what I find…

Dylan had simply stuck the doll in my purse so I would unwittingly carry it.

I think I just got outswindled by a 6 and 4-year-old.

And seriously, how much crap do I have in my bag if I don’t even notice when there’s a big red headed doll in it?

mama bird notes:

Once in awhile someone will write me about a child who needs prayers. Lots and lots of prayers. Ty Campbell is one of those boys. He has a very rare and aggressive cancer. He is 3 years-old. You can read his story here.

28 Responses to i will not carry your stuff

  • Tiffaney says:

    I can’t wait to see what she finagles other people to do for her when she’s 16. Love that girl; she’s one to watch! ;)

  • Jeanne says:

    LOL–kids are natural con artists.

    I don’t mind playing beast of burden for kids as much as I do men. The phrase “Can you just stick this in your purse?” is a call to battle. If you want to haul around a bunch of crap, get your own purse!

  • That is a totally adorable and hysterical. Thanks for the laugh this morning. And, thank you so much for mentioning my baby boy Ty. He does need lots of prayers and positive thoughts and I am so grateful to you for helping to spread the word about his story :)

  • hokgardner says:

    OK, I’m sorry, but I laughed out loud.

    And a doll is better than what I usually get suckered into carrying – like scooters and tricycles because their legs get too tired to scooter anymore.

  • oh that picture made me laugh! and yeah, i know, what do we have in our purses that we don’t notice these things? (answer: lots of crap that feels just as heavy as a big red-headed doll).

  • Anna says:

    Too funny! My seven-year-old cons the five-year-old to carry her backpack home from school every day. Part of me knows it isn’t right, but I stay quiet ’cause I’m just glad I’m not carrying it.

  • Alex says:

    LOL!! Somehow I still get conned into carrying my 40-pound 4 year-old everywhere. How does that happen???

  • Heidi Giffin says:

    This is hilarious…I love that you took a stand but hate that you were outsmarted…did you just laugh when you realized you had the doll after all?! I think that’s the only appropriate reaction at that point. :)

  • Slow Panic says:

    Again, you are killing me.

    last weekend we took the boys on a mile walk around a local college campus. D8 wanted to bring his water bottle on the walk. I said, “I am not carrying it. You have to carry it.” yada yada yada I ended up carrying the damn water bottle.

  • Jordana Bales says:

    That is hilarious! I’m probably the only one in the world that would think this, but I want to know who took that picture? Did you do it with your other hand? Enlist someone else at Starbucks? Ask the girls? Hmmmm

  • amourningmom says:

    It is crazy how much stuff little people have to take with them. Sorry that the girls pulled a fast one on you (I am sure you have figured out that it won’t be the last time that they do . . .). xoxo

  • Jen says:

    Long time reader, first time commenter.

    I have 3 girls almost the same ages and it amazes me how similar our experiences are. Especially with the 4 year old… in fact we had almost an identical snowshoeing experience last weekend. It makes me feel better to see that I’m not the only one witha moody Judy living under my roof.
    What is it with 4 year olds? AHH!

  • AmyBlam says:

    I will not carry. But bratchild is 9. I also have a rule that if I buy her something she has to carry that as well. She once threatened to call the police since I was being abusement. And you can’t abusement children. Of course, she also shrieked that I was trying to kill her to death over fingernail cutting.

  • anymommy says:

    We walk to Starbucks all the time too, but my kids think that they only give children water. Because I’m evil & I have a limited SB budget. LOVE the picture. She wins this round.

  • Steph says:

    no, she DID. . N’T. i can’t pull that off, can I? oh well, at least I can embarass my kids in person.

kelcey kintner


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